


Between the Lines

by HarperJean, InvisiblyShaken_827



Category: Hanson (Band), Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Behind the Scenes, Cheating, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Professional Theatre, Shakespeare, Slow Burn, Technical theatre, Theatre, Theatre Company AU, Unrequited Love, emotional cheating, romeo and juliet - Freeform, tech week
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-29 16:38:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 60,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14476818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarperJean/pseuds/HarperJean, https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvisiblyShaken_827/pseuds/InvisiblyShaken_827
Summary: Every summer, the Oklahoma City Playhouse produces the works of William Shakespeare for sold out audiences.  When Frances Brooks is hired on to play the role of Mercutio, she steps into the bubble of heightened reality that is created in every theatre company.  There she meets Taylor, a musician who has a long history with the company stage manager, Bella Bailey.  Their story unfolds in between the lines of the world's greatest tragedy.The course of true love never did run smooth.





	1. All The World's A Stage

#### Chapter One - Frances 

The room buzzed with excited chatter. Frances looked around nervously, already feeling overwhelmed. She didn’t know where to sit or what to do with her hands. Everyone around her was so loud, so confident. She already felt like she absolutely did not belong in this room full of excited extroverts. Yet here she was, about to take on a role she had dreamed about for months since she had gotten the call from the Oklahoma City Playhouse, offering her the role of Mercutio in _Romeo and Juliet_. At first she had questioned them, because she had read for, obviously, the role of Juliet. She was small and shy, with delicate features and wide, fawn-like eyes. There was no other role she would ever think about going in for.

“I think you might have the wrong number,” she said to the company manager as she ascended the stairs out of the Harlem subway station on her way home. 

“Are you Frances Brooks?” 

“Yes…” 

“Well then we’re offering you the role of Mercutio. Do you want it or what?” 

Frances chuckled with disbelief. “Um, yeah!! Yeah I do! Thank you!” 

“Great, we’ll email you your contract and everything. See you in two months!” 

She had rushed home to her small apartment and screamed the news to Matt, her boyfriend of one year (roommate for two, they always joked that they did everything out of order). She leapt into his arms but he only caught her half heartedly. He didn’t seem to share her sheer glee at landing a role at an equity playhouse. But what was she supposed to do? Stay in the city and serve on the upper east side when she could actually be getting paid to do what she got a degree in? 

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket as she looked around the rehearsal room. There was a table set up with scripts and water bottles. She almost wished there was assigned seating, because she had no idea where to place herself. She took her phone out to see who was contacting her. 

_Have a great first day! Love you!!_

It was from Matt. She quickly texted back. 

_Love you, too! Call you tonight!_

She loved Matt, she did. _She did_. She hated feeling like she had to convince herself of that. She had been in New York City for two years and that time was spent with Matt. He had been looking for a roommate and she fit the bill and before they knew it they became great friends. Then, a year into living together, they started dating. Frances always measured their time together in the months from when they became “official”. Matt loved to add a year to that, since “we’ve been an old married couple since the day you moved in.” 

A week before she left for the gig in Oklahoma, Matt took her out to dinner and proposed.

She said no.

They fought hard that night, Matt’s pride wounded from embarrassment and Frances letting words she had kept bottled up for months loose onto her unsuspecting boyfriend. 

“You’re just scared of losing me! That’s no reason to get engaged!!!” 

“But I love you, Frank!” Matt said helplessly, using her silly nickname that she only gave to people who were closest to her. 

“I...I love you, too but...just...let me go for a little while okay? We can still be together. You don’t have to dig your claws in so hard.” 

“That’s not what I’m doing!” 

The fight ended and they stayed together, even though in some deep part of herself, Frances wished they had broken up that night. But they didn’t, and now they were long distance and Frances promised to Skype him every night to fill him in on how every minute of every rehearsal went. 

“Okay, everyone find a seat!” The director shouted from the head of the table. Frances scurried over to the nearest seat and looked expectantly up at the director. He was flanked by the creative team, and right after that sat the two leads. Frances felt an excited flutter in her stomach. It had been years since she had actually done anything like this. She had been in the city for so long working at a restaurant and going to auditions that led nowhere that she was close to giving up. She often wondered why she was still pursuing this stupid dream anyway. 

But...she had landed this role. That had to count for something. 

She glanced across the table and locked eyes with the boy sitting opposite her. He smiled reassuringly. Something shifted. 

She wasn’t really sure what happened; she couldn’t even put words to it. But she felt something. She smiled back at the boy. He had messy blonde hair shoved into a beanie. His eyes were shockingly blue, something that Frances didn’t always take the time to notice (she had trouble looking people in the eye, as a general rule). Seeing this boy felt like a big deal. She felt her stomach flip and her heart pound and her brain screaming _remember this_. It was only a look.

She tore her focus away from him and back to the director, who was telling everyone to introduce themselves and say what role they were playing and one fun fact about themselves. Frances could go onstage and deliver heart wrenching monologues, but getting-to-know-you days were her least favorite part of the rehearsal process. She always tripped over her own name. 

“I’m...um, hi. I’m Frances Brooks. I’m playing the role of Mercutio. And um...I guess it’s fitting that I’m playing a boy’s role because my friends all call me Frank.” 

She sat down, already embarrassed at her choice of words. _Why am I an actor, again?_ She asked herself. She fiddled with her pencil until she heard the boy across from her start to speak. He sounded so sure of himself.

“Hey, I’m Taylor Hanson. I’m playing in the pit. Piano. I’ve spent the last month or so composing all the crazy music you’re gonna hear during the show. And um let’s see...I have six brothers and sisters.” He looked at her as he spoke, as though he was addressing only her. She smiled again, and waited patiently for her heart to stop pounding. 

She felt her phone buzz. She pulled it out of her pocket and read the text under the table.

_You’re gonna do great! Call me as soon as rehearsal is done! <3 _

***

“Hello?” Frances answered her phone as she pushed her way through the front doors of the theatre. Rehearsal had ended seconds before, and she had barely had time to sling her backpack on her shoulders before her phone was buzzing aggressively.

“Hey! How was rehearsal?” 

“Barely over, Matt, I was gonna call you when I got back to actor housing.” 

“I know, I was just excited.” 

_Don’t be annoyed, Frank,_ she told herself, _he loves you. Don’t be annoyed._

“It was good!” She said, her voice dripping with false cheer. She hated first days of rehearsal, she could never calm down and always felt like everyone was judging her. She also felt like the boy across from her had been keeping an eye on her through the entire read through, which made her stomach lurch. Not necessarily in a bad way just in...a way. 

“What did you do?” 

“Ummm we did a read through of the script. Introduced ourselves. The director talked about the concept.” Frances looked around as she made her way around the block to the condos the theatre used as actor housing. She was excited to get back to her small room and unpack. During the last hour of rehearsal she had begun counting down the moments until she could make some tea, put on some music, and make the space her own. 

“What’s the concept?” 

“Modern day.” 

“Lame.” 

“Matt, come on.” 

“Sorry, go on.” 

“It’s modern day, but...different, I don’t know. Grittier, I guess. There’s also original music, this...guy was commissioned to write it and so there’s gonna be a whole pit of musicians. I met the composer, he seems cool.” Frances tested out what it felt like to mention Taylor. Her heart fluttered. She rolled her eyes at herself. 

“I can’t wait to see it.” 

“Yeah, I’m excited to actually get started. I hate first days.” 

“What are you doing tonight?” 

“Unpacking and just...hanging out I guess. In my room.” 

“Hey, Frank!” 

Frances whipped her head to the side, nearly dropping her phone in surprise. Taylor was jogging up towards her. 

“Who is that?” Matt asked. 

“Hold on,” she said into the phone. “Hey!” 

“What are you doing tonight?” Taylor asked, mirroring Matt’s question from only moments before. 

“Um...unpacking.” 

“You wanna go get a drink? Everyone is going. First day of school is over!” 

“You should go, Frank. Go have fun,” Matt said into her ear. 

“I gotta go, Matt, I’ll call you later.” She hung up and slid her phone into her back pocket. Taylor looked at her expectantly. “Um...I think I’m gonna just go back to actor housing and look over my lines.” 

“You seemed pretty much off book already…”

“Oh God, I’m not even close.” 

“Okay...well...I’ll see you tomorrow then.” 

“Yeah...yeah, see you tomorrow.”


	2. Trust A Few

#### Chapter Two - Bella

“I’m sick of every bar in this town,” Bella whined, sprawling across the bar top.

“No one is forcing you to come out, Isabella.”

“Don’t call me that, Taylor,” she growled, pulling herself up to face him. He was blushing, of course. Bella rolled her eyes. “Calm down, I’ll get over it.”

Taylor nodded at her in that way that always made her stomach flip and she looked away to hide her own blush. She took a long sip of her whisky and ginger ale and looked around the bar. She was surrounded by the usual suspects; the same cast and crew members she been working with for the last three years at The Oklahoma City Playhouse as the resident stage manager. 

The company itself was small but reputable and she liked that new faces were few and far between. New faces were not Bella’s favorite. She took another pull from the straw in her cocktail and spun around her barstool to face Taylor.

“The new girl seems annoying, right?” 

Bella spat the words out with as much disdain as she could muster. She had noticed the little glances the stranger had thrown at Taylor during the read through. She had also noticed the girl’s striking red hair and porcelain skin; she was far too pretty not to be noticed. Taylor had surely noticed. Bella watched him squirm a bit and shrug in response.

“Frank?” he asked, trying to hide a smile. Bella wanted to slap him.

“Yeah, Frank. She seems annoying. Stuck up or something.” 

“You haven’t even spoken to her, Bella…”

“I don’t have to, Tay. I can just tell. I’m good at reading people. And this Frank girl IS annoying. She’s going to throw off our whole thing just by being here…”

“What thing?” Taylor interrupted.

Bella glared at him. She watched Taylor gulp and look down, instantly regretting cutting her off. She took a deep breath and stood up, moving into his personal space.

“I don’t mean _our_ thing,” she whispered to him, purring onto his ear, before straightening up. “I mean the whole group dynamic. It’s been all the same people, with exception of some crew members for the last three seasons! Why mess with a good thing?” She finished the last of her drink, holding Taylor’s eye as she drained the rocks glass. “I’m never going to be okay with her….just so you know.”

The truth was that plenty of actors and crew had come and gone over Bella’s three years with OCP. She would usually ignore them, learning their names only because it was her job. Frank was the first one that bothered her. She couldn’t explain why, but she knew there was something to the feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

She looked at Taylor, who was placing his empty beer bottle on the bar top and taking out his wallet.

“Are you leaving?” she asked him, trying not to sound desperate.

“You’re in a foul mood and I’m not having fun.” He plopped a few bills onto the bar and shoved his wallet back into his pocket, avoiding her glare. She reached out and took him by his wrists, pulling him to face her.

“Bella...I gotta go…” He wouldn’t look up but he didn’t struggle to get away either.

“Tay, come on. I’m sorry, okay?” She brushed a stray strand of blonde hair from his forehead, coaxing his baby blue eyes to meet hers. Even in the dark, they were clear as ice. Her stomach flipped again. “Maybe I can make it up to you? Like old times?”

Taylor smirked. A million memories of seasons past came rushing back and Bella laced her fingers into his. They had been here many times before, show after show and season after season. It didn’t matter how many bad fights or messy breakups they’d had in the past; they always found themselves right back here. 

Bella took a step toward him, trying to close the distance between their bodies. 

“Stop.” Taylor stepped back suddenly.

She froze, her face contorting into a snarl. She couldn’t understand what she was hearing. She instinctively crossed her arms in front of her, fighting the urge to cry or scream. This is not how this was supposed to go.

“What, Taylor? What’s your problem?”

“I just…..we always do this…”

“What do we always do?”

“This! You act like a monster and then flirt with me and I’m supposed to….I don’t know…”

“Please don’t bring up old shit, Taylor.” Bella figured she should call it before he could. She watched as he bristled and tried to maintain the flimsy groundwork he was trying to lay.

“I’m not just going to forget, Bella. You cheated on me. I can’t just...let that go.”

“Okay, first of all, we weren’t even dating when that happened. And second of all, I told you how sorry I was. And you forgave me! Which means you don’t get to bring it up anymore!” Bella was filled with rage, shouting full-voice in the bar, but she didn’t care. She liked the have all eyes on her, especially when she was right. 

“I need more time, I guess,” Taylor cowered. Bella felt a twinge of victory.

“Way to finally be direct,” she smirked, relishing the control she had regained. 

“I’m gonna go,” he said, shoulders slumped, ignoring the other company members who were snickering at them across the bar. 

“Well, you let me know when you’re done pouting,okay. I’m not mad.” Bella smiled and returned to her bar stool, signaling to the bartender for another drink. She could sense that Taylor was still standing behind her, but she ignored him until she heard him walk away.

After a few minutes, her next cocktail arrived and she spun around to make sure he had gone. Scott, the sound tech, was standing in his place.

“What was all of that?” Scott asked, his voice dripping with judgment.

“Just me and Taylor being...me and Taylor.” She smiled, grasping for any sense of self confidence she still had.

“You guys are a walking disaster, you know that.” Scott plopped down onto the barstool beside her. 

“I know…” she sighed. “Still, I can’t imagine my life without him.”

Hearing herself say the words aloud was jarring. She had known from the first conversation they shared years ago, that Taylor was someone she wanted in her life. He smoothed out her rough spots, polished what was dull inside her. She had loved him from the start. The trouble was that she didn’t know the first thing about expressing that love. The default for her had always been finding a way to get him into her bed. But he was so much more to her than that.

“That’s so cheesy,” Scott guffawed, breaking her away from her thoughts. She felt Scott’s hand on her knee and her stomach lurched. 

“Thanks a lot, dude.” She jumped up from the barstool and slammed her drink. This exchange with Scott was the last thing she needed. “Pay my tab, okay?”

She marched away and headed for the door, hoping she could drive herself home before the whisky took hold. She could hear Scott call her some unflattering names as she walked out the door, but she didn’t care. 

As she walked toward her car, which was still parked at the theatre, she glanced down at her phone. She was hoping for a text from Taylor, but there was none. She opened her Facebook app and plugged “Frances Brooks” into the search bar. There were hundred of hits and she scrolled, looking for Frank’s page.

She ran carelessly across the street, without checking for traffic, then looked back at the profile in front of her. She couldn’t explain why she hated this girl but she definitely did. She was about to search through Frank’s photos as she approached her car, but a figure caught her attention.

Taylor was standing in front of her drivers side door, looking lost. She knew that look all too well. The tension and anxiety in her gut was relieved. She smiled and unlocked the car doors. They climbed in in silence and drove away.


	3. Talking Isn't Doing

#### 

Chapter Three - Taylor 

“Good morning, sunshine!” Bella chirped from the bedroom door. She already had her to-go mug of coffee in hand, and Taylor could smell the eggs she had cooked for breakfast wafting from the kitchen. He had to hand it to her, the girl had her morning routine down to a science, at least when rehearsals were underway. She would wake up with plenty of time to straighten her hair, organize her stage manager’s book, and cook breakfast; all while checking her phone every ten minutes to make sure that no actors had texted her with some emergency that would hinder them from making it to rehearsal on time. “You want some breakfast before we leave?” 

Taylor wasn’t a morning person, and often dreaded the first week or two of rehearsals with 10am call times. He groaned from his spot in Bella’s bed and rolled over, hoping she had woken him up too early and that he still had some time to doze back off to sleep. 

“Come on Tay, I already let you sleep too long. I can’t be late today. Or any day, but especially today.” 

“Okay, okay, I’m up,” Taylor moaned as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair. He glanced around blearily, the sunlight already streaming through the bedroom window. He checked his phone and saw that it was 9:15, and he knew that Bella liked to leave by 9:20. He pulled on some clothes, stuffed his hair into a beanie, and happily accepted the cup of coffee that Bella shoved into his hands. 

Taylor was finally starting to wake up by the time they pulled into the parking lot, gulping his hot coffee as fast as he could. He rested his head momentarily on the passenger seat headrest before opening the door and heading into the rehearsal hall. The previous night had been a blur, just like so many nights before that one. When they finally left the bar, they drove back to Bella’s apartment in silence, an unspoken agreement hanging in the air. They always fell back into each other, no matter how big the fight was or how long the silence between them lasted. Taylor would leave for months at a time to go back to Tulsa, and no matter what, when a call from the Playhouse came, he would always answer it, accepting whatever offer they laid out for him. He knew that, whether it was music directing, playing in the pit, or composing original music, the gig would inevitably come with an added benefit - Bella. 

Taylor met Bella three years prior, when she first started working at Oklahoma City Playhouse. He had done a few gigs there, playing keyboard in the pit, when she took the job as their resident stage manager. She made her presence known right away, and was good at her job. They hung out in big groups for that first summer, every once in a while catching each other’s eye over a big bar table or at a company event. When the summer rep ended, Taylor stuck around for strike, staying and helping long after the instruments were loaded out. They joked around and wove tieline into friendship bracelets like two lovesick teens. He loved watching Bella in action, delegating work and handling power tools with quiet confidence. When they were done they went out for a drink and ended up making out in the parking lot. 

And now, here he was, three years later, stepping out of Bella’s car at the beginning of the summer rep after a night of sex and confusing feelings. 

He looked towards the door and saw someone sitting on the steps, coffee cup in hand, waiting to be let into the building. Her long red hair was pulled into a braid that cascaded down her back, and she was dressed in an old t-shirt and frayed jeans. He waved enthusiastically, immediately feeling very awake. 

“Hey, Frank!” 

She looked up from her book, clearly surprised. “Oh um...hey!” 

“Bella is here now so she can let you in.” 

“When did you get here?” Bella asked, almost scornfully, which made Taylor feel the need to be even nicer. 

“Um around 9:15. I’m chronically early.” 

Taylor let out a loud laugh and then wondered why...that wasn’t even a joke. Or really funny in any way. 

“Well I usually don’t get here til 9:30 and you don’t really need to be here before 10,” Bella quipped. 

“Oh, it’s okay! I like being outside and I got to read a little,” Frank replied with a shy smile. Taylor could feel Bella roll her eyes even though her face was turned away from both him and Frank. 

Taylor took a seat behind the piano once they got into the rehearsal hall, and mindlessly began to play while the actors arrived and got ready to dive into the script for the day. He kept catching himself glancing over at Frank, who now had her delicate freckled nose in her script. He was curious to see how such a shy, quiet girl would convey the classically brash and outspoken character of Mercutio, yet he had no doubt that there was a reason she was cast in the role. 

He glanced over at Bella, who flashed him a huge smile before leaning over to the director to let him now it was 10am on the nose, and it was time to get started.

***

“You comin’ out, Tay?” Bella asked as she packed up her stage manager’s kit and shoved her binder into her backpack. “I think everyone is going to Three Birds,” she said, referencing the bar a few blocks down the road where everyone seemed to end up after rehearsals and performances.

“I think I’m gonna stay here for a little while and practice. I can walk back to your place when I’m done.” 

“Are you sure?” Bella asked, a hint of threat in her voice, but Taylor held his ground. 

“Yeah, there are things I want to fix now that I’ve seen a little bit of the show on its feet.” 

“Suit yourself.” Bella shrugged, flipping some lights off and heaving her backpack over her shoulders. “Lock the door behind you when you leave.” 

“Will do.” 

Taylor cracked his knuckles and began to play. Nothing in particular, not even any music from the show, just random chords. He needed to clear his head. Two days into rehearsal and he already needed to clear his head. He chuckled at himself, his eyes closed as he continued to play. 

The mess with Bella was a disaster waiting to happen. Well, in reality the disaster had already happened, he was just living with the aftermath at this point. But there seemed to be no way out, and he did care for her. He was too stubborn to give up just yet. 

He opened his laptop on top of the piano and pulled up the composition software where he had all the music for the show stored. He would start from the beginning, and fix the things he needed to tweak, even if it took him all night. This always seemed to happen after the first few days of rehearsal, and luckily, the creative team always let him fix and change things - all the way up until tech week when they begged him to stop working and just play. He dove in, but only ten minutes later he could feel his focus slipping. 

He mindlessly opened Facebook in a new tab and scrolled down the feed, stopping when he saw a status from one of his newest friends. 

_Frances Brooks (3 minutes ago) First day of blocking done and done!! I’m already loving this process!_

He smiled and glanced over to the chat window. She was online. 

_Taylor Hanson: Hey!_  
 _Frances Brooks: Hi, what’s up!_  
 _Taylor Hanson: Nothing, just wondering why you’re on facebook instead of out with the cast yet again._  
 _Frances Brooks: You are also on facebook, sir._  
 _Taylor Hanson: True._   
_Taylor Hanson: I’m still at the theatre lol._  
 _Frances Brooks: What? Why!_  
 _Taylor Hanson: Working on the music. Yet again. I’m never done...until they force me to be done._  
 _Frances Brooks: Fair haha._  
 _Frances Brooks: I’m working on all these freakin’ lines!_  
 _Taylor Hanson: Yeah, you’ve got a lot._  
 _Frances Brooks: You’re telling me. It’ll be fine though. I’ve been studying this stupid play my whole life it seems so I should be able to get it :P_  
 _Taylor Hanson: You’ll be great!_  
 _Frances Brooks: There’s literally no way for you to know that, but thank you._  
 _Frances Brooks: I’m about to call it quits for the night and watch TV I think. Wild night._  
 _Taylor Hanson: My favorite activity! What are you watching?_  
 _Frances Brooks: It’s lame but I’m watching old sitcoms on Netflix because it’s comforting. So nothing new! Haha._  
 _Taylor Hanson: I do the same thing, no worries. It’s like comfort food or something._  
 _Frances Brooks: Exactly!_  
 _Taylor Hanson: Bella gets annoyed with it but I don’t really care._  
 _Frances Brooks: Are you all dating?_  
 _Taylor Hanson: That’s a loaded question._  
 _Frances Brooks: Oh, sorry. You don’t have to answer it lol._  
 _Taylor Hanson: No, it’s okay. You’ll hear about it soon anyway, the company loves to talk about it._  
 _Frances Brooks: Lol_  
 _Taylor Hanson: We’re kind of together._  
 _Frances Brooks: haha okay. You really don’t have to tell me anything, that’s your business. I’m just here to do a show._  
 _Taylor Hanson: Yeah, that’s what they all say. :P_  
 _Frances Brooks: Hahahaha_  
 _Frances Brooks: Well bud, I’m gonna make some tea and watch hours of TV until my eyes slam shut._  
 _Taylor Hanson: Sounds heavenly._  
 _Frances Brooks: I guess I’ll see you tomorrow!_  
 _Taylor Hanson: Yep! Bye Frank!_

As soon as Frances logged off, Taylor shut his laptop, already resigned to the fact that he wasn’t going to get any actual work done. He hoped that Frank would talk to him at rehearsal tomorrow. He didn’t have many real friends at the company - just drinking buddies and Bella. It would be nice to have another friend, and he had a feeling that Frank wasn’t a person who only pretended to listen. After all, they talked online for 2 minutes and he was already prepared to unload his entire relationship history onto her. 

He wondered what show she was watching. He wondered what kind of tea she was drinking. He wondered if she unravelled her braid and let her copper hair fall down around her shoulders while she studied her lines at actor housing. He wondered if he should be wondering those things.


	4. Better a Witty Fool

_Where u at?_

Zac hit send on this tenth text to his brother, but at this point, he knew he wouldn’t get an answer. Taylor was probably in rehearsal already. Zac looked at the time on his phone.

10:37am

Taylor was definitely in rehearsal already. He had given his youngest brother explicit instructions two days ago that if he insisted on showing up to his summer gig three weeks early, he needed to arrive either before 9am or after 6pm to avoid being locked out. 

Zac sighed in resignation and plopped down on the steps outside Taylor’s company housing. The sun was already high in the sky and the temperature was rising fast. His friend, Myles , had already driven off, leaving him stranded. Zac realized that sitting on Taylor’s stoop for the day sounded like actual torture. He quickly and clumsily gathered up his duffle bag and started to walk across the street toward the theatre.

It had been a long time since Zac had a job. He had never been cut out for the 9-to-5 schedule and had been fired from several restaurants for not showing up. It wasn’t that he hated working; he hated being told what to do. Still, it was impossible to do anything without money, so when Taylor mentioned an opening on the crew at the Playhouse, Zac figured there were worse ways to spend the summer.

He rounded the corner just as the GPS announced that his destination was on the right. The Playhouse sat beyond a sprawling parking lot, lined with trees and spring flowers. Zac walked up to the double doors and pulled them both open, playfully making an entrance.

“Can I help you?” a voice asked from somewhere inside the lobby. Zac spun around stunned. He saw a women with silver hair sitting behind a ticket window, glaring at him.

“Uh...I work here” he said, throwing her a smile. “I run follow spot.”

“You can’t go in there. There’s a rehearsal going on.” She scowled hard at him, looking down her nose in disgust. 

“I..I know...but…” 

“Sit down. Wait here.”

She vanished from the window and Zac looked around the lobby, uncomfortable. He found a bench and sat down, dropping his duffle bag onto the floor. He figured there were worse places to wait for Taylor, even if he had to deal with evil Granny’s disapproving stare. He started scrolling through his apps for a game when he heard footsteps.

Taylor approached him wearing an expression Zac had learned to fear. It was a look that warned him he’d messed up and would pay for it later. He sighed heavily and stood up, knowing he needed to do something fast.

“I’m here!”

He tackled his brother in a bear hug and lifted him off the ground with as much drama as he could muster.

“Zachary, stop...STOP IT! PUT ME DOWN!” Taylor was shouting, but also struggling not to laugh. Zac placed him back on his feet, relieved that some of the tension had been eased. Taylor composed himself and shook his head. “I really hate you, ya know?”

“Nah, you love me,” Zac teased with a goofy grin.

“Well, since you’re here...come on,” Taylor gestured for him to follow. “But know that Bella is not going to be impressed.”

***

Rehearsal had been boring to watch but it gave Zac a chance to scope out the prospects. He knew Bella was off the table, obviously, but it didn’t stop him from staring at her she forcefully ran the rehearsal. He loved a woman in charge.

There weren’t many other women in the cast. The girl playing Juliet wasn’t really his type; she was too sweet and too blonde. There were a few girls in some other chorus roles that weren’t terrible looking. He caught one of them looking at him during notes and he gave her a little smirk which made her blush.

Then, there was the girl playing Mercutio. Her fiery red hair and commanding presence was undeniably attractive. He found himself wondering about her. He decided to make her his first summer distraction.

When the rehearsal finally ended, the actors were gathering their things and going up to Bella or the director with questions and other business. Zac kept his eyes on the red head as she packed up her script.

“Frank!” Bella’s voice cut through the space and the girl looked up. Zac watched her as she made her way to the Stage Manager’s table. She was composed and serious, which made him even more curious about her. He wanted to see what happened when she didn’t have her guard up. 

She and Bella exchanged a few words about lines and blocking. Taylor approached and Frank shyly smiled and walked away, up the aisle toward the exit. Zac bolted for the aisle to cut her off.

“Hey!” he said, too much eagerness in his voice. 

“Whoa...hi…” she replied, jumping back a bit. 

“I’m Zac. I’m gonna run follow spot for the show.”

“Okay…”

“This show. The one you’re in...good in. You’re good….in this.” He couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. He was making a complete fool of himself, but he couldn’t stop. He could see her face contorting in unamused confusion.

“Thanks.” She started to walk away. He had to do something.

“I’m Taylor’s brother.” He hadn’t meant to shout. He felt his cheeks flushing. “You wanna go out sometime?”

It was suddenly very clear that everyone else in the theatre was watching them. Frank looked around nervously, probably wishing for a savoir. Zac knew that he couldn’t back down now. He stood his ground and waiting for her to respond.

“I...I have a boyfriend.”

There was a sudden chorus of laughter from the spectators, as Frank moved quickly past Zac and out the door. Zac met Taylor’s eyes and shrugged. He didn’t dare let his humiliation show.

***

“So what are you doing here?” Bella asked, her face set in righteous judgement.

“I didn’t have anything else to do.” Zac took a swig of his soda and propped his feet up on the couch. 

Bella’s apartment was much nicer than Taylor’s actor-housing dump and Zac liked to make himself at home. He also liked to make Bella uncomfortable. She shifted in her seat, holding in her instinct to tell him off. If Zac knew anything about the weird, pseudo-relationship between her and his brother, it was this: Bella needed Taylor. He made her seem a lot nicer than she really was. He planned to use that to his full advantage.

“Well, I don’t know what you’re going to do for three weeks, while we’re all rehearsing.” Bella laughed condescendingly and sipped her bourbon on the rocks.

“I figure I’ll hang out here. This place is sick!” Zac watched her face twitch with annoyance. He laughed and drained the rest of his soda. “Grab me another one?”

“Zac, stop being an ass, please.” Taylor swatted at him until he sat up on the couch. 

“What? You don’t want your guest to have another soda?”

“You’re welcome to get it yourself,” Bella shot back. Zac stared her down, testing her resolve. For one brief moment, he saw a flash of weakness in her eyes, like the mask slipped for one beautiful second. It was gone as quickly as it came.

“Fine,” he said, getting up to go to the fridge. “But hospitality is dead!” 

“You’re dead if you don’t cut it out!” Taylor shouted after him. 

“Relax, Tay. I’m just messing around.”

Zac could hear Bella and Taylor mumbling to each other, trying to keep him from eavesdropping. He didn’t care to know what they were saying anyway. He opened his soda and leaned on the counter, watching them in their strange little dating-dance. They made no sense to him. 

It was going to be a very long summer.


	5. Listen to Many, Speak to a few

#### 

Chapter Five - Frances 

_“O, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you._  
_She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes_  
_In shape no bigger than an agate stone_  
_On the forefinger of an alderman,_  
_Drawn with a team of little atomies_  
_Over men's noses as they lie asleep…”_

Frank faltered over her words clumsily, her focus pulled towards to door that was being swung open with sloppy confidence by Taylor. 

_“Over men’s noses as they lie asleep...her wagon spokes made of long spinner’s legs,”_ she recovered gracefully, knowing that only someone with a keen eye would realize why she had lost her place. Unfortunately, she also knew that the person at the director’s table who was on book noticed everything. Her eye flickered over to Bella, who had looked up from the script with a knowing gaze. 

“You just have to say ‘line’, Frances, and I’ll feed you the line,” Bella said, visibly annoyed at Frances’ hesitation. 

“I’ve got it, thank you,” Frank replied, trying her very best not to sound cold or annoyed. 

“No problem,” Bella quipped, her voice dripping with false care. 

Frances closed her eyes and started up again, right where she left off. She knew this speech backwards and forwards. She had fallen in love with it in high school, when she first read Romeo and Juliet, a lovesick teenager who had never even kissed a boy but was hopelessly obsessed with the idea of star crossed soulmates. She loved every second of the play - every hopeful touch, every moment of horrendous timing, every playful battle of wit. She loved Mercutio’s words, all so rich and vivid. She knew that if she just let instincts take over, the speech would tumble out of her mouth with no delay. 

_“...Making them women of good carriage. This is she.”_ She finished, still feeling slightly defeated, but happy the hard part was over. 

“Okay, let’s take a ten. When we get back we can start from the top of the Queen Mab speech,” the director announced, his gaze boring into Frank, who tried her best not to visibly roll her eyes. Of course she had to do the speech again. Of course. 

She snatched her script up from her pile of things in the corner and ripped through the pages until she found the speech, turning towards the wall, planning on drilling it for the full ten minute break. The rest of the cast erupted in chatter, which was pretty normal for their short breaks. The rehearsal process was intense, and the excitable actors loved the few moments they got every day to goof off. Frank, on the other hand, always sat right down on the floor and shoved her nose in her script. 

She didn’t mind that she wasn’t making friends with anyone in the cast. Frankly, she didn’t have time or the desire. Nearly every evening, someone would politely extend an invitation to join the majority of the cast at the bar, but Frank would always decline, claiming that she would rather talk to her boyfriend or that she was tired or that she needed to spend time with the script. After rehearsal was done each day, she usually trudged back to actor housing, made dinner, and reviewed her lines until Matt called her on skype. She would try her best to come up with conversation to take them through an hour long call, and then she would say goodbye, just relieved that she had fulfilled her girlfriend duty for the night. Then she would switch over to facebook, her script laying abandoned on her pillow, and see if Taylor was online. He usually was. 

Their conversations were playful and silly. She liked talking to him, even though they barely ever spoke at rehearsal. They would talk about the day, funny moments at the theatre, where they went on lunch break. They realized how much they had in common, and how the same things annoyed them. Taylor mentioned his desire to move to New York to be a serious musician and Frank encouraged the dream, knowing that if he moved there, they could continue their banter long after Romeo and Juliet closed. He made her laugh, and she hoped she did the same for him. She never questioned why he wasn’t out with his girlfriend. She never asked for his number so they could text instead. She never told Matt that her only friend in Oklahoma was the cute boy that played piano. 

“Hey Frances, can I talk to you?” 

Frank looked up from her script, and met the blue-eyed gaze of Courtney, the actress playing Juliet. Frank knew exactly who Courtney was the moment she met her, and the few interactions she had only confirmed her suspicions. Courtney was the company’s go-to ingenue, only declining roles when something better whisked her away to a different company. She had played Cordelia and Hermia and Hero, and had surely swelled with pride the moment they offered her the crown jewel of Shakespeare’s female leads - Juliet. 

“Uh...sure. What’s up.” 

“Can we go outside, actually? We still have a few minutes,” Courtney’s eyes darted around wildly, and she motioned towards the back door of the rehearsal hall, which led out to the courtyard. 

“Okay…” 

Frank followed her like a confused puppy out onto the grounds, and nearly ran into her when she whipped around quickly to face her head on. 

“I’ve heard what you’ve been saying and I want you to know that I’m not...mad or upset. I think this is just a classic case of miscommunication.” 

“Wait, what?” Frank asked earnestly. She had no idea what Courtney was even talking about. 

“What you’ve been saying about me. I know what you think. That I’m a certain type of girl who gets what she wants and probably has rich parents who made this all happen for her. But I worked hard to get here, okay?” 

“I...I’m sure you did! I’m sorry, Courtney, but I’m just a little confused here…” 

“Listen, it’s okay. I’m telling you, I’m not mad. This isn’t the first time this has happened.” 

“The first time WHAT has happened?!” Frank was absolutely bewildered. She searched her memory bank for anything she might have said to Taylor about Courtney, but she came up with nothing. And other than that...she didn’t really talk to anyone else in the cast. 

“That someone has talked about me behind my back.” 

“I...I don’t really like... _talk_ though.” 

Courtney blinked aggressively, the wheels in her head clearly turning. Frank looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to work it out. 

“I did think it was weird. You never come out with us or anything.”

“Exactly. I don’t have anything bad to say about you, and even if I did, who would I say it to?”

Frank took a deep breath and checked her watch, seeing that they only had one minute left of break. She was visibly annoyed. She thought she was out of high school, but apparently not. 

“Who even said that anyway?” She asked Courtney, knowing that she was still an outsider and the queen bee would probably never divulge the source of the rumor. 

“Oh, Bella said it.”

***

“Ugh, not NOW,” Frank groaned, slamming her laptop shut, silencing the skype ringtone, which she had decided was her least favorite sound in the world. She grabbed her phone and texted Matt, saying she was out with the cast, which was obviously a lie. She flopped down on her bed and covered her face with her hands, trying her best not to cry. It was stupid to cry. It was just some silly rumor; nonsensical, high school drama, that she didn’t need to concern herself with. She decided she would never think or speak of it again. It was like it didn’t even happen.

Her phone lit up and she reached for it, assuming it was Matt responding with a sad face emoji. Instead it was a facebook message notification from Taylor, wondering if she wanted to go to Three Birds with the cast. She _was_ hungry. And the mere sight of his name on her screen made her entire stomach tighten with excitement. 

She opened the messenger app and quickly fired off her reply. 

_“Yeah, I’ll meet you there.”_


	6. No Darkness but Ignorance

#### 

Chapter Six - Bella

Perhaps it was lack of sleep, the fact that Taylor had been distant, or that when he was around, he had Zac in tow. Whatever the reason, Bella was in a foul mood and had been for a week. 

She sat behind the table, watching the run through, her skin crawling every time Frank was on stage. She hated her even more now that she’d come out with the cast a few nights back. Everyone acted like the sun rose and set out of her ass and Bella was over it. She was especially over the fact that Taylor had invited her. It seemed to her that as soon as she mentioned her distaste for the girl, he’d jumped at the chance to befriend her. It made her feel stupid and she did not appreciate it in the least.

“Alright everyone, we’re at lunch” she ordered, once the first half came to an end. “I’ll see you all back in 30 minutes.”

The cast scattered and Bella looked around for Taylor, but he had vanished. She thought about texting him, but figured she’d get some excuse about how he needed the break for music stuff. She grabbed her wallet and headed toward the door. Maybe a quiet lunch alone was exactly what she needed.

The fresh air and sunshine was surprisingly calming. She was glad she’d opted to walk to the cafe down the street instead of eating the salad she’d brought in the green room. The cafe was busy and there was a line at the counter. She claimed a spot in line and started scanning the room for an open table. 

In the far corner, she saw Zac, his hair messy and covering most of his face. Was he napping? She felt a surge of annoyance, but it quickly dissolved into laughter when she noticed the dirty looks he was getting from neighboring diners.

When she got to the counter, Bella quickly ordered her meal and took a number. There were still several people ahead of her, waiting on their food, so she snuck over toward Zac’s table. The closer she got, the more certain she was that he was asleep. Knocked out and softly snoring. She put her hand over her mouth to suppress her giggles. 

She dropped into the seat across from him, reached over and carefully picked up his phone, which was connected to the earbuds in his ears. She pressed the volume up button down hard and held it.

Zac jolted awake, nearly toppling the table and everything on it. Bella couldn’t stop laughing.

“W..what the hell, Bella?!” His face was red as he pulled the earbuds from his ears. He scrambled to get his phone from her and she let him have it. She’d certainly won this round.

“You mad?” she asked with a broad smile. 

“Just know, I’ll get you back,” he said, trying not to smile, as he sat back down.

“Sleep here often?”

“Yeah, actually. This is my favorite nap spot. Or it was.” 

“You’re so weird.” 

He gave her a funny look that she couldn’t read. For a moment, she thought he looked kind of cute, with his messy hair and rumpled clothes. She shook the thought from her head as the man at the counter called her number. 

She hopped up and retrieved her food, then rejoined Zac at his table. It occurred to her that he hadn’t invited her to stay, but she didn’t care. She took a bite of her sandwich and looked up to find him watching her.

“What?” she asked, her mouth full. He smiled and reached over to steal a potato chip from her plate. Normally, she would have swatted him away, but she was too hungry to care.

“We’ve never done this before.” He took another chip.

“Done what?”

“Hung out. Just us.”

Bella stared at him. She didn’t like his tone. She didn’t like the look in his eye. She didn’t like that she was suddenly attracted to him for making her feel that way. She needed to regain the upper hand.

“We’re not hanging out, Zac. You’re sleeping like a hobo in this cafe and I’m having lunch like a responsible human.”

“Where’s Taylor?”

“He’s...I don’t know...I don’t keep tabs on him 24/7…”

“Whoa, okay.”

“God, shut up.”

“I didn’t…”

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” 

Bella realized she’d lost control. She didn’t owe him anything and she certainly didn’t need to waste her lunch break. She quickly wrapped her sandwich in a napkin and stood up to leave.

“Bella, I didn’t…”

“You can have those,” she said, indicating the pile of chips on her tray. “I need to go.”

“If you ever want to talk…” Zac stood up, catching her eye. “I mean, I know he’s my brother and I’m an idiot, but if you need someone…”

She looked around at the busy cafe and realized she was making a scene. Zac was still standing, waiting expectantly for a response. 

“You wanna walk me back to the theatre?” she managed, trying to sound composed. He nodded too enthusiastically and clumsily gathered his things, popped another chip into his mouth and bounded to the door.

“M’lady,” he teased, holding the door open for her and bowing.

“You’re such a loser.”

***

Bella checked the oven one more time to be sure the lasagna was baking properly. After a whole day of ghosting, Taylor had texted her, asking if they could hang out after rehearsal. She had quickly agreed, despite being angry at him for his lack of attention.

She knew that it would do no good to talk about it. They would never talk about it. That just wasn’t how they did things. 

The second half of rehearsal, she’d felt unfocused. She kept flashing back to her walk with Zac. It had been mostly silent, with the occasional wisecrack from him, followed immediately by an insult from her. It wasn’t a conversation, but it felt more intimate than anything she and Taylor had shared over the last few days. 

That scared her. 

She looked down at her phone to check the time when a text notification popped up from an unknown number. She opened it up to find a picture of herself, walking back from the cafe, bathed in sunlight. She looked like she was in the middle of a laugh. She smiled at the image of herself, feeling a light blush come into her cheeks.

_When did you take this?_ she texted, her heart beating fast as she waited for a response.

_youll never know im a ninja_

She rolled her eyes at the on-brand response. She texted back, shaking her head and grinning like a fool.

_Well, I like it. Thanks!_

She hit send just as the oven timer sounded. Her little fantasy bubble popped and she looked down at her phone screen. What was she doing? Was she really starting a text conversation with her boyfriend’s brother? She shoved the phone under a towel on the counter, as if that would make it all okay.

Taylor would arrive any moment and she needed to get her shit together. 

She pulled the lasagna out and placed it on the counter. She hurriedly set the table and was checking her hair when she heard a knock at the door. 

“Its open!” she shouted, posing by the table, pushing any thoughts of the texts or the picture or the walk as far out of mind as possible.

“Wow.” Taylor exclaimed as he walked in, looking exhausted. Bella ran to him, grabbed his face, and kissed him deeply. He obliged for a moment before forcing her to back up and let him breathe. “What was that about?”

“What? I’ve missed you!” Bella was sure he could hear the effort in her voice, the desperation leaking out from under her words. 

“I guess so,” he said with a gentle smile. “Look at all this. You didn’t have to....”

“I wanted to, Tay.”

“It’s been a really long day. Lots of working and reworking arrangements. They want me to add a vamp to one of the transitions…”

“Can we not talk about work?” Bella interrupted.

“Uh...yeah,okay…” 

“I just feel like we haven’t talked or spent any time…”

“It’s been busy. We’ve both been busy…”

“And I want tonight to be perfect…”

They both stopped and stared at each other, an uncomfortable silence hanging between them. Taylor looked like he could fall asleep on his feet, but Bella needed this night to be perfect. She needed this to be the night that smoothed things over; the night that made this week cease to matter. Made her thoughts about Zac not matter. Made Frank not matter. She would do whatever it took to make it all go away.

“I just...I love you, Tay.”

She couldn’t believe how easily the lie fell from her lips. She watched his face change from shock to something like terror and then back to shock again. She waited, preparing her defenses for what would follow.

“I...Bella, I...love you too?”

Her heart broke in an instant. That question mark in his response was everything. They had both just lied to each other in the biggest way possible. She felt like the dirtiest person alive. She needed to distract herself.

She closed the distance between them and kissed him again, silently begging him to go along with it. She could tell by the way his body responded to hers that he agreed. They stumbled toward the bedroom, wrapped up in each other. 

As they passed through the doorway, Bella fumbled with the lightswitch, plunging the room into darkness. Lies were easier to hide in the dark.


	7. Not With the Eyes, but With the Mind

#### Chapter Seven - Frances 

“Oh my God, STOP!” Frances yelled into her phone, even though she didn’t answer the call. It was Matt, again. She threw the phone down onto her bed, immediately feeling bad about her burst of aggression. Matt was fine. Matt was sweet. She shouldn’t treat him like this, even behind his back. She picked the phone back up gingerly and pressed the green answer button. 

“Hey!” She exclaimed with false cheer. She looked at herself in the mirror above the dresser and rolled her eyes at herself. She hated acting like this. 

“Hey baby! What’s up?” 

Frank had been so excited for this day off. She had a full day to explore, go sit at a coffee shop, and read a book that wasn’t her script. The day was a much needed break before heading into tech week, and she felt confident enough with her lines that she had finally decided to dive into the stack of books she brought with her from her New York apartment to keep her company for the summer. 

“Just about to head out for the day. I was gonna sit at the coffee shop down the street and read. It’s so nice out!” Talking about the weather. Great. 

“That sounds awesome. I miss you so much.” 

Frank couldn’t even bring herself to say she missed him too, which made her feel even guiltier. _What is wrong with you?_ She berated herself. _This boy loves you, be nice to him!_

He did love her. A lot. More than she loved him, she was sure of that. She would never forget how nervous and smitten he looked the night they went out for dinner a week before she flew off to Oklahoma. 

“You look...nice,” she had said, shocked at how well he had cleaned up that night. He even had on a tie. 

“Well we’re going to a nice restaurant,” he said with a shrug, a noticeable waver in his voice. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah I’m great.” 

When they got to the restaurant, Frances almost snapped at him for being so jittery and weird. He was laughing at everything she said, and beads of sweat were collecting at his temples. Finally, after they finished their entrees, Matt stood up and immediately dropped to his knee. Frank’s face flushed, and she started shaking her head almost imperceptibly side to side, a panic rising quickly in her throat. 

“What are you doing?” She mumbled. She was surprised he even heard her. 

“Frances Louise Brooks…” 

“Oh my God…” 

“Will you marry me?” 

Of course every table around them was watching her, waiting with bated breath for her response. She saw servers standing behind Matt by a drink station, hands on their hearts and happiness in their eyes for being able to play a small part in this huge, life altering moment. She heard her heart thudding in her chest.

“No…” she squeaked out. If her voice had allowed her, she would have screamed it. She was nowhere near ready to get married. She thought he knew that. 

Matt’s face fell dramatically. “...What?” He whispered. 

“I’m sorry but...I can’t…” 

They rode the subway home in silence, and when they arrived back at the apartment, they fought until Matt slammed the bedroom door in her face and she was left to sleep on the couch. The fact that they were still together was honestly a miracle. _I should be grateful_ , she thought to herself as Matt talked about his morning, _I’m very lucky._

“Anyway, I miss you so much. I hate that you’re not here.”

“I’m busy doing a show, dude!” 

“I know, I just...I don’t like sharing you.” 

“That….you should probably word that differently.” 

“Ugh, whatever. I think I’m gonna fly out for opening night. I was...it was gonna be a surprise but I’m too excited about it to keep it from you. So...I’ll be seeing you in a week!” 

“...What?!” 

“Yeah!”

“Matt...you really don’t have to do this.” 

“But I want to.” 

“You should save your money. I’ll...I’ll be home soon!” 

“Frank…” 

“It won’t be any fun anyway, I’ll be so busy and tired with the show.” 

“I don’t care.” 

“Matt, please, just listen to me.” 

“I am listening to you! And it sounds like you don’t want me to come see you. What is wrong with you, Frances? I feel like every time we we talk you’re a thousand miles away…” 

“Well, I _am in Oklahoma.”_

“You know what I mean. I just miss you, okay? There’s nothing wrong with missing my girlfriend.”

“I...I know, it’s just…”

“What?!”

“I don’t know.”

There was a long pause between them, and Frank resisted the urge to make a joke and lighten the mood. She also resisted the urge to let the tears in her eyes fall down her cheeks. She needed to keep it together.

“I...I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” Matt hung up before she could say goodbye.

She flopped back on the bed and let herself be upset for 10 seconds before getting up and heading out into the sunshine. She didn’t have time to be sad. She didn’t have time to be angry at her boyfriend. She had to keep it together. _She had to keep it together._

***

“Iced Americano, please,” Frank heard a familiar voice order. Her back was to the cash register, and she was stirring sugar into her coffee at the condiment bar. She turned around subtley to see a mess of blonde hair atop a boy dressed in frayed jeans and a well worn t-shirt. She couldn’t help the smile that crept to her lips, and yet, she scurried out of the coffee shop and sat down at a table on the patio, hoping to remain unseen. 

“Frank!” Taylor exclaimed as she was making her exit.

“Oh gosh, hey!” She said, tucking her copper hair behind her ears nervously.

“Whatchya doin?”

“I was just gonna read on the patio.” 

“Can I sit with you?” 

“Oh um...sure,” Frank agreed with a smile she was trying her best to stifle. 

He grabbed his Americano and followed her outside, the sunshine bouncing off of his hair and making Frank wish he had worn a beanie so that she didn’t have to keep telling herself to stop staring at his hair, _stop staring at his hair._

They found a seat on the crowded patio and Taylor took out his laptop while Frank finally cracked open her book. She took a deep breath. Finally she was doing what she had been dreaming about since rehearsal ended the night before. 

And yet...she couldn’t quiet her mind enough to focus on the story in front of her. She was still so annoyed at her boyfriend, who was probably texting her right now. She had left her phone on the bed, grateful to not hear it buzz for a couple hours. She was annoyed at herself for being annoyed. It was a vicious cycle. 

“You okay?” 

“Wh...sorry, what?” 

“Are you okay?” Taylor asked from across the table, his piercing blue eyes boring into hers. She felt so exposed when he looked at her. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just….stupid boyfriend stuff.” 

“Yikes.” 

“Yeah. I should probably just...rip the bandaid off.”

“Meaning what?” 

“Break up with him.”

“Oh, double yikes.” 

“Sorry...sorry I don’t...I don’t mean to like unload this on you.” 

“Hey, I asked!” 

“I know it’s just...I barely even know you.” 

“What do you mean, we talk all the time! We’re practically best friends, Frankie!” 

Frank snorted and then allowed herself to laugh for the first time all day.


	8. 'Tis One Thing to be Tempted

#### Chapter Eight - Bella

“A plague on both your houses!”

Bella watched Frank’s death scene in awe. Personal feelings aside, she had to admit the girl was talented. The opening night audience was clearly invested in the moment and from the booth, there didn’t seem to be a dry eye in the house. 

Taylor’s gorgeous score filled the theatre and Bella called the light shift, breathless from the beauty of it all. These were the moments that reminded her why she loved her job. She smiled into the headset as she called the next few cues.

The rest of the show went off without a hitch. Bella felt proud as she watched the audience filter out into the lobby, buzzing about the show. She caught a glimpse of Taylor coming up from the pit, dressed in a light blue button down that matched his eyes.

She gave him a wave and tried to ignore the sadness she felt at the sight of him. They’d been attached at the hip since they’d both dropped the “L” word, but none of it felt genuine. It did feel familiar. And safe. But not genuine.

They’d started saying it in front of other people, generating looks and whispers from the cast and crew. There were already rumors about potential wedding bells somewhere down the road. The whole thing gave Bella a lump in her throat.

She did love him. She had always loved him and she knew he loved her. But they weren’t _in_ love. Bella just needed him to belong to her. She didn’t truly understand it, but that didn’t change anything. He had stopped gazing at Frank and that felt like a win. 

She grabbed her phone and made sure everything was set for post show. Once the audience was gone, the Artistic Director would have a champagne toast for the company in the lobby and Bella was required to be there. 

She skipped down the stairs from the booth and pushed her way through the crowd of crew members at the bottom of the stairs.

“Everybody in the lobby in five!” she ordered. She caught Zac’s eye as she passed and he gave her a wink that made her heart skip a beat.

“Damnit Bella,” she whispered to herself. 

When she got to the lobby, most of the cast and the musicians were already there. She scanned the room for Taylor, but it was impossible to find him in the sea of bodies. She helped pour and pass out the flutes of champagne until the Artistic Director began his toast. She still hadn’t laid eyes on Taylor. As the company cheered, she sipped her bubbly drink, antsy to get back to the booth to break down.

She downed the rest of her champagne and placed the flute back on the table.

“Slow down, champ.”

Zac’s voice started her and she turned around to find him standing beside her. His flute was still full and he reached around her to set it down. She shifted her weight uncomfortably, trying to keep some distance between them.

“Not a drinker?” she asked him, hoping he could hear the judgement in her voice. He smirked.

“You need help closing up?”

Everything within her told her to say no. She didn’t need help. She never needed help. But he was looking at her in a way that made her stomach feel like it was going to fall out of her body. 

“Yeah, sure,” she choked. She prayed he couldn’t tell how hard she was freaking out. 

Their interactions since the day of the cafe had been limited to work, mostly. She had spent an hour showing him the ins and outs of running the spotlight. They had a few short exchanges over text that always ended the moment one of them got the least bit flirtatious. Bella had stopped her herself from mentioning what was going on with Taylor on several occasions and Zac never brought him up. It became easier and easier to conduct their weird little correspondence as something completely separate from the rest of the world. 

As she followed him through the door and up the flight of stairs to the booth, she felt dangerous. The alcohol she’d chugged on an empty stomach was starting to spread through her blood, making everything slightly hazy.

Zac held the booth door open for her and she moved past him fast, busying herself with anything she could think of to do. They worked in silence. He went through and systematically shut down all the lighting equipment while she bounced around the sound board, powering it down and covering it for the night.

The booth light was still dimmed from showtime, and with the house lights now out, the shadows were sharp and oppressive. There was nothing more to do and Bella moved into the main room of the booth, where Zac was waiting, leaning against the wall next to the lightswitch. 

“That’s it,” Bella said softly. Her voice was shaking slightly and she wished she hadn’t had that drink.

“Should we go?” Zac asked her, squinting his eyes against the glow of the ghostlight from the stage. 

“There’s nothing else to do,” she replied sheepishly.

He looked too attractive, his hair falling perfectly around his dark eyes as they bored into her. She let herself look him over; his toned arms, fitted black shirt and those lips…

She swallowed hard and wondered why she couldn’t will herself to leave the booth.

“Bella…” He was staring at her so intensely it gave her goosebumps. He pushed away from the wall and moved slowly toward her. Her feet felt like cement blocks, anchoring her to the floor. 

“Zac,” she whispered as he moved into her personal space. “...we can’t…”

“Can’t what?” he whispered back, his lips nearly touching hers.

She couldn’t believe this was happening. And she wasn’t stopping it. She wanted it. She took a step toward him, eliminating the air between their bodies. The feel her her body pressing against his was more than she could stand. She wrapped her arms around his waist and she felt his hands in her hair.

Their lips met and she saw sparks; fireworks in the darkness. He kissed her tenderly at first and she followed his lead. She thought maybe that was all it would be; one tender kiss and they’d run away, pretending it never happened.

Instead, she felt his tongue on hers, pushing deeper into her mouth and setting her whole body on fire. They went on for what seemed like hours, tongues and hands and lips and bodies yearning to be closer than they already were.

When they came up for air, both breathless and buzzing, Bella let her brain turn back on. 

“Oh, god…” she mumbled, her hands on her face, trying to come down. “What are we doing?”

“I...I’m sorry…” Zac’s face was hidden by his hands but she could tell he was upset.

“No, don’t be. I was there too…” 

They locked eyes in the dark, a million words exchanged in a single look. 

“That was….”

“That can never happen again.” Bella cut him off, crossing her arms and breaking eye contact. She could feel Zac’s heartbreak in the stillness.

“You’re right,” he said, finally.

“Switch off the booth light and shut the door.” 

She walked briskly past him, through the doorway and down the stairs. She fought the tears that were collecting in her eyes. She got into her car and started it up, wanting to get out of there before he came out after her.

As she pulled out of the parking lot, she looked down at her phone. She had three missed calls and over a dozen texts from Taylor.

She felt like a monster. She felt like the lowest kind of scum on the face of the earth. How could she be so careless? She went to call him when a new text message appeared. It was from Zac.

_is it ok that i want it to happen again?_

Bella tossed her phone onto the floor of her car and drove home, wishing she didn’t feel exactly the same way.


	9. The Shadow of a Dream

#### Chapter Nine - Taylor 

Taylor rushed down the hall, adrenaline from the opening night still pumping through his veins. He was so happy that the rehearsal process was over and that the run had begun. This was when he felt really alive. When he was in the pit, playing the piano, and signalling for the other musicians to crescendo or ritard. Carefully watching the music that he would surely know by heart by the third week of performances. Sneaking glances up out of the pit towards the actors onstage, who were buzzing just as much as he was, and soaking in every last drop of opening night magic.

The show itself had gone incredibly well, and Taylor was proud of the musicians surrounding him. While opening night was always electric and exhilarating, he was even more excited for halfway through the run, when everything had settled in and he could watch the show more closely. He could watch the story unfold. He could watch Mercutio deliver the Queen Mab speech without feeling guilty for doing so. He shook his head, banishing the thought. Frances had been incredible up there, and no one could deny it. She had some sort of magnetism in her performance; a brashness that made it clear that she was no Juliet - Mercutio was the only place in that story for her. He would love to see her do more roles; she was clearly very talented and also obviously loved and deeply understood Shakespeare. 

“Taylor!” As though the spiralling thoughts about her had summoned her, Frank emerged from the women’s dressing room in a green sundress that made her hair look even more vibrant. Taylor felt his stomach tighten when he saw her, knowing that watching her shine onstage just moments before was not helping the matter. 

“Frank! You killed it up there!” He exclaimed, trying his best to banish every lingering thought and be there in the moment. He gave her a huge hug and felt her giggle against his body. 

“Thanks!” She replied breathlessly when they finally broke the hug. “It’s been like...forever since I’ve actually done this. Well I’ve done stuff but nothing like this since...I don’t know...college?? More like...shitty little performance pieces for 15 people in the East Village but that was...God, that was great. That was so fun!” 

Taylor was taken aback by how chatty and joyful Frances suddenly was. He couldn’t help but smile widely back at her. He realized he was still grasping her hands and dropped them, looking around to make sure no one was watching them. 

“And the music! Taylor, it was incredible! Maybe I was just so focused in rehearsal that it never really sunk in for me but tonight it was just...magical, I don’t know. I can’t...I can’t believe you wrote all that!” 

“Aw shucks, Frankie,” he said, hoping she didn’t see the blush creeping up to his cheeks. 

“I’m serious! Wow, I feel insane. I feel drunk!” 

Taylor laughed loudly at the bubbly girl in front of him who had, at some point tonight, replaced the serious actress who rarely ever got a drink with the cast and spent most of her time poring over her script. “Well let’s go get more alcohol then!” He said through his laughter, pulling Frank down the hall towards the lobby where there was going to be a champagne toast to celebrate a successful opening. When they burst through the doors, Taylor still playfully holding on to Frank’s arm, they realized quickly that the toast had come and gone, and now people were mingling and schmoozing, everyone clutching a half empty flute of champagne. 

“I’ll get us some,” Taylor whispered determinedly, causing Frank to giggle. 

“What if there’s none left!” Frank said, playing along happily. 

Taylor scurried around the lobby looking for an unclaimed flute, causing Frank to stifle laughter at every turn, but came up empty. By the time he pulled her towards the rehearsal hall, she had tears in her eyes from giggling. 

“I know where they keep the extra!” He said over his shoulder as he opened the doors and ushered her inside. He walked straight to the fridge in the back corner of the huge room. “Pays sometimes to be dating the girl who basically runs the place. I know where everything is.” 

He struggled with the bottle until Frank took it from his hands, expertly opening it. 

“I’ve been a server for more years than I care to admit,” she said, handing it back to him. 

“No, no, ladies first.” 

“Straight from the bottle?!” 

“Sure, why not. It’s opening night!” 

Frank took a long swig, laughter still lingering on her face. When she lowered the bottle she looked at him for a moment too long, and both of them looked away, embarrassed. 

“Why are you so nice to me?” She asked plainly. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re like...my only friend here. Why did you message me on facebook that day?” 

“Cause I wanted to talk to you. I don’t think that’s so weird, Frankie.” 

They heard the door swing open and their expressions changed to pure panic. Taylor quickly grabbed Frank and shoved her under the piano, where they hid with their open bottle of champagne until the intern who was tasked with putting the bottles and plastic flutes in the recycling had left. Taylor’s heart thudded loudly, but he wasn’t sure if it was because they had almost gotten caught or because he was huddled around Frank in such close quarters. Once they were alone again, Frank stood up from their hiding place and straightened her dress. 

“I’m gonna go. But...thanks Taylor. This was the best opening night ever,” she said with a grin. He had to admit, he was having a lot of fun. He didn’t necessarily want it to end. 

“I’ll walk you out.”

They put the champagne back in the fridge and stopped by the dressing room to grab Frank’s backpack. She looked tired and happy, and Taylor wondered if she wanted to get another drink. He could go for another one. They had only had a few swigs of champagne each. As she was gathering her things, Taylor realized he had no idea where Bella was. He pulled out his phone and texted her. 

They walked out the back together and Taylor breathed in to say goodbye when he was interrupted by a loud and confident voice coming from the parking lot. 

“There you are!!!” 

Taylor watched Frank’s entire body sag, the fun from the evening evaporating into the muggy, June night. 

He had scrolled through Frank’s Facebook enough to know that this khaki clad man was Frank’s boyfriend Matt. He was jogging towards them and brandishing a bouquet of sunflowers. “You were amazing, babe! I’m so proud of you!” 

“I...I told you not to come, Matt.” 

“Well...surprise!!” 

He hugged her and Taylor watched as Frank tried her best to reciprocate. 

“Hey man, I’m Matt,” he introduced himself and held out a hand to Taylor. 

“Taylor. Nice to meet you. Um...I’m gonna go, I’ll see you tomorrow Frank!” 

“Yeah...yeah, see you tomorrow.” 

The bubbly, excited girl from moments before was gone. 

He walked towards Bella’s place, texting her a few more times, then calling her when he remembered he didn’t have a key. No answer. He tried twice more. Nothing. 

When he got to her apartment building he sat on the front stoop and waited. Surely she wouldn’t be too much later, right? He felt his phone buzz, thankful for a response. But instead of his girlfriend, it was from Frank. 

_I shouldn’t be annoyed, right?!?!_

Taylor smirked at the screen. He was surprised with how much fun he had that night with Frank, even if it was short lived.

_Nah. I’ll see you tomorrow, Frankie. Two show day! Get some rest!_

As he looked up from his phone he saw headlights from Bella’s car pull into her parking space. His waved at the car even though he couldn’t see her face inside. His phone buzzed one more time. 

_Thanks. Tonight was stupid fun. See you tomorrow. :)_


	10. Knows Himself to be a Fool

#### Chapter Ten - Zac

Zac stared at his phone, scrolling mindlessly to distract from how awkward he felt. He had actually been looking forward to the party all weekend, but now that he was there, he just wanted to leave.

The past couple days had been too much for him. After what happened with Bella, he’d spend most of his time fantasizing about it, replaying each detail over and over, driving himself crazy.

The trouble was that Bella hadn’t so much as looked at him since that night in the booth. He’d understood when she didn’t text him back that night. He’d been okay with her obvious attempts to ignore him over the following day. Then, after the second night, he’d hung back to help her shut down the booth. She’d been pretending not to notice him for a solid twenty minutes and he had needed to say something. He’d formed a thought and was opening his mouth to speak. 

Almost on cue, like something out of a terrible romantic comedy, she’d shot out of the booth like it was on fire. He could hear her shouting for Taylor and demanding that they leave immediately.

He didn’t like how it made him feel.

For the remainder of the weekend, she’d treated him like a plague; like something to be avoided at all costs. He kept telling himself that she would come around. That she just needed to process what she’d done and then she’d realize how much she wanted it too.

He looked up from his phone and scanned the crowd for her. When he found her, she was draped across his brother in an obscene gesture of ownership. No one was getting near Taylor without running into Bella first.

Zac’s stomach lurched. He couldn’t stand to watch how foolish she looked. And Taylor came off even worse. If only everyone knew what was really going on. He shook his head, trying to clear out the muck that was collecting.

“Hey,” a voice from beside him chirped.

Zac turned to find one of the chorus girls standing a bit too close for comfort. She was petite and mousy, not his type at all, and she was clearly few drinks in.

“What’s up?” he asked reluctantly.

“Do you even know my name?” she slurred.

“Uh...Carol?” Zac was already over this exchange, but this girl wasn’t getting it.

“What?! No!” she snorted. “I’m Abbie!”

“Oh...right.” He ignored her stare and trained his eyes on Bella, laughing loudly across the room, Taylor attached to her side.

“I’ve been...you know...watching you.” Abbie leered drunkenly at him. Normally, this would be an ideal situation for him. An easy hookup with no pretense and no strings after. 

“That’s really creepy.” Tonight, he wasn’t in the mood.

“Aw...I didn’t mean it like that…” she whined. 

Zac was out of patience and walked away, leaving her there to curse him under her breath. He sulked over to the kitchen and mixed himself an unbalanced cocktail.

“You’re Taylor’s brother, right?” 

It was Greg, the party’s host, who played Capulet. Zac had never spoken a word to the man, but here he was, helping himself to the booze in his kitchen.

“Yeah, I’m Zachary.” 

“Nice to meet you, sir” he said with a polite nod. “You want some OJ with that vodka?”

Zac looked down at his cup, the light mist of orange a mere suggestion of a mixer. He shrugged in response.

“You know, you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last.” Greg sipped from his own cup, keeping his eyes trained on Zac.

“What?”

“The way you’re looking at Bella. I’ve seen it a million times. She’s a lovely girl. But she’s one of those, ya know?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Mhmmm…” Greg’s knowing nods were getting annoying. “Must be even worse. Because he’s your brother.”

Zac swallowed the lump in his throat and faked a laugh. He took a long pull from his drink and turned away, just in time to collide with Taylor.

“Whoa, buddy, you okay?”

Zac felt his cheeks flush and he failed to form words. Taylor was smiling broadly, expecting a reply but nothing was happening. Instead, he could only stare at Bella, who was looking everywhere but at him.

“Bella..” he heard himself say. Her glance at him had lasted only a second, but it made his heart explode inside his chest. He gave her an uncomfortable smile.

She looked right at Zac, then pulled Taylor’s face to hers and kissed him hard, then pulled him away to another part of the room.

Zac tossed his drink into the trash and bolted from the house, avoiding the tears he felt welling up in his eyes.


	11. All the Devils are Here

#### Chapter Eleven - Frances 

“I want to leave,” Frank declared, a sense of finality in her tone that she only reserved for special occasions.

“You sure?” Matt asked, looking down at his beer. His red solo cup was still three quarters of the way full, but Frank didn’t care. She had to get out of here. She had to be away from the loud music and the people and Matt’s hand on her knee. She needed to leave. 

“Yes. Let’s go.” 

Matt heaved a sigh and followed Frank outside, where she was already on her phone requesting an uber back to actor housing. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Matt asked, grabbing Frank’s hand and trying to intertwine her fingers with his. She shook him free. 

“Nothing, Matthew. I just...I don’t like parties. You know this about me, this shouldn’t come as a shock.” 

“I don’t mean at the party, Frank, I mean this entire weekend.” 

“I don’t want to do this right now.” 

“Well I leave in the morning, so…” 

“Just...God damnit Matt, can’t we wait until we’re home?!” 

They spent the uber ride back to actor housing in complete silence. Frank didn’t even know why she was so mad. She kept trying to shake it, to reach over and grab Matt’s hand but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Everything about him made her entire brain buzz with annoyance, and she hated herself for it. It was a vicious cycle of complete and utter self loathing. 

The party had been fine. If she was a different kind of person, it would have even been fun. But as soon as she stepped into Greg’s living room she wanted to crawl into a hole and hide, especially when she looked over and saw Taylor and Bella arrive, hands tightly clasped. The entire night they were seemingly attached at the hip, which drove Frank up a wall for no reason she could exactly pinpoint. 

“So am I allowed to talk to you now?” Matt asked. 

Frances flopped down on her bed without answering. She knew she was acting like a petulant child, but she couldn’t stop. Everything was frustrating her. Matt, Bella, Courtney accidentally spilling her drink, Taylor never once looking at her the whole night, Taylor kissing Bella’s neck, Taylor….

“Frank.” 

“I don’t want to do this right now Matt!” 

“Then when?! When are we gonna do this? Because I’m leaving in the morning and then we’re going to be apart for the rest of the summer while you are here avoiding all my calls.”

“...What?” 

“I’m not an idiot, Frank. I can tell you’re annoyed with me and trying to avoid me. I know your phone isn't acting weird, I know you don't have bad service. I know you well enough to know that.” 

“Shut up,” she spat at him, tears forming in her eyes. She didn’t want to do this. She still wanted to find that hole she had imagined earlier, crawl inside, avoid her problems for a little while longer. Surely everything would be fine if they just ignored it, right? 

“Why?! Why should I shut up? This is such bullshit and you know it! Just tell me what I’m doing wrong, Frank.” He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to explain why she had gotten so cold around him, why she hated skyping every night, why she so often left his texts unanswered. She didn’t respond. “WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!” 

The desperation in his voice made something crack inside of her. The walls were down and the tears streamed down her face. “I DON’T KNOW, OKAY?! I don’t...I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t love you, Matt, I do it’s just…” 

“Just what?!” 

“I don’t know!!!”

“That’s not a fucking answer Frank.” 

“Just...I can’t do this anymore.” She sat on the edge of the bed shaking her head, the tears splashing onto the carpet below her. She hated herself more than ever before. She hated everything she had become in that moment. She hated how much she was hurting this boy in front of her. 

“So that’s it, then?”

“What?” 

“We’re breaking up, aren’t we?” She looked up at him and saw that his cheeks were also wet, but there was something else in his eyes. Anger. Pure and white hot. 

She nodded cautiously. 

He looked around wildly and grabbed his bag, storming out in one swift motion. The slam of the door made her cringe. She crumpled down onto her pillow and cried until she wasn’t sure she had any more tears left.

***

A few hours later Frances was awoken by the door once again opening and slamming. She had cried herself into a dreamless sleep. She looked at the clock and saw that it was 3am, and her roommates had apparently just gotten home from the party. Chad, who played Benvolio, and Veronica, the assistant stage manager, had become fast friends during the rehearsal process. They were always in each other’s rooms and out in the common area gossipping while Frances kept to herself.

She looked around the room blearily, her light still on and the ceiling fan spinning lazily above her. She caught her reflection in the mirror and snorted. Her entire face was swollen from crying, her eyes were red, her hair was matted against her face. She looked atrocious. She grabbed her phone but there were no texts from Matt. She had no idea where he had gone or when she would see him again. She had never seen him so angry. 

Without thinking her fingers navigated her phone to the facebook messenger app and she pulled up her conversation with Taylor. 

_Frances Brooks: You awake?_

She stared at the screen for a few minutes before letting her phone fall back down to the bed. She heard Chad and Veronica in the next room, still talking and giggling. She heaved herself up from her bed and padded down the hall to where they were huddled on Chad’s bed together, talking about a cute boy who showed up at the party that neither of them had seen before. She stood in the doorway until they noticed her. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Chad said, seeing the broken girl in front of him. Frank knew he called everyone baby, but the term of endearment nearly knocked her over. She started crying again. 

“Oh God, Frances, what’s wrong?!” Veronica rushed to her side and pulled her down onto the bed, letting her cry. Chad gently rubbed her back until she had calmed down enough to talk and she recounted the whole story for them. They didn’t interject or laugh or roll their eyes. They just listened until it was all out of Frank’s system. They fell asleep in a heap in Chad’s bed and slept late into the morning. 

When Frank woke up she wriggled herself out from between her castmates and tiptoed back to her room. She checked her phone and saw, once again, no texts from her now ex-boyfriend. _Ex-boyfriend_. She hated how it sounded in her head. 

“Ex-boyfriend,” she whispered, trying it out on her tongue. The taste of the words made her nauseous. 

Her phone buzzed in her hands. 

_Taylor Hanson: I was asleep! What’s up, buddy?_


	12. What's In A Name?

#### 

Chapter Twelve - Bella 

Bella had always been a light sleeper. She was prone to long bouts of insomnia and worse; nights like this when her brain wouldn’t turn off. The sun was beginning to rise, casting the bedroom in a dusty grey hue that made the shadows seem like they were going into hiding.

She looked over at Taylor, sprawled out and snoring softly into his pillow. They hadn’t spent a single night apart since…

She pushed the lingering thought of that night in the booth from her head and rolled carefully toward the warm body beside her. She pushed her fingers gently through his hair, half-hoping he’d wake up and give her something to do besides wait for the alarm to sound. Instead, he stirred a bit, then turned away, too locked in dreamland to be bothered.

She sighed and tried not to be annoyed. 

Trying to get back to sleep was no use. Bella rolled carefully out of bed and tiptoed to the kitchen to start the coffee maker. She had just pressed the start button when she heard a buzzing sound behind her.

Startled, she scanned the area for the source of the sound. She moved into the living room and found Taylor’s phone on the coffee table, buzzing away with a call from an unknown number. 

Bella almost left it alone.

She almost left the phone sitting where she found it, buzzing and filled with private information. Almost.

She took the phone in her hand and pressed the button, lighting up the screen filled with notification banners: the missed call, a text from Zac and a reminder about a meeting at 10am. She pressed again. The phone prompted her to enter a passcode. Without giving it another thought, she tried Taylor’s birthday. 

No luck. 

She tried ‘0000’. Nothing. She thought for a moment, then sighed and entered her own birthday. The phone opened up like a treasure box, giving her a rush she hadn’t anticipated.

She knew she shouldn’t snoop. Still, the temptation was strong. And what could Taylor possibly have to hide? He told her everything about everything. Didn’t he?

She let her thumbs hover over the screen for a few seconds. She didn’t even know where to begin. She figured there was no harm in reading a text message from Zac. She clicked confidently on the little green icon and selected the message at the top.

_where do you keep your mayo_

She chuckled a little at the absurdity of snooping to learn about Zac’s condiment preferences. The little buzz of anxiety she’d felt deep in her chest had started to subside. Of course, Taylor wouldn’t have anything to hide. She knew him inside and out. There was nothing he would even remotely consider keeping from her.

She left his messages and clicked the Facebook Messenger app. She felt instantly like she’d been hit by a battering ram in the gut. 

She opened the message at the top, trying to control the rageful tunnel vision that was taking over. 

Frank.

_He’s been talking to Frank._

He never mentioned once that he’d spoken with her, let alone that they had formed a friendship. A flirtatious one. One where they shared things about their lives. 

Bella felt like she could break the phone in two with her bare hands. She wanted to shake Taylor out of his happy little dream and scream at him until she felt better. She scrolled through the entire conversation, formulating a plan of action. Yes, shaking him would feel good. But she had a better idea. 

She would wait.

Wait for him to come out into the living room. Wait for him to saunter over and try to give her a good-morning kiss. Wait for him to ask what was the matter. Wait for him to walk right into the storm she felt raging inside her.

***

“What do you want, Bella? What will it take for you to believe me?”

Taylor’s cheeks were flushed and he gestured wildly around the room. Bella watched, calm and cross-legged from the sofa. She hadn’t raised her voice once since Taylor’s defensive rant began. She felt proud of herself; delighted that she was the sensible one in the spat.

“Tay...why should I believe anything you say when you’ve been sneaking around behind my back?” she asked, keeping her voice low and steady. She glared down her nose at him and watched him squirm. She relished the sight of this beautiful creature grovelling at her feet. 

“Bella, I was just being friendly…”

“Is that what you call it?”

“I...just....tell me what you want.” 

Tears were gathering in his eyes and he was a step away from falling to his knees and begging. Bella figured he’d suffered enough. 

“Tell me that you don’t want anyone else but me,” she said, dropping her feet to the floor and leaning forward. 

She watched his face change from despair to resolve. He dropped to the floor before her, taking her hands in his. She felt like his clear blue eyes could see directly into her darkest parts and quickly threw up a wall to stop him. 

It was no use. Her heart was already melted.

“Be my girlfriend, Bella.”

“What?” 

“You heard me. No more friends-with-benefits, no more guessing where we stand and no more letting people talk about what may or may not be going on with us. Let’s make it official. Be my girlfriend.”

Bella was powerless against the smile that spread across her face. She felt like squealing, like jumping onto the sofa like Tom Cruise and making a complete fool of herself. She wanted to celebrate like the winner she was. Instead, she took a deep breath and looked purposefully into the eyes of her first-place trophy.

“Of course I’ll be your girlfriend, Taylor.” 

He returned her smile and pulled her to him, holding her tightly.

“I love you, Bella,” he gushed. “Only you.”

Bella hugged him tightly and put her lips to his ear.

“You better.”


	13. Thinking Makes it So

#### 

Chapter Thirteen - Taylor 

“Fifteen to places.” 

Taylor smirked to himself as Bella’s voice chirped over the intercom, telling the actors and musicians to start wrapping up their preparations, take their final deep breaths, and take their spots in the wings. They were now in the middle of their second weeks of shows, and things were starting to settle in after an adrenaline fueled opening weekend. Taylor loved being a part of the summer rep shows at OCP. The runs were long, allowing the productions to breathe, and the company always became a fascinating microcosm of reality where everything was heightened and no matter how old he got, it always felt like summer camp. 

He came out of the green room to make his way down to the pit when he saw a flash of copper hair emerge from the women’s dressing room down the hall. He hadn’t heard from Frank since their last facebook exchange the morning after Greg’s party. He had just assumed that she was busy having a good time with her boyfriend. Matt seemed like a cool guy, Taylor supposed. He had snuck a few glances over to them at the party and he was always smiling and making conversation with whoever was around him. Frank had looked miserable, but Taylor knew that parties weren’t really her scene. 

He sincerely hoped that Frances and Matt had a nice time together, and seeing as he hadn’t heard anything from her in at least four days, he assumed they had. Good for them, Taylor thought to himself. He knew the awkward proposal story, and knew that Matt had had trouble letting Frank go all the way to Oklahoma. He was glad they had worked through some stuff and come out the other side stronger than ever. Frank deserved to be happy. He wanted her to be happy. 

He followed her backstage, hoping to just say hi, and maybe tell her the good news about him and Bella. She was always ready before anyone else, and usually he caught her peeking from the wings at around 10 to places. He could see her from his place in the pit and they would wave to each other. 

“Frank,” he whispered, causing her to jump and whirl around quickly. 

“Oh! Hey…” 

He couldn’t help but detect a sadness in her eyes. He had to admit, she had been on fire the last few performances, leaving everything she had on the stage. Her death scene had made tears spring to his eyes a couple times. 

“Just...I um...I haven’t talked to you in a few days. How’s Matt? Is he still here?” 

“We broke up,” she said candidly, without a flinch. 

“Oh shit.” Well I won’t be announcing my relationship status now, he thought to himself. He was sure that the last thing she wanted to hear was how he and Bella were now official. 

“Yeah. It’s good though, it’s...it’s fine.” 

“Are you sure?” 

She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Um yeah, I’m sure, Taylor.” 

He took a breath in to respond but was interrupted by Bella, whisking by in a hurry as she did all of her pre-show checks. “Five to places!” She announced into her headset. 

“Thank you, five,” Frank responded monotonously. 

Taylor felt a playful slap on his ass and couldn’t help but smirk. 

“Get down to the pit!” Bella teased as she flitted away, making her way up to the booth for the performance. 

“Well I guess that’s my cue,” Taylor said to Frank, who rolled her eyes again. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just...I’m just trying to get ready.” 

“Oh, right. Okay. Well...um...break a leg, Frankie.” 

He heaved a deep sigh as he made his way down to the pit, frustrated with how badly the conversation had just gone. Maybe he could catch her on facebook later that night. They could talk and hide behind their screens, where the conversation always flowed more freely than in person.

***

The show went well that night, which wasn’t completely surprising. The summer repertoire at OCP was a well oiled machine, and once the production was up and running, barring an emergency, it was always a pretty consistent run. Taylor watched from the pit as the story unfolded, just like it did every night. He could tell that Frank was angry or upset; Mercutio was exceptionally aggressive. He wished he could chalk it up to her break up, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was mad at him for some reason. He knew that trying to confront her after the show would be pointless, and that she could easily ignore him if he messaged her on facebook that night. As he finished up the curtain music, he decided to get up early the next morning and go to the coffee shop down the street, where he knew Frank would be sitting, peacefully reading her book on the patio.

The next morning he rushed to turn off his alarm before Bella stirred. He gathered his things and got dressed and headed out into the June morning, the sun not yet high enough to make the air sweltering. It actually felt incredible out, he noted. Nice and cool. Almost enough to make him get up and appreciate mornings more often. There was a whole world out here! He laughed to himself, knowing that he would never become a morning person. But today he was on a mission. 

He ordered his iced americano and plopped himself at a table on the patio, after scanning all the tables for a copper braid. _Must have beat her here_ , he thought to himself, strangely proud of his ability to wake up and get going for the day. He unsheathed his laptop and opened it, checking his email and scanning over the performance report Bella sent last night. It was all business as usual, perfectly formatted and organized. She was great at her job, he couldn’t deny that. He switched over to facebook and started scrolling through the newsfeed. 

A shadow fell across the table and he looked up, a smile immediately forming on his face when he saw who it was. 

“You’re up early.” 

Frank took a seat at the table and got out her book, hiking her knees up under her chin. The sun was casting a golden glow on her face and her hair was falling down around her shoulders. Taylor couldn’t help but notice how lovely she looked in the morning light. 

“You look nice,” he stated before he could stop himself. 

“Shut up.” 

Taylor snorted. He knew of her inability to take compliments. They had discussed it in length when he told her how talented she was. He still was amazed at how much they had talked about in such a short time. And all over facebook messenger. She was just so easy to talk to. 

“Fine,” he said, putting his hands up in mock exasperation. 

“Why are you here so early?” 

“I wanted to get some work done.” 

“Oh right, all that important facebook work.” 

Taylor let out a loud chuckle which made Frank’s face finally twitch into a smile. Maybe she wasn’t mad. She wouldn’t sit down with him if she was mad, right? He wanted to pry, to ask her what was up, but she already had her nose in her book. Maybe he should just leave it. Just sit there with her, like friends. Friends who just hang out together sometimes. _Yeah_ , he thought, _I can do that._


	14. Be Rough With Love

#### Chapter Fourteen - Zac

After over a week of living solo in his brother’s apartment, Zac had expended all the alone time he could stomach. He needed to get out and make some friends or find a hobby. Something that would make him feel less pathetic.

When he’d heard the news of Taylor and Bella’s official status, he’d taken it well. In fact, he thought it might be helping him get over his silly crush on Bella all together. He had certainly spent less time staring at her or trying to think up reasons to speak to her. Without Bella occupying his every thought, he’d found he needed a new filler.

It was Sunday morning and call time wasn’t until 1:00pm. He grabbed an apple and a Coke from the fridge, pulled on his backpack and headed toward the theatre. He figured he could kill time playing on his phone in the booth or wandering uncharted hallways in the operahouse. 

He liked to get there early because it meant he never needed to rush his pre-show duties. It also meant he could mingle with cast members and hear all the latest dirt; who was mad and whom, who got caught making out in the director’s office and whose reputations were being skewered that week. He was so far removed from it all that the gossip became recreational for him. 

When he arrived at the theatre, he was surprised by the number of cars in the parking lot. Once inside, it became clear that there was some kind of tour happening. The Artistic Director was leading a pack of suit-clad, silver-haired men through the lobby. He was pointing out the signage for _Romeo & Juliet_ and spouting statistics about ticket sales so far. 

Zac slipped passed them with his head down and popped into the booth, expecting to have to flip on the light. Instead, the booth was fully lit and Bella was standing in front of the lighting board, looking down at the stage. 

He thought about sneaking out before she noticed him, but as he turned to leave, the door slammed closed behind him. Bella spun around sharply.

“Oh! It’s just you,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Those were the first words she’d spoken to him in over a week that weren’t spotlight cues. He was jolted by the rush it gave him. He froze, unsure of what to do with the feeling. She went back to what she was doing and he took a moment to recover.

“I...uh...I was just gonna start set up.” 

“It’s really early, Zac.”

She didn’t even look up at him. He walked over to his usual place, behind the follow spot and set his bag down carefully, like another sudden noise might make Bella angry. He busied himself, uncovering the equipment and setting up his cue sheets. He worked in silence for what seemed like an eternity, until the group from the lobby appeared on stage.

“Who are those guys?” he asked, not expecting an answer.

“Board members,” Bella said, watching them as they crossed the set, inspecting each corner and detail. “They wanted a walk-through today and we didn’t know until about 11:30 last night.”

Zac was caught off guard by her conversational tone. She had given him the silent treatment for so long and now it was like it had never happened. He didn’t know how he would do it, but he wanted to keep her talking. His thoughts swirled around manically and he tried to grasp just one to use in response.

“They look like assholes.” 

He immediately felt like a complete and total fool. Of all the things he could say in that moment, this was the one that fell out of his mouth? He was about to pick up his backpack and walk out, never to return when he heard Bella giggle.

He looked up at her to see that she was smiling. He’d made her laugh. He couldn’t believe it. He let himself chuckle along, albeit tentatively.

“They are…” she shrugged at him. “Assholes, I mean. But they’re rich assholes and they keep us all employed so…”

“So if they want an early-morning, super last minute tour, they get it.” 

They shared another laugh and Zac felt some deeply-hidden tension release in his chest. He wondered how long this moment would last. He searched his reeling brain again for something, anything to say. She beat him to it.

“Did you ever find the mayo?”

“What?”

“You couldn’t find the mayo at Tay’s place.”

“Ummm...yeah, I did actually. Did he...tell you that?”

“Uh huh.”

“Well, he’s never there anymore…

“Sorry about that.”

“No! I mean, it’s fine...I was just….”

“This is weird, huh?” Bella’s question came out of nowhere. Zac hadn’t been prepared for anything even remotely acknowledging their… situation.

“What’s weird?” he asked, despite knowing the answer. 

“This. Us.” She was looking right at him now, her full attention on his every move. So he didn’t move.

“No. I mean...yeah.”

“You can tell the truth, Zac. I know I feel like its weird.” 

He felt like he was the caught somehow, like an actor in his follow spot with nowhere to hide from the light. Where was she going with this? He was afraid to find out. He felt cornered and that made him want to lash out in defense.

“Well, I kissed my brother’s girlfriend so, yeah, that’s gonna make things weird,” he spat, unable to stop himself.

“Right…” she said, narrowing her gaze at him. He knew he’d pushed a button and it made him feel empowered.

“I wouldn’t take it back though.”

For the quickest of seconds, Bella looked like she’d been knocked off kilter. She regained her composure nearly instantly but he’d seen the mask dropped. He knew he’d gotten to her. He was sweating from the exhilaration of it all.

She looked back down at the now-vacant stage. He watched her deliberately fold her arms and tilt her head to the side. He held his breath and braced for her reaction.

“Me either,” she said, just above a whisper.

Her words were like a huge glass of water after a long run and they were all Zac needed to be right back where he started. He smiled to himself and went back to his set up.


	15. As Schoolboys From Their Books

#### 

Chapter Fifteen - Frank 

After a week of particularly emotional shows, Frances welcomed the day off with open arms. She was exhausted, and planned on staying in bed and watching Netflix all day. She had poured every negative emotion she felt into her character for the past seven shows. Mercutio was becoming progressively more reckless - dripping with the kind of wild abandon that you only feel after your heart is broken and you have completely lost the wherewithal to care anymore. 

The frustrating thing was that Frances even felt heart broken at all. She had wanted this. She resented Matt from the moment he proposed to her, and knew in her heart that by the end of the summer they would be broken up. So why was she so angry? 

She laid on her bed, the sunlight streaming into her bedroom, allowing herself to balance on the precipice between waking and dreaming. There was a roadblock inside of her and she didn’t know why, and it was driving her crazy. The only time she felt the least bit unblocked was the two hours she spent on stage every Wednesday through Sunday. 

She had never been great at expressing her feelings. Even in college, when she was surrounded by huge personalities and overbearing theatre professors, she never let anyone in. She had always been hyper focused, choosing to spend time in a dance studio well into the night nailing down every moment, every nuance of her performance rather than going to a theme party at someone’s house downtown. She didn’t have many friends, but she was revered in the department for her breathtaking performances, overflowing with all the emotions she stored up in her every day life, pouring them out on stage for the world to see.

Emotional roadblocks were not a new experience for her. But this one felt different for some reason. Aching. 

She sighed and readjusted herself on her pillows, pulling her comforter up to her chin. She was angry; that’s what she kept coming back to. She was angry at Matt for coming to Oklahoma in the first place. She was angry at Taylor for still being so nice to her. She was angry at Bella for starting unfounded rumors about her during rehearsal. She was angry at the whole situation but it all boiled down to the fact that she was angry at herself for opening facebook three days after the break up, and right at the top of her newsfeed was a declaration that she couldn’t pretend not to see. 

_Taylor Hanson and Bella Bailey are in a relationship._

She was angry at her stomach for feeling like it had been punched. She was angry at her heart rate for quickening its pace. She was angry at her eyes for watering involuntarily. 

She had no right to be upset by this news. She didn’t deserve to feel any kind emotion, let alone a negative one. So she stuffed it down deeper inside of her and decided to deal with it some other time. Then a couple days later Taylor had showed up at the coffee shop bright and early, despite claiming he was the opposite of a morning person, and she saw him drenched in sunlight as she emerged onto the patio. 

_Fuck, I like him, don’t I?_ She had thought to herself before she could stop her brain from forming the thought. _Excellent timing, Frank._

***

After being so excited for the day off, Frank was having a terrible time alone with her thoughts. She spent a few hours in bed tossing and turning and trying to focus on a stupid sitcom, when finally she gave up hope. She pulled on a t-shirt and shorts, threw her hair up in a sloppy ponytail, and headed out the front door with no real destination in mind. She started walking aimlessly, taking deep breaths as she went along, trying to turn the day around in her mind.

She wandered into the coffee shop and got an iced coffee and bagel to go, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to focus on anything if she sat down to read or play on her phone. She realized quickly that the walk was exactly what she needed, even if she didn’t know where exactly she was going. It was just nice to explore, seeing as her entire existence for the past few weeks had been relegated to the actor condo and the theatre. 

She cut through a park, walked down a street full of quaint shops, peered into windows, until she found herself at a sprawling bookstore. 

“Whoa,” she said out loud, as she looked down at the endless rows of books. 

“Welcome to Dragonfly Books!” she heard a voice behind the counter chirp. She looked over and saw it belonged to a surprisingly young woman with short brown hair and bright, colorful accessories. Her nails were painted all different colors and her earrings jangled playfully when she moved even the slightest bit. 

“...Hi,” Frank replied cautiously. “This...this store is amazing.” 

“Thanks! We love it,” the girl said proudly. “I’m Delia, if you need anything. Just let me know!” 

“Okay, cool. Um. I don’t know where to even start!” 

“Yeah it’s huge. But fiction is over there. You look like a fiction person.” 

Frances smiled and nodded, wandering over to the shelves Delia had pointed out. She was positive that she could get lost in this place forever. 

She perused the books for a few moments before she heard the jangling again, coming up behind her. 

“Are you new in town?” Delia asked. In any other context, Frances might have been annoyed, but this girl seemed genuinely interested. It was a breath of fresh air after spending all of her time exclusively with theatre people. 

“Um, kind of. I work at Oklahoma City Playhouse.” 

“Oh, cool! I know some people there. Are you in the production right now?” 

“Yeah! _Romeo and Juliet_.” 

“Oh my God! Are you Jules?!”

Frances giggled at Delia’s nickname for one of the most iconic female roles in history. 

“Nah, I’m not Jules. I’m Mercutio.” 

“Whoa, gender bending, very cool. I should come see it!” 

“Yeah, you should! Anyway so yeah, I guess I’m new in town. I live in New York.” 

“City?!” 

Frances laughed again. “Yes, city.”

“I’ve never been. I would love to go. I’ve read so much about it,” Frances watched as Delia got swept up in a quick daydream and then plunged back down to reality. “Anyway, sorry. I’ll let you look.” 

“It’s okay! I’m just browsing.” 

Delia scurried away and Frances resumed looking through the shelves, just happy to be away from her apartment and inundated with the smell of books. She picked up a few and leafed through the pages, before settling on one she had been meaning to buy for months. 

She wandered around the store until she found a bench to sit on. She tucked some wisps of hair behind her ears and began reading. 

“Welcome to Dragonfly...oh, hey!” She heard Delia at the front of the store, clearly excited to see a regular come in. 

“Hey D!” Frances heard the regular respond. The voice sounded somewhat familiar, but she couldn’t place it. She went back to her reading while the two friends chattered excitedly up front. 

A few minutes later, she heard footsteps coming towards her bench and she looked up to see Bella, a determined look on her face, make her way to the non-fiction section. Before she could dive behind her book, Bella saw her sitting there and they locked eyes. Frances wondered if they would agree, without speaking, to carry on as if they hadn't seen each other, but Bella had already stopped and was looking like she was trying to come up with something to say. 

“So you know Delia?” 

“Yeah, we went to high school together.” 

“She’s really sweet.” 

A few seconds passed, both of them looking at the other awkwardly. Outside the theatre, the illusion of hierarchy was lost. They were just two girls in a bookstore. 

“How’s that book? I’ve been meaning to read it,” Bella said.

“It’s great so far! I mean I just started it. I’ll probably buy it when I’m done here, then you can borrow it when I finish reading.” 

Frank had no idea that Bella loved reading or that she also would choose to spend her day off in a bookstore. Maybe they weren’t so different after all. Maybe they could even be friends. After all, she didn’t want to lose Taylor, and two friends were better than none, right? 

“Hey um...Bella?” she said as Bella started walking away towards the nearest stack of books. 

“Yeah?” 

“When you’re done looking...wanna get lunch? We could show each other what we bought because...well I know I’m about to spend way too much money.” 

Bella chuckled and nodded. “Sure, Frank.”


	16. It Pricks Like A Thorn

#### 

Chapter Sixteen - Bella 

It always felt good to get back to work. Bella had never cared much for time off and walking back into the theatre that morning for a new week of shows made her feel revived. The past two days had been odd, to say the least. 

Somehow, she’d found herself enjoying Frank’s company at their impromptu lunch date. If she was being honest with herself, she had only agreed to go because she figured it would be fun to rub her new relationship status in Frank’s face a bit. Instead, Frank was warm, open and asked a lot of questions. She made a genuine effort to get to know Bella, which made her endearing. Bella actually liked Frank.

And that made hating her a lot more difficult.

The next day, Frank had texted her, sharing the name and author of a few books she loved. Bella had been shocked to find herself smiling at the thoughtfulness of it. She changed the contact name from Frances to Frank in her phone and resigned herself to the fact that they might actually become friends. 

Besides, the only way to be sure there was nothing going on between this new friend and her boyfriend was to keep both of them very close.

Bella made her way into the front office to pick up her mail, saying a quick hello to the staff members as they started their day. She sifted through the stack of junk and office memos, barely paying attention to where she was walking. She had walked this hallway a millions times; she didn’t need to see where she was going.

The sudden force of the collision was so great, she thought someone might have built a new wall in front of her. Her mail went airborne and her chin hit something sharp; her vision blurred from the impact and she felt her temper flare. She might have fallen backward, but for the arms around her that caught her as she teetered. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!” 

She looked up to see that the wall she had hit was actually a person. Zac looked mortified as he quickly released her from his embrace. She must have looked like a volcano about to erupt because he started backing away, his hands up in defense. 

“It’s...fine,” she said, taking a deep breath. She didn’t need to lose her mind over an accident. “Were you _running_ around that corner or what?” She tried a half-chuckle to relieve some of the tension. She could see Zac’s whole body relax.

“Nope, I’m just an idiot who never watches where he’s going,” he laughed. “Bella...you’re...come here, you’re bleeding.”

He reached for her chin but she jerked away and put her hands up to feel the wound. Sure enough, she felt a twinge of pain and the telltale liquid warmth of blood.

“I must have hit it on your phone,” she sighed with an eyeroll. He looked down at the iPhone still in his hands then gave her puppy-dog stare that made her weak instead of angry. 

“I’m so sorry. Can I get you a bandaid? Or do you think you need a doctor? What about stitches?”

“Is it that bad?” she asked, trying not to seem panicked. “I’m going to the restroom to clean this up.”

“Can I help?”

“In the ladies room? Zac, no! It’s fine.”

“You sure…?”

“Yes! Go away now!” She tried not to smile at his concern for her. She couldn’t give him the satisfaction. Anyway, had it been someone else who’d clumsily slammed into her and bloodied her chin, there would have been hell to pay.

He bowed his head and lumbered away, obediently, looking back a few times in case she changed her mind. She found herself fighting a smile again and rushed into the lobby bathroom to regroup.

What was the matter with her? She didn’t mean to have little butterflies flitting around her stomach, but she couldn’t control them. She leaned on the counter and looked into the mirror at her gashed chin.

It wasn’t nearly as bad as she pictured, but it hurt like crazy. She wetted a paper towel and pressed it to the wound, which stung. Still, her reflection was grinning back at her; the butterflies starting their tummy dance again.

“What’s got you so smiley?”

Bella hadn’t heard the door open, nor had she noticed Frank enter.

“What? Oh, uh...nothing...just…” she stammered, as if she’d been thinking aloud. 

“Oh my god, what happened?” Frank moved closer to inspect her face.

“It looks worse than it is, really. I just….I hit it on...someone...thing...something.”

“Okay…”

“It’s fine, Frank, really. I have bandaids in my kit in the booth.”

“You truly think of everything,” Frank said with a genuine smile. “I hope someday I’m half as good at something as you are at your job.”

“Oh please! You’re the most talented actor in this show,” Bella blurted, surprising herself. She purposefully never doled out compliments because she hated how smug people would get. She reserved her compliments for only the most deserving people in the most appropriate and candid situations. Bleeding in a bathroom with a girl she barely knew was not what she would deem appropriate.

“Wow…” Frank looked at the floor, her amber locks, falling in front of her face, masking her blush. “That means a lot coming from you, Bella. Thank you.”

_The girl knows exactly what to say_ , Bella though, smirking. She turned back to the mirror, tending to her now-throbbing chin.

“Make sure you check your line notes before the first show today. You missed a few words on Sunday night. I’m sure I’m the only one that noticed...but...ya know.” 

Bella could feel all the pride Frank felt from her praise deflate in an instant. She was right back where Bella liked all of her friendships: completely within her control.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll see you later then.”

“Hey, you wanna have lunch with Tay and me between shows? We’re getting Mexican.”

Bella shot her a saccharine smile and watched Frank’s face light up. She nodded and practically skipped out of the restroom. Bella knew that she was mostly excited because Taylor would be there. They would chatter and chirp all through lunch and Bella would watch and take careful mental notes, interjecting with a showy kiss or caress to make Frank squirm. 

Once the bleeding stopped, she gave herself a once over in the mirror. The cut was red and swollen, but it made her think of Zac’s blushing face and his arms around her. She felt warm all over and the butterflies surged again.

She felt dangerous. 

She took out her phone and snapped a flattering selfie of her banged-up chin and sent it to Zac. 

_You really did a number on me…_

She waited patiently for his reply. 

_im still so sorry…._   
_and youre still beautiful so_

Bella blushed so hard it made her chin hurt. She knew she shouldn’t feel the way she did. She knew it was wrong to be texting her boyfriend’s brother. Still, the rush was so good, she didn’t think she could stop. She gathered her things and headed to the booth.

What Taylor didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.


	17. Give Thy Thoughts No Tongue

#### 

Chapter Seventeen - Taylor 

“That was the worst summer of my life!” Taylor recounted, draining his beer to emphasize the end of the story. The whole table was laughing at the detailed recap he had given of his first summer at OCP, when they had done Midsummer and everything had gone wrong on opening night. 

Bella squeezed his leg under the table. “It was not! You had fun after the worst opening night in OCP history.” 

Taylor motioned towards the server who was clearing glasses from their table, signalling for another round. He was happy to be at the bar with a good chunk of the cast, blowing off steam and swapping stories about summers past. Plus, he felt as though the dust had finally settled around himself, Bella, and Frank. All three of them were there, sitting around this table, laughing and drinking and having a good time. Bella, who only a few days prior had seemed threatened by Frank, was now giving her knowing glances across the table as though they were old friends. It bewildered Taylor, but he wasn’t going to fight it. He was relieved with the new development. 

As the night wore on, the group became smaller and smaller, until it was just a handful of them scattered around the table. Bella took her leave, giving Taylor a dramatic kiss and telling him to come home when he was ready. After she had trotted off, he felt someone slide into the chair next to him. He looked up from his beer and saw that it was Frank. 

“Frankie!” He proclaimed. 

“Hi!” She responded amidst a wave of giggles which made Taylor’s heart do that weird, flippy thing it so often did when she was around. 

“I’m so glad you’re here!” 

“Me too!”

Taylor drained yet another beer and slammed the glass down on the table, making Frank jump and then giggle furiously yet again. 

“You guys seem really happy,” Frances said thoughtfully after her laughter had subsided. 

“Who?” 

“You and Bella, ya weirdo!” 

“Oh...yeah I guess!”

“You guess?!” 

“Yeah I mean...I don’t know, I’ve never really thought of Bella and I lasting past the summer. Any summer. But this is the first time we’ve been _official_ ,” he said, emphasizing the last word and pulling a silly face. He knew he probably shouldn’t be talking about this stuff, especially with another girl, but he had had a lot of beer and Frank was the easiest person to talk to in the whole world as far as he was concerned. He never had a problem spilling his guts to her, even if no alcohol was involved. “But it seems as though you two are getting along now?” 

“Oh...yeah! She’s cool! We have more in common than I thought.” 

“Like what? Do you want another drink?” 

“No I’m good.” 

“I’m drunk, Frankie!” 

“I know you are, Taylor! I’m gonna get you some water.” 

“No, you don’t have to do that.” 

“Yeah, I think I do. Sit tight.” She hopped down from the stool and scurried to the bar. He watched as she asked for two cups of water and smiled when she turned around, expertly carrying them in one hand.

“You’re so good at that!” Taylor remarked with genuine awe. 

“At what? Carrying water? You’re so weird.” 

“I would drop them.” 

“I have been working at restaurants since high school. I can also roll silverware and carry a tray of hot food, wanna see?” 

“YES!” 

“I was kidding, Taylor.” 

“Ugh, I should probably go home.” 

“To Bella’s?” 

“I just can’t see it lasting, ya know?” He continued, unprompted. “We fight a lot, we always have, that’s always been like...our thing.” 

“Do you still fight? Even though you’re _official_ now?” Frank asked, mimicking his face from earlier.

“Oh yeah. Probably more so, honestly.” He took a gulp of water. “Hey, are you okay? Here I am babbling about myself. Since the break up...you doing okay?” 

“Me? Yeah. I’m fine.” 

“You’re a fortress.”

“Oh, I’m aware. Nah, I’m okay. Matt and I...probably just should have stayed roommates.” 

“Were you in love with him?” 

Frank sighed deeply. “No, I don’t think so. Sucks to realize that.” 

“Yeah it does.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Frank hopped up from the table, announcing that she should get home and go to bed. 

“Let me walk you home, it’s late,” Taylor suggested, and Frank nodded her head in agreement. 

They walked slowly towards actor housing, the night air cool on their skin. They continued talking until they reached the front door of the condo. The porchlight made Frank’s hair shine, and Taylor once again felt his heart do the flippy thing that he had been trying so hard to control all night. 

“Night, Frankie.” He gave her a hug, squeezing her tightly. She pulled away and looked up at him, their faces only inches apart. In some other timeline, where he wasn’t tied to Bella, and he hadn’t had the walk to sober him up a little, and he could get his heart to stop thumping wildly...he would have kissed her.

***

Taylor quietly made his way into the apartment, where he found Bella, still awake, laying in bed reading.

“Hey,” he said, diving into bed without bothering to take off any clothes or brush his teeth. “You’re still up.” 

“Yeah, I started reading and couldn’t stop.” 

Taylor leaned over and kissed her cheek. He couldn’t help but feel like she flinched away from it. But on the other hand, he couldn’t exactly blame her. He had just had thoughts of kissing another girl, one who he had just walked home from the bar. Maybe Bella had picked up on that in the few moments since he walked inside. It seemed impossible, but stranger things had happened. 

“You okay?” He asked. 

“I’m fine. Night, Tay.” She set her book down on nightstand and flipped the light off, turning away from him and shutting her eyes.


	18. The Guilty Mind

#### 

Chapter Eighteen - Zac

The show seemed to go on forever. Zac had become accustomed to watching it over and over again, but this particular performance felt like it was three times as long as normal. He shifted on his stool, knowing he had several pages before his next cue. He struggled to stay focused on the play, fighting against his wandering mind.

Last night had been unbelievable. 

He’d turned in early, opting to spend some time with his XBox instead of heading to the bar with the rest of the company. He didn’t feel up to watching Bella and Taylor drool all over each other and he definitely didn’t feel like being pawed at by desperate chorus girls. 

He’d stripped down to his boxers and tshirt, grabbed a bag of chips and settled in front of the TV, when his phone buzzed. A text from Bella. 

They had been playing at this messy banter for a few days and, while the words were innocent, the subtext was not. And he did feel bad. He felt guilty for participating and, in most cases, instigating their more flirtatious chats. He felt like a monster, knowing that she was dating his brother. Still, the way she made him feel was undeniable. It was like he was drunk or on drugs, chasing the next high no matter the cost. He was addicted.

When she asked him to meet her at her place, all the bad thoughts had vanished. He’d fallen over trying to get his jeans on and hadn’t even locked the door behind him. He didn’t even remember how he got there.

What he did remember was the way she’d dragged him into the apartment, letting the door slam shut behind him. He remembered the way she’d launched herself at him, kissing him like she needed it to live. He remember the pulses of electricity she’d sent coursing through him with every flick of her tongue.

He hadn’t questioned it or tried to speak. He gave himself over to the moment; his fix. They’d ended up on the sofa, wound together like knots, hands furiously pulling and grabbing and searching. They’d made out for hours, driving each other crazy with the boundaries they knew they couldn’t cross. 

“Keep it over the clothes,” she’d whispered, guiding his hands away from the button on her pants. He’d never been more aroused or more frustrated and it was enthralling. He forgot about everything except their bodies and the heat they were making.

“Spot go!” 

Zac was jolted from his mental replay by Bella’s voice in his headset. He rushed to focus and switch the spotlight on, nearly missing the first words of the nurse’s big moment. 

“Sorry…” he whispered into the headset. He knew he wouldn’t get an answer. He brushed the sweat that had formed on his forehead and kept the follow spot steady, despite his pounding heart. 

As he waited for his next cue, he became hyper-conscious of his brother’s score providing the soundtrack for his thoughts. What would Taylor do if he knew what had happened while he was at the bar? 

The possibility that something that made him so happy could destroy Taylor was too heavy for him. He couldn’t bear it and pushed it down in a deep, dark corner of his brain where he put all the things he didn’t want to address.

Once Bella’s call came and he took the spotlight out, he went back to thinking about her hands in his hair and her lips on his. He let himself want her and ignored all the rest.

***

Courtney had been talking about her parent’s big trip to Australia since the beginning of the show’s run, so when she announced the house party she was throwing, nobody in the cast or crew was getting out of attending.

The show had finally ended and Zac had to turn off his instant replay and break down for the night. Bella had bolted from the booth after the last cue, wanting to get everything done and get to the party.

Everyone was in good spirits, excited from a good show and ready to let loose. By the time Zac made it to the lobby, people were splitting off and piling into cars, howling and laughing in the sea of headlights.

“Ride with us?” Bella asked, Taylor by her side.

“Uh...yeah,” he answered. He smiled and tried to act normal, climbing into the back seat of Bella’s car.

They drove to Courtney's house wordlessly, listening to whatever Taylor played from his phone. They arrived to find that the house was actually more like a mansion. It was lit up like a Christmas tree and there were people jammed into every room. 

“I guess she invited the whole city,” Taylor quipped as the three of them moved through the crowded foyer. 

“I’ll get us a drink,” Bella said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek and disappearing into the crowd.

Zac felt his stomach lurch, but shook it off when Taylor turned to him. 

“Lots of hot girls here, dude.”

“Yeah…” Zac feigned a laugh. He felt transparent, like there was no way that everyone at the party, including the strangers, didn’t know exactly what he was hiding. Taylor gave him a nudge and moved off somewhere leaving him alone. 

“Zachary!” The familiar voice made him cringe. He turned to find the same vapid chorus girl from Greg’s party. She was grinning at him and holding up an extra solo cup.

“Abbie, right?”

“Yes!” She squealed with delight and handed him the cup. “Here’s your drink!”

“Thanks….” he said, figuring he might as well have a drink. He suddenly wished he hadn’t come at all.

He drank while Abbie blabbered on about nothing. He hadn’t seen Bella or his brother for a while, so when he ended up on his second drink, he convinced himself that getting drunk was for the best.

The whole night became a blur of booze and loud music. The crowding had subsided a bit and Zac found himself sitting next to Abbie on a recliner while she looked up at him expectantly. Even in his drunken haze, he didn’t want her, but she was too inebriated to take a hint. He tolerated her as she whined at him about whether or not he thought she was pretty.

At last, like a vision, Bella appeared across the room from him. He didn’t see his brother anywhere. He shrugged Abbie off and made his way over.

“I’m hammered,” he said, suddenly aware he was slurring.

“Oh, same,” she chirped, giving him a dopey grin.

“Where’s Tay?”

“Dunno, probably with Frances somewhere.”

“Huh?” 

“Nevermind.” Bella took a swig from the cup she was holding and placed her other hand on his chest. Her touch sobered him a bit and he put his hand over hers. He stared at her as she teetered, her balance unreliable.

“You are....really cute right now.” He knew he shouldn’t say that aloud but his filter was compromised. She laughed and put her other hand on his chest, looking up at him with drowsy eyes.

“You are also cute right now,” she teased, moving even closer. Somehow, in a room full of people, it felt like they were all alone. 

The moment was short-lived.

“Hey everybody!” Taylor’s voice rang out over thumping bass. He was standing on the coffee table in the middle of the room, beer in hand and drenched in sweat. “Look at my girlfriend! She’s so drunk she’s hitting on my brother!”

The mood of the room shifted dramatically as people laughed at the drunken display or fled from the awkwardness. Zac felt like his blood had frozen in his veins. Bella pulled away from him and started laughing, giving Taylor a ‘cheers’ with her cup.

“Shut UP!” she shouted at him. He leapt from the table and sauntered toward her, unaware that he’s basically cleared the room. He scooped Bella up and tried to kiss her while she swatted at him playfully.

The whole thing was nauseating and Zac knew he had enough to drink that it might all come up at any moment. He wanted to leave but no longer had a ride. His head was still swimming when he caught a glimpse of Abbie, nodding off in the recliner.

He jogged over and shook her shoulders.

“Hey, did you drive here?”

“Wh...yeah!” she answered, magically revived by his presence. Her predictability was comforting.

“Drive me home?”

“Absolutely!”


	19. A Smoke Made with the Fume of Sighs

#### Chapter Nineteen - Frances 

Frances was having severe flashbacks to college. She had never been a big drinker, and whenever she did go to house parties, she ended up being the designated driver; sitting on the couch with a water bottle, wondering when she would be allowed to leave. She could easily call up memories of holding hair back and finding plastic bags for her friends that she guided into the backseat of her car in case they puked. She always marveled at people who insisted that college was the best years of their lives; a time they would happily redo. The moment she graduated, she thanked all the powers at be that she would never feel pressured into going to a stupid house party ever again.

And yet, here she was, in Courtney’s living room, sitting on the couch with a water bottle, watching full grown adults get hammered and act like college freshman. 

“Theatre people are astounding,” she muttered to herself. The only humans that could drink this group of people under the table were her restaurant coworkers, which made her chuckle. 

She had started the night off with a couple drinks but quickly switched to water when she saw Veronica and Chad taking shots. They had driven together and it didn’t take Frank long to realize that she would be driving Chad’s car back to the actor condo later that night. _Just like old times_ , she thought. She didn’t particularly mind, though. She didn’t like being drunk, because she didn’t like anyone seeing her out of control. The thought of saying things she would regret in the morning scared her, even now. 

When she got bored of the living room, she got up to stretch her legs and go to the bathroom for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. That was one of her tricks - go to the bathroom so you can have some time alone and you don’t have to talk to people for two minutes. When she got there, she knocked politely. 

“OCCUPIED!!” Someone yelled from inside. 

She leaned against the wall, waiting for her two minutes of respite, when she heard unmistakable retching coming from inside the bathroom. She flung the door open, thankful that it wasn’t locked, and rushed to the girl’s side without even thinking. 

It was Bella. 

She gathered Bella’s dark hair in her hand and grabbed a hand towel from the rack beside the sink to wipe off her chin when she came up for air. 

“Oh my God, Frank...I’m so...I’m so sorry,” Bella said between rattled breaths when she realized who it was who had burst through the bathroom door. 

“It’s okay. You think you got it all out?” 

Bella leaned against the toilet, small beads of sweat collecting on her temples. “This is so embarrassing.” 

“No, no, no, you’re fine. I can’t tell you how many times I have done this. I’m desensitized.” 

“It’s still embarrassing Frank!!” She slurred aggressively, which made Frank giggle despite herself. “I’m...just let me be sorry!” 

“Okay!! Here let’s get up and get you some water.” 

“NO. Let me stay here and die.” 

“Wow, so dramatic! You sure you’re just a stage manager?” 

“Shut up, I’m a GREAT stage manager.”

“You really are, you really are, now let’s go.”

“Not yet. Just...just sit here with me for a second?” 

Frank sighed deeply, but knew there was no use trying to move Bella just yet. “Okay. Just for a minute though then you gotta get up and get some water.” 

Bella leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes. “God. It’s no wonder Taylor is like obsessed with you, you’re a literal angel.” 

“What?!” 

“You heard me.” 

“He is not obsessed with me.” 

Bella snorted. “Keep telling yourself that, Frank.” Her head lolled to the side and Frances sat up straight, ready to help her back over to the toilet bowl. “You’re so fucking nice, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch to you.” 

“It’s fine, Bella.” 

“It is not fine! See! You’re just like _it’s fine, Bella_. But I literally started rumors about you?! For fun!” 

“It’s fine…” 

“Shut _up_ , oh my God, let me apologize. I’m sorry. You’re a great person and I suck and I hope we can be friends at some point, I don’t know.” 

“We are friends, Bella!”

“...We are?” 

“Yeah? I mean...I thought we were.” 

“Ugh, you’re so nice. Oh God.” Bella lurched towards the toilet and Frank moved quickly to gather her hair up and wipe off her chin when she was done expelling all the contents in her stomach. 

“Okay. Let’s get you out of here.”

***

“In you go, you little drunkies,” Frances teased as she guided Taylor into the backseat of Chad’s car. Chad and Veronica seemed to have no plans on leaving, so Frances had taken his keys and told them she would be back to get them in a little while, after she took Taylor and Bella home. Every person involved told her she was too nice, but she really didn’t mind being the taxi service for the remainder of the night. It was better than staying at the party and sitting there bored out of her mind.

“Frank is so nice, she is SO NICE,” Taylor announced to the car when they were all buckled in. 

“You have that bag I gave you, Tay?” She asked from the driver’s seat as she adjusted the rearview mirror. 

“Yes ma’am! Yes mom! MOM!! Frank is our mom!” 

“Gee, thanks. Okay let’s go, kiddos.” 

She drove to Bella’s apartment, checking in on Taylor and Bella whenever she found herself at a red light. She was amazed at how much they had both had to drink over the course of the night. She had never seen Taylor this drunk before. 

When they got to the apartment complex, Bella was nodding off on Taylor’s shoulder. She helped them out of the car and into the apartment, both of them giggling and threatening to fall asleep. Frank got them both big glasses of water and stayed with them until they drank at least half. 

“I’m so sorry, Frank,” Bella said as she made her way to the bed. 

“It’s fine. Trust me. It’s fine.” 

She carried the glasses of water into the bedroom and placed them on their bedside tables. 

“You’re the best, Frankie,” Taylor said as his eyes were slamming shut. “You’re just the best.” 

Frances smiled sadly and caught herself tucking a piece of golden hair behind Taylor’s ear. He was already breathing deeply, bordering on a snore. She looked down at him, frustrated with herself for the vice she felt around her stomach. Get up. Leave, she ordered herself. She knew that helping him get home and making him drink water and getting him to bed was not enough for him to feel anything for her other than gratitude. But she didn’t care. She was glad she did it. She was glad that tonight she was the last thing he thought about before he slid into sleep.


	20. This Great Stage of Fools

#### Chapter Twenty - Bella 

“You don’t think its..weird?” Zac’s question hung in the stale booth air and Bella rolled her eyes dramatically.

“What’s weird about it?”

“You don’t think that having a third person around you and your boyfriend all the time is weird?”

“She’s not around _all_ the time.”

“She IS around all the time, Bella. People are talking about it.”

“I don’t care what people think.”

“You should. It’s weird.”

“Why should it be weird? Frank and I are friends. Frank and Taylor are friends. Taylor and I are…”

“Okay, I get it. You don’t think it’s weird.”

“We’re all friends, Zachary.”

Bella watched him as he shifted in his chair, looking off in some distant direction, avoiding her glare. She’d hit a nerve. Not wanting him to be mad at her, she tapped at his knee playfully. He flinched and looked back at her, allowing a momentary glimpse of something behind his eyes; sadness, perhaps. 

“We’re all friends,” he repeated.

Bella sighed, not wanting to indulge his pity party. She knew what he was driving at, but he seemed to have forgotten that she had the keys to the car. She had no intention of allowing him to lead her down an unfamiliar road.

“New show starts rehearsals soon. I asked that you stay on as spot tech, if that’s cool.”

She watched him try not to smile and it filled her with bubbly amusement. She had the upper hand once more.

“Cool,” he replied, ruffling his hair to distract from the blush that was coloring his cheeks. 

Bella noticed that when Zac felt bashful, he looked very much like his brother. The thought made her uneasy.

“Guess I’d better start set up,” she chirped, getting up from her chair and crossing to the lightboard. “Good talk.”

She and Zac had made of habit of being early each show day, finding each other in the booth and chatting over coffee. They’d never planned it or acknowledged it was something they did. It just...was.

Their secret morning meetups were the least complicated thing in Bella’s life. They made her feel like she still had some control. She’d become close with Frank since the party. Their friendship was unexpected but genuine. Bella found Frank free of judgement and easy to to talk to. She was a breath of fresh air compared to the stale, obnoxious small-town theatre folk she was used to. 

The complication came from the fact that Taylor was even more fond of Frank than Bella was. Bella knew there was more than friendship in the way his eyes were glued to Frank whenever she would laugh or the sunlight would hit her face just right. She knew that he would go to his grave denying it was more, but Taylor was never good at keeping things from her. 

She knew he had a crush and she didn’t blame him. Frank was everything that Bella was not: sweet, quiet, soft. The other thing that she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, was that Taylor would never act on his feelings. His stalwart integrity would never allow him such an indulgence. He was much stronger than anyone gave him credit for.

Bella looked over at Zac, fumbling with a pile of tangled cables, his face set in focused concentration. She wondered how she’d let herself get caught up; how she’d become the weak one. Nothing else had happened since the night she’d called him to her, but that didn’t mean she didn’t think about it.

She spent every moment of free time with her boyfriend and the girl he was crushing on. She expended a lot of energy, letting that be okay with her. She felt justified in the occasional daydream about Zac. She deserved something that was just hers. At least that was what she’d been telling herself.

“When is the last time you talked to your brother?” she asked softly. 

“Who knows,” Zac shrugged, winding a cable around his arm. Bella knew he had been disappointed with how little time he’d had with Taylor. They two of them couldn’t have been more different, but they both felt the same about meeting expectations. The summer should have been about the two of them bonding and spending quality time together. Bella knew she was entirely responsible for destroying those plans.

“You should hang out with us. I think Tay would like it.”

“Don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“Bella, no,” he laughed, grimacing at her. “That’s too weird.”

“Why does everything have to be weird with you?”

“Because, Bella, it’s all really fucking weird!” Zac dropped the cable and put his hand on his head in frustration.

“Wow, okay…”

“Bella, I like you…”

“I like you too…”

“No! I mean I like you like you…”

“Zac…”

“Listen! I’m not going to hang out with you and watch you hang all over my brother and tell him you love him when I’m wishing it was me. That is weird!”

“What are you even saying?”

“I’m saying it bothers me to see you with him, acting all…”

“Please stop talking,” she ordered, trying not to let his words cut into her heart.

“Well, one of us needed to say it,” he replied, sighing heavily and letting himself fall against the wall. “The worst part is, I know how wrong it is to want you. I know it’s wrong to do what we’ve done. I know what it makes me; what it makes you. Still....I want you anyway.”

Bella couldn’t breathe. The morning had taken a dramatic turn and she wasn’t prepared to process it. She felt simultaneously defensive and turned on. 

“I’m not leaving Taylor.”

“I know that.”

“I really do love him.”

“Again, I know.”

“It’s not like I expected…”

“I said...I know.”

Bella didn’t remember moving toward him, but somehow they were nearly face to face. He caressed her cheek and ran his thumb over her lips. She shivered, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. She put up her hands and pushed him away from her.

“Not here.”

“But somewhere?”

The look he gave her was so confident, so sure. He knew he’d unlocked a part of her she’d tried to hide. They were co-conspirators in a dangerous plot; a bomb waiting to explode with no concern for the collateral damage. She raised an eyebrow at him and mirrored his hopeful smirk.

“We’ll see.”


	21. Our Doubts are Traitors

#### Chapter Twenty One - Taylor 

It was the end of June and Bella was back in rehearsal. Every summer, OCP put up two productions, giving the first show of the summer rep a break in the middle of the season. A few actors were cast in both, and Taylor would watch in awe as they switched back and forth between stories and characters every night.

This year, the second show was Twelfth Night. Everyone knew that Romeo and Juliet was the crown jewel of the season, and nothing would ever sell as well as what was arguably the world’s most famous love story, but the company was still excited to add a new show to the rotation. Additionally, the cast and crew of Romeo and Juliet was excited to have a bit of a break after a full month of seven show weeks. 

With Bella back in the rehearsal room, Taylor cleaved to Frances. They hung out all the time, sharing their table at the coffee shop, getting lunch together, watching TV shows at the actor condo. When Bella was done each day, the three of them often went out together to Three Birds, Bella relegating them with stories from the theatre while Taylor and Frank listened attentively. Ever since the night of Courtney’s party, things had been different, and Taylor was thankful for that. The three of them were inseparable, and when one was busy, the other two would find something to do together. More than once he had come back to Bella’s apartment to find the two girls on the couch watching a movie. Taylor determined that this was right; this was how it was supposed to be. The feelings he had towards Frances were a kind of...sibling love, he decided. Nothing more. He didn’t dwell on the fact that he had to convince himself of that every time he saw her; that was beside the point. 

Tech week for Twelfth Night meant that Taylor barely saw his girlfriend. He and Frances were sitting at the coffee shop, both with their laptops open, killing time when they got an email from the company manager. 

“God, I forget about the gala every year,” he said when he opened the email invite to the OCP Gala that was always held on opening night of the second summer show. 

“What?” 

“Check your email.” It was a fancy event for all the donors and board members, but anyone who wasn’t in the second show was encouraged to attend. 

“So I guess we’re going to that?” Frances asked once she perused the email.

“Yeah. I mean it’s fun, there’s a lot of free alcohol and there’s a section of the audience blocked off for us to see the show that night. And you get to dress up and stuff.” 

“That’s cool.” 

“Yeah. Oh and afterwards the company all goes to the rehearsal hall and finishes up any extra booze that’s left over.” 

“Sounds familiar,” Frances said with a smirk, remembering the opening of Romeo and Juliet when she and Taylor had snuck into the rehearsal hall and taken a few swigs of champagne straight from the bottle. 

“Yep! Our favorite pastime.” 

“Well cool, I’m excited! Is Bella gonna be there?” 

“She’ll be running around like a crazy person; it’s opening.” 

“Right.” 

There were a few moments of silence, both of them distracted by something on their respective screens. 

“Wanna go with me?” Taylor asked casually. He figured it would be more fun to go with someone, and he and Frances were in a good spot now. There was nothing between them, and he wanted to keep it that way. They could go as friends. _That wouldn’t be weird, right?_

Frank looked at him quizzically. “Um...yeah I guess.”

“The enthusiasm!” 

“Well, I don’t know. Is it...won’t Bella care?” 

“Nah, she’ll be fine with it.” 

Her questioning gaze deepened. “You sure?” 

“Yes, I’m sure Frankie. She’s...she puts on this aggressive air but she’s just a big softie. She loves you, it’s fine.” 

Taylor dove back into his emails, thinking that if Bella wasn’t fine with it, that was on her for not being secure in their own relationship. He trusted himself enough to spend time with another girl without developing feelings for her, so his own girlfriend should be able to show the same amount of trust. 

He was getting very good at rationalizing things in his head when it came to the time he spent with the copper haired girl in front of him.

***

_Hey I’m picking up my paycheck, want me to get yours?_

Taylor decided to walk to the theatre from Bella’s place, figuring it was nice out and he could use the exercise and fresh air after spending the morning watching TV in bed. He needed to get his paycheck anyway, and maybe he could pop in and say hi to his girlfriend who he hadn’t seen in a few days, other than in passing. He checked his phone to see if Frances had responded. 

_Yes please!_

When he arrived, he sauntered past the office and up to the booth, where Bella was nowhere to be found. Instead, he found his brother spinning listlessly in a rolly chair, looking up at the ceiling in a daze. 

“Hey,” he said with a chuckle. 

“Oh, look who it is! My brother!” 

“What’s up? Where’s Bella?” 

“I don’t know, the actors had some catastrophe and she had to rush to save the day. The usual.” 

“Like an actual catastrophe or just it’s tech week so everything is a catastrophe catastrophe?” 

“The latter.” 

“Makes sense.” 

“So what’s up?” 

“I was gonna get my paycheck and say hi to my girlfriend but I guess she’s busy.” 

“So instead you’re gonna say hi to your brother who you never talk to anymore! Lucky you!” 

“Shut up, Zac,” Taylor retorted, now laughing openly. 

“How’s Frances?” Zac asked. Taylor couldn’t help but feel like the question was pointed. Loaded, somehow. He stopped laughing. 

“...She’s fine.” 

“Cool.” 

“Why?” 

“No reason, just haven’t seen her in awhile, I guess. Hey did you get that email about the Gala? That sounds cool.” 

“Yeah, they do it every year.” 

“I mean I’ll probably be up here for most of the time but maybe I can pop in for a second and see what all the fuss is about. Is Bella going?” 

“She’s never able to. She’s doing all her pre-show stuff. But Frank and I will be there.” 

Zac’s gaze narrowed on his brother. Taylor felt exposed. Judged. He didn’t care for it. 

“Like...together, or….” 

“Yeah, like as friends.” 

“Oh my God you guys are idiots. All three of you.” 

“Excuse me?!” 

“No, nothing. Go get your paycheck. I’ll see you later.” 

“Finish your thought, Zac.” 

“It’s weird, that’s all. This is all weird.” 

“Well thank you so much for that brilliant assessment. I have to go.” 

“See Frank?” 

“Shut up.”

Taylor stormed out of the booth and dramatically exited the theatre, completely forgetting to get the paychecks.


	22. These Violent Delights

#### Chapter Twenty Two - Zac

The amount of hype around the Gala was astounding. The entire building looked like an Amazon warehouse, piled with boxes that once held linens or programs or mounds of plastic stemware. Zac was grateful that no one had demanded his help with the set up that morning.

It was the day of the party and everyone seemed too busy running around like headless chickens to order him around. He made his usual trek to the booth, figuring he’d be setting up alone, since Bella would be busy putting out fires.

He put his bag in the corner and moved to the window, looking down on the stage. It was still dark, with only the ghost light illuminating the space. Zac pulled the cover off of the light board to turn on the house lights when he felt his phone buzz in his back pocket. It was Bella.

_When you get here, can you get the house lights up for me?_

**already on it**

_;)_

Zac smiled to himself, picturing her making the very conscious choice to use a winky face. She knew exactly what she was doing. Since rehearsals for Twelfth Night had started, it was like she was a different person. She let her guard down, allowing him to flirt with her openly and even reciprocating on most occasions.

Bella had made it very clear that she wanted to continue whatever was going on between them. He’d dropped all expectations and decided to appreciate the moments they had together. He didn’t think about Taylor or what it was like when she went home to him. 

He held onto the mornings, when it was just the two of them talking in the booth and struggling to keep their hands to themselves. He would make her laugh and her nose would crinkle up in a way that made him feel invincible. The tension between them was palpable but they both relished in letting it build. It was the most exciting feeling he’d ever experienced.

He flipped a few switches and the house and stage filled with light. He figured he should strike the ghost light too, just to be helpful. He skipped out of the booth and down stairs, heading for the hallway that led to the backstage area. 

A dozen ladies in volunteer vests filled the lobby. They were so busy stuffing paper gift bags with flyers and donated samples, they never even looked up at him. He pulled the backstage door open and jogged toward the stage. It was shockingly silent in the theatre and the sharp contrast to the bustling lobby was jarring. Zac’s footsteps echoed off the walls as he walked to the ghostlight and switched it off.

“Thanks.”

Bella’s voice came from behind him and made him jump. He turned around to find her watching him. He knew she’d been running around all morning, but somehow she looked unphased. 

“You scared me,” he said, pretending to be breathless from surprise and not from the sight of her. She had her dark hair pulled back in a low ponytail and she wasn’t wearing any makeup. He’d never been more attracted to her.

She crossed to him and took the ghostlight then rolled it into it’s offstage corner. Something about the way she was moving made his mind turn hazy. 

“I’m just trying to avoid all the crazy,” she said, joining him onstage again. “There’s so much to do!”

“I can think of one thing I’d like to do.” The words left his mouth before he could do anything to stop them. He figured he’d better own them and gave her an obvious once-over. He waited for her inevitable scoff. Instead, she placed herself directly in front of him, so close he could smell her vanilla shampoo.

“Oh yeah, like what?” she asked, looking up at him with feigned innocence. He was trembling as she slid her hands slowly up the front of his shirt. He put his hands up to stop her.

“Don’t tease me, Bella.”

“I’m not teasing. I’ve been stressed all morning and you look....really good right now.”

“Uh, thank you...but...we should really go help out...shouldn’t we?” Zac didn’t know where he found the will power but something about her demeanor made him step away. “You okay?”

“I’m good,” she sighed, pouting slightly. 

“Are you?”

“Yeah, I’m just…” She pulled on her ponytail nervously and narrowed her eyes at him. “Taylor is taking Frank to the Gala tonight.”

“Uh huh.”

“It’s fine! Really, I’m fine with it. I’ll be busy all night anyway and I want him to have fun. I want Frank to have fun. It’s fine.”

“You keep saying that, yeah.”

“Don’t look at me like that, Zac.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re judging me. I know you think our whole friendship thing is weird…”

“It is, Bella!”

“I know!” She seemed caught off guard by her own confession. Zac wanted to go to her but he knew she wouldn’t allow it. “He has feelings for her...I know that.”

Zac didn’t know what to say. That wasn’t new information to anyone. Still, he figured that wasn’t what she needed to hear. He thought carefully about how to proceed. 

“If you know that…,” he asked softly, “...then why would you let him take her to the Gala?”

“Oh god…” Bella dropped her face into her hands and groaned. Zac couldn’t stay back anymore and pulled her into him, holding her tightly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Especially not today.”

“No, you’re right,” she mumbled, her face buried in his chest.

“I am?”

“I let this happen.” She looked up at him with furrowed brow. “I wanted him to take her. I think I wanted him to take her because it makes me feel okay about….”

“About us?”

Bella laughed and pulled out of his embrace. She pulled on her ponytail again, then threw her arms up in resignation.

“I’m a fucking mess.”

“A little bit, yeah,” Zac replied sweetly. Bella looked shocked at first, but her face softened and she shook her head at him, giving in to a smile.

“Maybe we all are.”

“Hey, leave me out of this,” he joked and she rolled her eyes, swatting at his head while he ducked and tackled her around the waist, hoisting her onto his shoulder.

“Oh my god, put me down!” She was shrieking with laughter. Zac was proud of himself for getting her cheer up. He started to spin her, making her squeal even louder, kicking her feet and pounding her fists on his back.

“You’ll never get down! You’re stuck there forever!” He was dizzy from spinning but he was having too much fun. He tickled her ribs and she involuntarily jerked her body so hard, it sent them both toppling to the floor in a heap of giggles.

“What’s going on in here?”

Zac instinctively leapt to his feet at the sound of the stranger’s voice. One of the volunteer ladies was standing at the back of the house, looking at them disapprovingly. He helped Bella up and watched her try to regain her composure.

“It’s fine, Edna. We just...slipped. I’ll be right there!” 

Edna left through the double doors and Bella shot Zac a scolding but playful glare and was gone.

***

The show was over but the Gala was still in full swing. Zac could hear the crowd and the thumping music through the booth door. He thought maybe he would check it out once Bella said he was free to go.

She had the thankless job of keeping drunken party guests from wandering into the dressing rooms and would miss out on the party entirely. She didn’t seem to mind and Zac figured it was for the best anyway. He sent her a quick text to let her know the booth was closed up. She responded right away.

_Enjoy the party!_

He gathered up his bag and ran down the stairs to the lobby, packed wall-to-wall with people. Everyone was dancing and drinking, living it up in the garrish decor that covered every inch of the room. He found his way to the snack table and snagged a few cookies. He passed on the copious amounts of alcohol being offered to him from every direction and searched the crowd for Taylor.

He found him bouncing up and down on the dance floor, he and Frank singing loudly at each other’s faces. They looked like sprites who spawned from the faux forest around them, lit up and floating in midair. Zac wondered how he was the only one who could see what he saw.

“Fucking mess is right,” he mumbled to himself. He turned to go back to the cookies and noticed Abbie with two of her friends. He’d been spotted. He started to panic, looking for anything that could save him.

“Hurricane?” a familiar voice chimed from behind him. Edna held out a bright pink cocktail in a tall plastic cup. Zac took it and thanked her just as Abbie reached him. 

“I gotta take this to Bella,” he lied before she could even speak. He turned on his heels and left her there to wonder what had happened.

He searched the backstage area and found Bella in the women’s dressing room. She was hunched over a stack of paper and writing furiously. 

“Don’t kick me out,” he said, holding the pink drink out to her.

“What is that even?” She laughed, taking it from him and giving it a sniff.

“A lifesaver.”

“What?”

“Nevermind,” he sighed, dropping onto the old sofa by the door. “What are you doing?”

“Rehearsal reports, performance reports, reports about reports…” she whined, gesturing to her makeshift workstation. “I’m over it.”

She took a long sip of the drink and winced. He laughed as she took another long drink, shrugging to him. 

“Is it good?” he asked her once she swallowed the gulp.

“Nope.” She laughed and looked at him suspiciously. “Why are you here and not out there?”

“Party is lame.”

“Doesn’t sound lame,” she said, tilting her ear toward the dull roar coming up the hallway. “Is Tay having fun?” 

Zac’s mind filled with the image of his brother looking the happiest he’d ever seen him...dancing and laughing with Frank. He looked at Bella, working hard to conceal her jealousy with annoyance. His face must have given him away, because she nodded turned away, rifling through her papers mindlessly.

“You’re driving yourself crazy,” he said to her gently. He wasn’t sure it was what she wanted to hear, but he didn’t know how to be any less blunt. “If you want to be with him, just go out there and be with him.”

“It’s not that simple, Zac.”

“It is, though. You just have to be honest about what you want. That’s it!”

“But what if I don’t know what I want?”

“Well, you know you want something because you’re doing all this work to hold it all together. At some point, Bella, something's gotta give. So, what is it you want? Right now, in this moment?” 

Zac found that he was leaning forward, sitting on the edge of the sofa. He hadn't meant to become so impassioned but now the floodgates were open. Bella looked stunned by his lecture; her eyes were trained on him with razor-sharp focus.

All at once, she was moving toward him, pushing him back on the couch and straddling his lap. He didn’t have time to process what was happening. She ran her hand down the side of his face. He looked into her eyes and they were heavy with desire. She was going to kiss him and he held his breath as she pulled her body up against his.

His heart was pounding and he could feel hers too, pumping against his chest. Her lips brushed his lightly and he leaned into her. The kiss was hungry and it made his stomach tighten. He wrapped his arms around her, letting his hands wander lower until he found her hips. As their kiss deepened, he pulled her hips into his.

She whimpered and made a rocking motion downward, applying pressure that made him so hard, he thought he might explode right then. She pulled him forward and wrapped her legs around him, grinding into him, never breaking their kiss.

Suddenly, his mind became very clear; like a foggy mirror that was wiped clean. This was wrong. She was his brother’s girlfriend. Their situation was not one that anyone should insert themselves into, least of all him. This would not end well. He thought about stopping her.

“I want to fuck you,” Bella whispered, breaking their kiss and dashing his clarity. 

He knew there was no going back. He pushed her shirt up over her head and flipped her onto her back on the sofa. She expertly undid his jeans and shoved them down to his ankles. He shook them off, then reached up her skirt and pulled her panties off. She pulled him down on top of her, kissing him wildly. She grabbed his ass and positioned him between her thighs. He pulled his boxers down and relished the feeling of his bare flesh on hers.

Everything was happening so fast, but Zac’s body took over for his brain. When he was finally inside her, it was like the room was spinning. It was rushed and frenetic, like they were running out of time. With every thrust, she moaned and arched her back, encouraging him onward. He couldn’t believe he was already so close. 

“Oh my god….” Bella groaned, her hands pulling at the neck of his shirt. 

She was right there with him. He pressed into her deeply and watched her eyes roll back in her head as she came for him. He finally let go, like a bullet from a shotgun. Their shared release sent fireworks thought his entire body. When the explosions subsided, he collapsed onto her.

“Oh shit,” he whispered, breathless. Her hands were in his hair and his head moved with rise and fall of her chest. His whole body buzzed with satisfaction.

“Oh, shit,” she repeated.


	23. Nothing Can Come From Nothing

#### 

Chapter Twenty Three - Frances 

Frances heard a knock on the door of the actor condo. 

“COMING!” She yelled, as she finished pinning a sprig of baby’s breath into her long braid. She stood up in front of the full length mirror on the back of her bedroom door and looked herself up and down. She hadn’t packed for a formal event, but she figured the floral sundress she had thrown into her suitcase would do, especially since she dressed it up with heels and a crown of flowers in her hair. She nodded to her reflection and scurried out to the front door. 

She threw open the door, not realizing how much nervous energy she had in her body until she nearly spilled out of the condo straight into Taylor. 

“Wow,” he remarked. Frank wasn’t sure if he was commenting on her lack of grace or on her appearance. She decided not to inquire further. 

“You ready?” She asked, attempting not to look too closely at Taylor, who looked nicer than she had ever seen him. He was wearing blue dress shirt and suspenders and, if she knew him as well as she thought she did, he had definitely washed his hair for the first time in days. So she kept her eyes down, hoping that the nervous buzz in her stomach would fade over the course of the evening. 

They got into Taylor’s car, even though the theatre was right across the street. Taylor held the passenger side door open for her and she snorted. “You’re so weird,” she said, shaking her head and laughing. The whole night was surreal. First of all, the entire company hadn’t shut up about this stupid gala since the invitations went out. Everyone had been chattering about what they would wear and who might be in attendance. Frances felt like she was back in high school, and this was prom night. She supposed she wasn’t too off base, seeing as earlier this summer she had been the center of rumors, held people’s hair back as they puked, and stifled down a crush on a boy who she had started calling her best friend. Honestly, the entire summer reeked of high school, so why shouldn’t there be a prom? 

When they arrived at the theatre, Frank was flabbergasted at how the company manager had completely transformed the lobby into a fairytale land. There were twinkly lights cascading from the ceiling, candles on every cocktail table, gauzy linens draped over the banisters. Frank felt like she had stepped into a story book; one where Taylor was guiding her towards the bar with his hand on the small of her back. 

They got their first round of drinks and cheersed, Frank looking into Taylor’s eyes for the first time that evening. She gulped down the Chardonnay quickly, causing Taylor to raise his eyebrows and chuckle. “Bottoms up, I guess,” he said. 

The hour before curtain was filled with appetizers, cocktails, and speeches from major donors. Frances hated schmoozing, and was glad that Taylor stuck by her side for the entire event. Her glass of wine never seemed to run dry, thanks to the open bar, and before long, she was feeling exceptionally silly. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever watched a show drunk,” she whispered to Taylor, giggling. 

He gasped in mock surprise. “Frankie, are you drunk?!” 

“Um, yeah?!” 

“I’m amazed.” 

“Shut up! You got me drunk, ya lunatic!” 

“I did no such thing. You have gone up to that bar just as many times as I have.” 

“God it’s so beautiful in here. They should keep these decorations up all the time! Twinkly lights!” 

“You’re yelling.” 

“I am not!” 

Suddenly, Frank heard lush music coming from the corner and realized that the theatre had hired a string quartet to play the event. It was all so picturesque that it practically knocked her over. A handful of people grabbed partners and scattered around the dance floor. 

“TAY! Let’s dance!” She snatched his hand and yanked him towards the middle of the room. Her head felt fuzzy from all the wine she had already downed, but it added to the softness of the room around her. She draped her arm over Taylor’s shoulder and looked up at him, suddenly incredibly aware of how close to her face his was. 

“You’re funny,” he said, bewilderment in his eyes. 

“What do you mean?!” 

“You’re so aggressive when you’re drunk!” 

“You need to have more. You need to be on my level.” 

“I’ll get there. You’re a sprinter. I marathon.” 

“You’re so dumb.” 

They waltzed around the room carelessly until the song ended. A bell sounded, signalling that it was time to head into the theatre, but they stood there for a few moments while the music still hung in the air. 

“I’m glad we’re friends, Taylor.” 

“Me too! Get another drink before we go in.” 

Frances wasn’t sure why she continued to consume the free white wine; she had never been much of a drinker. Maybe she figured that if she blurred the edges of her vision just enough, she could stop overthinking every move she made. She could let herself enjoy this night with Taylor, this singular moment, where everything was simple. They were together, and having fun, and at the end of the night reality would come crashing back in, but for now they were sitting down next to each other in a darkened theatre, their elbows brushing on the armrest between them. 

She could barely focus on the show. Sometime during the first scene Taylor’s hand had moved to her knee, resting there casually as if this was common practice between them. She was overwhelmed with how much she liked having the weight of his arm there, how it made her bare skin feel like it was on fire, but in the best way. She snuck a glance over at him and he turned to her and stuck his tongue out. 

The show itself might have been amazing, but Frances couldn’t be sure. Her thoughts were all at once racing and moving in slow motion and all she could focus on was Taylor’s hand on her knee, and the weight of him leaning against her. She had to remind herself to breathe, to look forward at the stage, to keep her eyes open. She needed to focus. She needed to get back in control. She was spinning out. 

At intermission she rushed to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face in an attempt to sober up a little. She had let herself go to far, and as much as she was enjoying this strange, alternate reality she had found herself in where it was okay that Taylor rested his hand on her knee, she knew that it was going to hurt like hell when she woke up the next morning and everything was still the same. She didn't want to hurt. She hated hurting. 

And yet…she was having the time of her life. After the show was over, Taylor grabbed her hand and led her back out to the lobby, where a DJ had set up for the afterparty. The room still looked like a fairytale and Frances couldn’t help but giggle as Taylor whisked her back onto the dance floor. She was smiling so hard it hurt. 

“I’m having so much fun!” She yelled over the music, causing Taylor to beam. He took her hand and spun her around clumsily. 

She didn’t let herself have fun, she knew that. Except when she was with Taylor, it seemed. The wall always cracked a little when he was around. She shook her head violently to banish the thought. Not right now, she said to herself. She decided that she was going to enjoy the night while it lasted. No overthinking. No second guessing.

***

“Okay, I need all company members out! You’re cut off!”

“Boo!!” Taylor yelled at the company manager who was attempting to herd the actors and musicians out of the building. All the donors and board members had made their exit, leaving only the people who were there to take advantage of the free booze. 

Frances had sobered up enough to realize that Taylor was now pretty far gone after having his fair share of cocktails after the show. She felt like she could breathe again. 

Taylor fumbled with his phone and dropped it on the floor. “Whoops. Frank, I don’t know where Bella is. Also will you get my phone?” 

“Sure, drunky.” 

She grabbed it and opened it using the passcode she had seen him put in hundreds of times. She opened up Bella’s text window and saw that they hadn’t texted in hours. She sent her a message asking where she was. 

“You wanna go look for her?” She asked, hating that all of a sudden the night was ending thanks to the mention of Taylor’s girlfriend. 

“Not really,” he said with a shrug. 

“Come on, let’s go find her.” 

“Nooooo Frankie. She’s mean to me when I’m drunk, you’re nice.” 

“Shut up, Taylor, let’s go find her and get you home.” 

“Can’t I just crash at your place? I can’t drive.” 

Frank stopped for a moment, knowing that agreeing to Taylor’s request was a bad idea, but wanting to do it anyway. She looked down at Taylor’s phone, which she was still holding. No new messages. 

“Okay.” 

They walked across the parking lot and Taylor grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers. When they walked across the road to actor housing, the streetlamps splayed their shadows out in front of them, casting the perfect painting on the cement. The image of them holding hands so garishly stretched before her took Frank’s breath away. _This is how it should be, but not how it is,_ a tiny voice in her head whispered. 

They silently made their way to Frank’s room and Taylor plopped down on the bed, clearly exhausted from the night’s festivities. Frank went to the bathroom to put on her pajamas and take the flowers out of her hair. She felt like crying and she didn’t know why. She came back into the room and saw that Taylor had taken his pants off and gotten under the covers, his eyes closed and his breathing deep and steady. She wiggled her way under the comforter and turned away from him, hoping that she would be able to fall asleep with a boy in her bed. She felt him move towards her and his arm snake around her waist, pulling her into the crescent of his body. He nuzzled his face into her neck and let out a long sigh. 

She fell asleep to the rhythm of his breathing and the thought that maybe what they were doing was okay. Maybe.


	24. Conscience Doth Make Cowards of Us All

#### Chapter Twenty Four - Bella

Bella woke with a start. Her room was filled with light and the sheets had a familiar, comforting smell. She breathed them in and rolled onto her back, looking up at her ceiling.

Not her ceiling.

This was Taylor’s room. She was in Taylor’s bed in actor’s housing. She felt a chill and sat up, only the thin sheet covering her naked body. She looked to her left, knowing what she would find but hoping it was all a dream.

Zac was sleeping soundly on his stomach, a tangled knot of limbs and sheets.

Bella pulled her knees to her chest and dropped her head, trying not to panic. What had she done? How could she have let this happen? She took a few deep breaths and scanned the room, trying to locate her discarded clothes.

The blurry veil of sleep was lifting and she could see the room clearly, like a museum of evidence from the night before. After the dressing room, she and Zac had hardly spoken, failing to make any sense of what transpired. They had silently put themselves back together, then spent an inordinate amount of time trying to act naturally. A little joke here; an lingering smile there. 

“You want..to get out of here?” Zac had asked, and that was all the permission she had needed to drag him out the back door and to her car, using the thick darkness of night as a shield from prying eyes.

She hadn’t questioned it when they stumbled through Taylor’s doorway, already groping at each other’s clothes. 

_This is Zac’s place,_ she’d told herself. _Where else would we go?_

The memories of their night together made her feel tingly and ready for more. They’d barely slept. It was frenzied, raw and forbidden. They carried on like they might never get enough.

In the light of day, that rationale seemed sick to her. This was the last place they should have come. She looked up and was met with her own reflection in the mirror on the back of the door.

She felt like a monster.

Zac stirred a bit and she froze, not ready to face him. Once he was still again, she slowly rolled herself out of the bed, snatching the first garment she saw: Zac’s t-shirt at the foot of the bed. She pulled it on and went about a tip-toed search for her own items.

“That looks good on you.”

She froze again, bracing for the encounter she’d been hoping to avoid. 

“I really need to go,” she said finally, turning to face him but unable to make eye contact.

“I know…”

He looked sad. Bella decided she didn’t, or couldn’t, care. It was too much to worry about what he was feeling when her whole world felt like a waking nightmare. Her chest felt tight and she was suddenly unable to control the sharp, quick intakes of air she was taking.

“Fuck...we shouldn’t have...oh my god…” She was hyperventilating. She started to feel dizzy, unable to keep her balance.

“Whoa! It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Zac said, rushing to her side to keep her from collapsing. He guided her to the bed and sat her down. “Bella, breath. Deep breaths…”

She managed to get in one good gulp of oxygen, but the exhale turn into a sob. 

“Jesus, why am I crying?” she blubbered, humiliated by this display of weakness.

“It’s okay,” he cooed. “Let it out.”

She appreciated his attempts to calm her and it was starting to work. Her sobs subsided and she hugged her knees again. Zac rubbed her back gently until she regained her composure.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice raspy from crying.

“You don’t… have to be sorry. I get it.”

“I really messed up.”

“Bella, he’s my brother. I think we both messed up.”

“What are we supposed to do?”

Zac shook his head and stared at the floor. After a long silence, he fished his boxers from somewhere under the bed and pulled them on. She watched, unable to move, terrified by her own guilt as it mixed with confusion.

She didn’t regret what she and Zac had done. That was the part that made her feel sick. She had loved every moment of it; wanted it to happen. If given the chance, she wasn’t sure she would do it differently. 

“I didn’t hate it…” 

Zac’s words were jarring to her, like he had heard what she was thinking. If neither of them felt bad about they’d done, then why was she having a complete meltdown?

“I think…” she choked, unsure how her thoughts would sound when she said them allowed. “I think I’m crying because...I don’t feel bad. I’m supposed to feel bad, right?”

“What are you saying?”

“Well, do you feel bad?”

“Yeah, I feel bad, Bella. I slept with my brother’s girlfriend. Of course I feel bad. But I’m not going to lie to myself and say it was a accident. I wanted it to happen. I’m a piece of shit, but at least I can admit that.”

“So you’re saying I’m a piece of shit too?”

“I mean...I guess…”

“Because the thing is, I wanted you, too. And I know that I’m supposed to feel bad for cheating, or whatever...”

“Or whatever!” Zac laughed loudly at her choice of words. It made her feel defensive.

“Stop, I’m trying to tell you that I don’t want this to be a one-time, stupid mistake where we both just go on with our lives and act like nothing went down.”

“I still don’t see your point.”

“My point is…” Bella watched him carefully as she spoke for any sign that she should backtrack. “...I’m upset because I know that I want this to happen again, but I’m not willing to change my whole life to accommodate it.”

“You mean, you’re not willing to break up with Taylor.”

“Right.”

Zac slumped against the wall and looked away. That sad look returned, but this time, Bella was ready for it. She wouldn’t let him get to her. This had to be on her terms or there was no chance for anything more. 

“So we just...sneak around?”

“Zac, I’m the resident stage manager of this company. If anyone knew what was going on...that I left Taylor for a member of the crew, and his brother no less...nobody would ever take me seriously again.”

“Wait, so this is about your job?” He twisted his face into a expression of doubt mixed with hurt. “I call bullshit, Bella.”

“Whatever, you have no idea what it took for me to get where I am. I’m telling you I want you but I’m not willing to throw all that away…”

“And I’m supposed to just go along with that? Who do you think I am??”

“Zac, listen…”

“No, you listen! You’re not some hookup for me, Bella. I really like you...I have real feelings for you. And I’m paying for that everyday. I have to watch you in your little charade with Taylor and your friend, a girl he _clearly_ wants to fuck and you just go along with it. I’ve had to watch you kiss him and tell him you love him, watch the two of you make drunken fools of yourselves at every party, when BOTH OF YOU want to be with other people. Its obnoxious! And it makes me sick!”

Zac was standing, his face and chest blotchy with anger. Bella had never seen him like this and wasn’t sure how to respond. His words left nothing to the imagination. She knew he was right. Still, the idea that he would lecture her when, in some ways, his hands were more soiled that hers, made her want to punch him.

“Thanks for your psychoanalysis, but you’re simplifying this to suit your need to come out clean here. If you think, for one second, that I’ve just been pining to be with you, you’re seriously fucked in the head.”

“Bella…” he guffawed. “...you jumped me, remember? I don’t want to fight. I just want…”

“What? What do you want?”

“What if this is how it’s supposed to be? You and me….and him and her. Then all of us are happy and where we’re supposed to be.”

“You really don’t get it, do you?”

He flopped back onto the bed, his hands on his head. She could see that he was frustrated. Still, she knew she had to do things her way. Admitting he was right meant admitting that she’d lost. Bella Bailey didn’t lose.

She finished collecting her clothes, replacing Zac’s shirt with her own. He watched her in disbelief and she could feel him trying to figure out what to say or do to make her stay. She was about to open the bedroom door when he finally spoke.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I’m always going to have to go. You’ll have to be okay with that.”

They carried on a staring match for several seconds before he stood up and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her tenderly, then let her go.

“I must be insane,” he said, not able to look her in the eye.

She left the apartment a winner.

***

Bella drove home, replaying her argument with Zac over and over. She figured he must think she’s certifiable at this point. She didn’t really care. About any of it. If that meant there was something wrong with her, she figured she’d just have to own it.

She knew she needed to concoct a story to tell Taylor about where she’d been all night and she started to come up with different scenarios, like falling asleep in the dressing rooms or grabbing a drink with the director and staying at his place. 

Taylor.

For the first time in hours she thought about how she had hardly spoken to him since the previous morning. She checked her phone. Not a single call or text message. She found herself wondering what had happened to him. Her imagination conjured images of he and Frank doing the same thing she and Zac had done, but these images made her rageful.

The idea of Taylor choosing anyone over her seemed impossible. It meant the universe was compromised, like something had ripped open and nothing made sense any more. She didn’t want to call him. She figured he would find that suspiciously out of character. Still, she needed to know what had happened.

Frank.

She would call Frank. She would tell her what happened with Zac. She figured she would be able to tell instantly if it triggered something in Frank; that telltale guilt that most people couldn’t mask. If nothing had happened, then she would have shared her darkest secret and the two of them would be bonded forever, eliminating any chance that she and Taylor could be anything more than casual friends. Frank was the kind of girl who would never dream of betraying a friend, no matter the circumstances.

This was the perfect plan. She parked her car in her driveway and placed the call.


	25. It Seems to Me That Yet We Sleep, We Dream

#### Chapter Twenty Five - Frances 

The sunlight was streaming in through Frances’s east facing window. She kept her eyes closed but the light was filtering in through her eyelids, making her acutely aware that it was morning. The sun had risen, the night was over, everything was back to normal. She didn’t want to open her eyes and see the empty side of the bed next to her. She could tell he was gone without even looking. She didn’t hear his breathing or feel the bed sag under his weight. She figured if she kept her eyes closed, she wouldn’t have to deal with the fact that soon or later she would have to get out of bed and face the day - and with it, an avalanche of muddled feelings piling up inside of her.

_Don’t open them. Not yet._

The previous night came cascading back to her in her mind’s eye. Her wine blurred vision, Taylor’s face beaming down at her, his hand on her knee, the shadows on the concrete. Everything had seemed so right, and yet even as it was happening she knew they were on borrowed time. It was as if there was a rip in the fabric of the universe and she was seeing into some other timeline where they had met the first day of rehearsals and, unlike the protagonists of the very show they were working on, their timing had been perfect and uncomplicated. Some other version of the story where it was okay that they fell asleep spooning, their bodies pressed together as though that was how they spent every night. 

She heard her phone vibrate on her bedside table. She groaned and finally, reluctantly, opened her eyes. 

She had no idea who would be calling her after a night of drunken revelry; surely everyone in the company was hungover. Unless it was Taylor. Or…

_Bella_

Her eyes widened and she dropped the phone down on her lap in front of her, as though it had scalded her. It stopped vibrating and Frank took a deep breath, wondering how in the world Bella had found out so quickly. There was only one explanation. Taylor had gone home and told her everything. _Good_ , she attempted to convince herself, _this is good. Get it all out in the open. Rip off the band aid. She’ll hate me again but...she hated me before. I can get through half a summer with someone hating me. It’s fine. This is good._

The phone immediately started ringing again. 

_Rip the band aid off._

“...Hello?” Frank answered, timidly. 

“Frankie?” Bella sounded distraught, as though she had been crying. Frank couldn’t blame her. Her boyfriend had just spent the night with his arms around another girl. She braced herself for impact. She readied her entire being for the angry tears and accusations.

“Listen, Bella, I know…” Frank began but immediately was interrupted by an eruption of sobs on the other end of the line. “Bella?” 

“I messed up, Frank. I messed up really badly.” 

“...What?” 

“I...I don’t know who else to call...I…”

“Just breathe, Bella. What’s wrong? Where are you?” 

“In my car. I can’t go inside yet. Taylor is here and I can’t...I didn’t know who else to call.” 

“What happened?” 

“I cheated on him.” 

Frank felt her stomach drop. Her breath caught in her throat and she suddenly felt very warm. Hot, even. Sweat started gathering at her temples and she threw the covers off of her. She stood up and started pacing around her room without even realizing she was doing it. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Don’t make me say it again, Frankie.” 

“Don’t call me that,” she snapped. That wasn’t Bella’s name for her. That was Taylor’s name for her. She didn’t deserve to have it in her mouth. 

“I’m...I’m sorry.” 

“With who?” She asked, fearing the answer. She was hoping it wasn’t a sleazy, tux clad donor from the night before. 

“Zac.” 

A fresh wave of heat coursed through Frank’s body, knocking her back down on the bed. It was not quite the name she was expecting. 

“What the fuck, Bella?” 

“Please don’t tell him.” 

“I…what were you thinking? Did you sleep with him?” 

“Yes,” she said meekly, the sobs beginning once again. 

“What the fuck!?” Frank repeated, thoughts spinning through her brain faster than she could comprehend. 

“Don’t tell him Frank!! Please.” 

“I have to tell him.” 

“FRANK, NO, I’m begging you please. I’ll...I’ll do it I just…I just need you to listen to me right now and I feel like you’re attacking me.”

“Bella what the hell are you doing calling me? Did you think I was going to take this well? You just cheated on my best friend. I’m...I…”

“Fine! Take his side!” 

“I’m _obviously_ going to take his side, Bella! You CHEATED ON HIM. WITH HIS BROTHER.” 

Frank’s own anger surprised her even more than the information that she had just been given. She was boiling hot. She felt her entire body quake with it. 

“Oh, please,” Bella spat out, tears clearly still streaming down her face. “You’ve been in love with my boyfriend since you laid eyes on him. I’m not a fucking idiot, Frank.” 

“Um, this phone call tells me otherwise.” 

“Stop being so mean to me! I called you because we’re friends. Can’t you just...can’t you just be my friend for a second?”

Frank caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror hanging on the back of her door. She looked like a wild animal, rage in her eyes. She took a deep breath in a sorry attempt to calm herself down. 

“No. I can’t.” 

She hung up the phone.

***

“Whose brilliant idea was it to have a show the night after the Gala?” Courtney groaned from her dressing room table. She was applying a heavy layer of foundation under her eyes in an attempt to look like a fresh faced fourteen year old ingenue. “Juliet is going to be a hungover mess tonight ladies!!”

Frank snorted and continued braiding her hair. The entire day had been a blur, and she couldn’t believe she was about to do the show for the first time in a week. She guzzled some water, trying her best to get rid of the nasty headache that had been with her since she got off the phone that morning. She still felt anger burning inside of her at the pit of her stomach. She didn’t know what to do with it. 

“Ten to places,” she heard Bella announce over the intercom and promptly rolled her eyes. Everything was grating on her nerves, especially the pre-show announcements that were coming every five minutes. She heaved herself up and made her way to backstage left, where maybe she could get a few moments of peace before going onstage. On her way, she felt a hand grasp her arm and pull her into the hallway that led to the rehearsal hall. Without even looking she knew there was only one person it could be. 

“What?” She asked, annoyed with herself for being annoyed. But she was. Annoyed and angry. Angry at Taylor for coming home with her. Angry at Bella for fucking someone who wasn’t her boyfriend. Angry at herself because she had been so happy the night before. She had almost let herself believe that it was right. That it was good. 

Taylor looked defeated. She wondered if he knew. 

“Hey can we like….can we pretend like last night didn’t happen? I know that’s a lot to ask.” 

“Nothing happened, though. You crashed at my place. It’s fine.” 

“Yeah but like...enough happened.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Enough happened.” 

Frank continued to look at Taylor, who wouldn’t meet her gaze directly. “Yeah we can do whatever you want,” she finally answered and began to turn away. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“Are you happy? With Bella?” 

Frances watched as Taylor’s resolve completely dissipated. She had never seen him so unsure of himself, so fragile. His silence told her everything.


	26. As They Kiss, Consume

####  Chapter Twenty Six - Taylor 

For the first time all summer, Taylor was sleeping in his own room at actor housing.

Zac was snoring on the couch, obviously a little annoyed that he had to finally give up his free bed. Taylor had given up on sleep hours before, and was trying his best to numb his brain with Netflix. He supposed he could go get a beer from the fridge, but he was also pretty sure that there was nothing _in_ the fridge. If he had to venture a guess, he would say that Zac had stocked the kitchen with cans of Mountain Dew, pop-tarts, and not much else. 

His mind had been racing since the night of the Gala, and since Bella had so obviously pulled away from him, he figured Frank had told her everything. He wondered how that conversation had gone. He felt pretty awful about the whole situation. But, he had been drunk. _Things happen when you get drunk_. He rolled his eyes at his sorry attempt to rationalize his behavior. 

And then of course, there was Frank, the girl caught in the crossfires. She also seemed distant, ever since their meeting in the hallway moments before curtain. He had really messed everything up, and he didn’t know how to fix it. He threw his covers off and went out to the kitchen to get a glass of water. 

“Hey,” he heard over his shoulder, causing him to jump. 

“Shit, you scared me. I thought you were asleep.” 

“I was for a while, but now I feel annoyingly awake,” Zac said with a yawn that discredited what he just said. He rifled in the cupboard and opened up a package of pop-tarts. Taylor smirked as Zac offered him the second pop-tart, a ritual left over from their childhood and rushed mornings before school. Taylor followed Zac back to the couch, and watched while he flipped through the channels. “Why are you awake?” 

Taylor shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes before his answer registered. “Why? Bad dreams?” 

“I wish. Bad dreams would mean I slept a little at least. No just...just thinking about stuff.” 

“Well that’s never good,” Zac joked, his eyes still glued to the television screen. 

“Tell me about it.” 

“Thinking about what?” He settled on Cartoon Network and dropped the remote. 

“The night of the Gala was...weird.” 

He watched as Zac swallowed the last of his pop-tart, gulping nervously and shifting in his seat. 

“Why?” Zac asked timidly. 

“I...I did something kind of stupid.” Taylor watched his brother fidget and wondered if Frank had told him, too. Before he knew it there would be rumors and stories flying around the whole company about how Taylor was unfaithful to Bella. He had to stifle the groan of frustration that was threatening to come out. Zac didn’t say a word, so Taylor decided to continue. “I spent the night at Frances’s place.” 

“...What?” 

“Nothing happened, like truly, we just fell asleep. But...it might have happened. If I hadn’t been so drunk, or maybe more drunk, or...I don’t know. I feel like such an asshole. But like, honestly Zac, nothing happened, I swear to you.” 

“Are you...are you gonna tell her?’ 

“Bella? I don’t know. I guess I should, right? I probably should.” 

Zac stared at his hands with laser like focus. Taylor knew the look well. He was calculating something in his head; something important. Zac could be pretty absent minded, but when something needed his attention, he zeroed in on it until it was fixed or figured out. 

“I think...um. I think at this point, Tay, you can only save one thing.” 

With that, Zac got up to throw away his wrapper. Taylor wanted to ask what he meant by his vague, Yoda like declaration, but the longer he thought about it the clearer it became. 

Everything about the previous weekend had been a mess, and he could only salvage one relationship. 

He went to his room and texted Bella.

***

“I think I’m just gonna go to bed,” Bella declared when they got back to her place.

The romantic evening out that Taylor planned had not exactly gone the way he had wanted. Dinner was fine, but they were both clearly distracted. Bella spent most of the night checking her phone, which turned into Taylor asking her why, which turned into a fight about personal space. He tried his best to ask her about Twelfth Night, inquiring about how the shows since opening had gone, asking if she knew anything about the next season, but every conversation screeched to a halt before it even really began. Taylor felt like he was doing everything wrong. They drove home in silence. 

Taylor figured, even though dinner had been a dud, that once they got back to the apartment he could at least get her in bed. After all, a huge portion of their relationship prior to this summer had revolved around sex with no strings, so maybe that was all they needed to do. They hadn’t been intimate in a while, he realized as he drove home. But when they arrived back at Bella’s apartment she announced that she was going to sleep and walked to the bedroom, looking defeated. 

He wondered if he should go after her, try to talk, try anything. But something held him back. There was some sort of roadblock between them and no matter what he did, it just seemed to get bigger. Zac’s words echoed in his mind. _You can only save one thing_. “I’m trying,” he whispered to the empty kitchen. 

He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, exhausted from trying to keep the conversation afloat at dinner. He rested his elbows on the counter heaved a heavy sigh, wondering if he should make a drink to knock him out. His eyes wandered to the other end of the counter. Bella had left her phone and her small clutch on her way to her bedroom. It was odd. She was a stage manager and literally always had her phone clutched in her hand in case anyone was trying to contact her for a variety of reasons. She must have been more distracted than he thought. 

He knew he shouldn’t snoop, but then he remembered that Bella had absolutely snooped in his phone earlier in the summer, so he felt justified grabbing the phone and easily gaining access. He opened the messages, hoping to find evidence that Frank had told Bella everything, that they were conspiring against him, that he had lost both the important women in his life in one fell swoop. 

The most recent message wasn’t from Frances. It was from his brother. 

He assumed it was just Zac continuously telling Bella he was going to be late for call, asking her how to do simple technical tasks, telling her he was locked out of the theatre. He opened the message window to confirm his suspicions. 

_I miss you._

The text was from Zac to Taylor’s girlfriend. That seemed odd. He continued scrolling. Back and back and back until he reached the very first text, which was a candid photo Zac had apparently taken of Bella one sunny day during rehearsal. The story unfolded easily in front of him. He calculated timelines quickly, realizing that this had been going on under his nose the entire time. Bella had been fucking his own brother without even feeling a twinge of guilt. He slammed the phone down on the countertop, rage building slowly up from his feet and pouring into his stomach and chest. His breathing quickened. His fists clenched. He had to get out of here. 

He drove recklessly to actor housing and knocked on the door of one of the condos manically. 

“Taylor?” Frank asked as she opened the door. He shoved past her and stormed into her room, pacing frantically. “Wh...what’s wrong?” 

“Bella is fucking another guy. And...here’s the kicker!! It’s my brother.” 

Taylor watched as Frank went pale. She sat down on the foot of the bed nervously. 

“I can’t fucking believe this. She did it right in front of me all summer. I’m such a fucking idiot. And she didn’t tell me!? And neither did he?! He gave me like...advice last night. He just sat there and talked to me like nothing had happened, like he didn’t just FUCK MY GIRLFRIEND.” 

Frances went to the kitchen and got him a glass of water. She ushered him to the bed and forced him to sit down while she stroked his back gently. For a moment the rage disappeared and he was just thankful to have his friend back. 

“Sorry...sorry I came here. I didn’t know where else to go. I know stuff has been weird since…” 

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re...you’re my friend, you can come to me. Shit happens,” she replied with a shrug. 

“I just...God I’m so angry, I hate this. I don’t understand how anyone could cheat, I don’t...I don’t get it.” 

“Well…” Frank said cautiously. Taylor could tell it was loaded, that there was more that she wanted to say but thought better of it.

“Don’t tell me you’re taking her side, Frank.” 

“Oh God, believe me, I am not taking her side,” she said with a defeated chuckle. 

“I just. I can’t believe this. I should have known.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes while Taylor regained his composure. Frank looked at him, sadness in her eyes. He wondered what she was thinking. 

“Can I stay here tonight? I know that’s a lot to ask it’s just...Bella is at her place and Zac is at mine.”

“Of course, Tay. I’ll get some extra pillows.”


	27. Chaos Is Come Again

#### 

Chapter Twenty Seven - Zac

_Are you almost here?_

The text made Zac quicken his steps through the theatre door and up the booth stairs. His fight with Bella after the Gala was a distant memory, nearly wiped away by her latest habit of texting him at all hours. She didn't try to sugar-coat it or make excuses; she owned her shameless booty calls. 

He’d made peace with his willing participation when he’d learned that he was right about Taylor and Frank. If his brother could fall so easily into a cuddle fest with his so-called best friend, Bella couldn’t be faulted for her own need for intimacy. And no one would blame Zac for helping her out. Right?

He shook his head, deciding not to think about it. He hauled the booth door open and hadn’t even made it inside, when Bella was on him, hungrily kissing his neck.

“Whoa, hey--” he laughed, trying to slow her down. 

“I’ve been waiting for hours,” she groaned, not allowing him to deter her.

“You got here ten minutes ago, Bella. It’s only like 9am!”

Her hands were already working on his fly and he stopped fighting her. It didn’t matter how many times he told himself that she would never feel the same about him as he felt for her; how many times he would promise himself he would be strong enough to turn her down, he always ended up right back here. He was overcome with self-loathing and all at once he wasn’t in the mood.

“I guess Taylor didn’t come home again” he quipped, the chill in his voice completely intentional.

“Jesus Christ, Zac…” she said, throwing up her hands and stepping away from him. “When are you going to let this shit go?”

“When you stop acting like that’s not why you’re treating me like your breakfast?’

Bella rolled her eyes hard, but smiled slyly. He steeled himself against her wiles, closing up his pants defiantly and avoiding her stare. He surprised himself with his own grit. When he’d put himself back together, he looked up to find her glaring at him.

“I gotta go get the dressing rooms unlocked. Too bad for you.”

She sauntered past him and he felt his resolve weaken again. He pressed her up against the door and kissed her, ignoring her posture of victory. Just as the were beginning to find a rhythm, she broke away and disappeared out the door, leaving him alone to catch his breath. 

“I’m such an idiot,” he said aloud, still buzzing in spite of himself. He hated the thought of her flouncing through the theatre knowing she’d owned him. It felt like a challenge and he decided to accept it. He threw open the door to set out on his quest to conquer her. 

He collided with Taylor so hard, they both almost ended up on the floor.

“In a hurry?” Taylor asked, rubbing his chest. There was a glimmer of something dangerous in his eyes. It was something Zac had never seen before and it made him uneasy.

“Sorry, I was just…”

“Whatever, watch where you’re going.”

“Tay, I’m sorry. It was an accident.”

“Interesting.”

“What does that mean?” 

The glimmer had become a fire, burning so hot that Taylor’s cheeks were red. Zac wanted to run away. He racked his brain, trying to think of what might have caused his brother’s state. Had he heard something in the booth? Could he have seen somehow?

“It means what it means.”

“You’re here early,” Bella chirped, entering the lobby on cue. 

She skipped to Taylor’s side and kissed him on the cheek. Zac watched his brother’s entire body bristle and that was the moment he started to panic. He looked to Bella, who seemed oblivious that anything was wrong. Taylor didn’t even look at her. He kept his eyes focused on Zac as he began to speak.

“Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?”

Zac stared back at his brother, acutely aware that this was the moment he’d been dreading. Taylor’s eyes were aflame, watery with the rage he was trying to control.

“What are you talking about, babe?”

Taylor broke his eyelock with Zac and turned to Bella, clenching his jaw.

“You’re hooking up with my brother, Bella.”

“W..what? That’s...that’s insane…”

Watching her flounder made Zac feel helpless. He didn’t know what to say or do. His whole body was anchored in place. He couldn’t move. 

“Don’t lie to me! I already know!” Taylor’s voice was getting louder. 

“What do you think you know Taylor?” Bella crossed her arms, refusing to give up without more information.

“I KNOW THAT YOU AND MY BROTHER ARE FUCKING!”

“Taylor, calm down. You’re shouting.”

“Do you think I care?! You’re disgusting! Both of you!”

“I don’t know what you think you heard, Tay, but you need to fact-check…”

“Shut up, Bella. I know FOR A FACT so stop lying.” 

Zac watched Bella’s face fall and turn pale. She looked to him and he felt obligated to say something. Anything.

“I’m....so sorry, Taylor.” His voice cracked, as he fought to make sound.

“You’re sorry? You’re sorry, Zac? You slept with my girlfriend and _you’re sorry_? God, I knew having you here would be a disaster, just like everything else in your life.”

“Are you for real?” Zac’s panic was replaced with indignation. “Maybe if you weren’t hung up on someone else, your girlfriend wouldn’t have to cheat on you.”

Taylor’s face turned a new shade of red and he moved in close until he and Zac were almost nose to nose. Bella looked on in disbelief.

“Zac, I would _never_ do something like this to you.”

“What does he mean, hung up on someone else, Tay?” Bella’s tone was thick with condescension. Zac wished, for once, she would run from confrontation.

“I said shut up, Bella. You have no room to talk here. You make me sick.”

“You know what makes me sick? That you would come in here and attack us when you’ve been drooling over Frank since the first day of rehearsal. That makes me sick.”

“That’s not even close to the same thing,” Taylor spat, turning on her. “I spent time with our mutual friend because you said it was fine. And maybe I started to feel something for her but nothing happened, because I had a girlfriend! I was in a relationship! I’m not a cheater!”

“Whatever,” she shouted back, throwing up her hands. “You can tell yourself you’re better than me. You’re such a martyr; sacrificing your little crush for the sake of our relationship. You can tell yourself it’s fine, but you’re no better than me.”

“YOU FUCKED MY BROTHER!!”

Taylor was losing his mind in the middle of the lobby and it was only a matter of time before someone else found themselves in the midst of the drama. Zac wanted to sprint from the building when the next face to appear was Frank’s.

“You’re such a bitch,” Bella hissed at her, stopping her in her tracks.

“W..what?”

“I can’t believe you told him.”

“Bella, I have no idea what’s going on…”

“No, of course not. Innocent little Frances just wants to be everybody’s friend. She would never do anything to hurt anyone.” 

“Taylor, what’s happening?” Frank looked like a deer in headlights.

“Bella, leave Frank out of this. She didn’t do anything.”

“Go ahead and defend her, Taylor.” Bella looked like she could gag as she advanced on Frank. “I trusted you. You said you were my friend, but you’re a snake.”

“Bella, I didn’t…”

“Did you think if you told him, he’d come running to you? That’s honestly pathetic.”

“I have no idea what is going on here, please believe me!”

“I hope you fucking choke, you whore.”

“Can we just take a second here,” Zac blurted, getting between the girls. Bella looked like a wild animal and Frank looked like her prey.

“How about you remove yourself entirely, Zac. I can’t stand to look at you.” Taylor gave him a shove and he stumbled backward. That was all it took for Zac’s temper to take over. 

He launched himself at his brother and they toppled over, Zac landing on Taylor’s chest. He pulled his arm back and punched Taylor hard in the stomach. 

“Oh my god, stop!” Frank yelled. 

Zac looked up to see her flail her arms, unable to do anything to help. He shifted to try and get another hit in, when Taylor’s fist connected with his chest, knocking the air out of him. He fell back, coughing and struggling to inhale, but Taylor was on him again. They wrestled violently, shouting obscenities at each other, throwing their limbs around trying to land a hit anywhere that was left vulnerable.

“I hate you,” Taylor growled, balling his hands in Zac’s shirt and pinning him to the floor.

“At least I got laid,” he gurgled, trying not to choke under the pressure of his brother’s fists. 

The impact of Taylor’s right hook made his see stars. He felt his body go slack for a few seconds. Once he regained his sight, he he unleashed a barrage of hits into his brother's gut and ribs. Something had snapped and he couldn’t stop if he wanted to.

He became aware of Bella trying and failing to separate them. He could hear Frank screaming at them to stop. Still, he kept swinging and swinging. It wasn’t until he was hoisted onto his feet that he realized a crowd had gathered.

The Artistic Director and another office worker Zac didn’t know had pulled he and Taylor apart. He glanced over at his brother, who looked like he might throw up at any moment. His own mouth tasted like blood and he could feel the flesh on the inside of his cheek was shredded and gory.

He wanted to cry. Bella wouldn’t even look at him. Frank was in tears and looking at him like he was a monster. He shook free of his captor and tried to maintain some sense of dignity, but it was impossible. The crowd of faces was already judging him.

He threw one more look at Taylor, but it was like looking at a stranger. Zac knew that there was no way anything would ever be the same as it was. Something sacred had been broken and the damage was irreparable.


	28. They Stumble that Run Fast

#### 

Chapter Twenty Eight - Frances 

“You all realize that this is a professional company, correct? This is a place of business?” The Artistic Director had marched all four of them into his office and sat them down in front of his desk. They sat there with their heads down while he reprimanded them like unruly school children. “That...whatever that was in the lobby was completely unacceptable. You are all adults. There is no excuse for what happened and the way you acted. If there wasn’t a show to do tonight, and we weren’t already in the middle of rep, I would fire all of you.” 

Bella’s head shot up. None of them would benefit from being fired, but Bella would take the hardest hit. She was at the company year round. OCP was her whole life. 

“But since I can’t train a new stage manager or find a new Mercutio in a few hours, you all will have to stay. For now. But you _are_ all on probation.” 

“What does that even mean!?” Bella asked, confidently. Frances was surprised at how aggressive Bella was acting towards the AD. She looked down the row of them, bloodied and battered, Bella at the end with fire in her eyes. _What a mess_ , she thought. 

“It means that you, Bella, will have to be reviewed at the end of the summer rep to see if we hire you back on for the season.” 

“What?! That’s not fair!” 

“Or would you rather me just say this is your last production?” 

“I...no, sir,” she replied, slumping back down into her chair. 

“As for the rest of you, you’re all on thin ice. You will come in on the day off to help the apprentices with theatre clean, and you’re all now required to help with strike.” 

Frances nodded dutifully, feeling, once again, like she was back in high school and had wrongfully been given detention. She wasn’t really sure what she had done wrong, other than being wrapped up in this ridiculous mess of a situation. Maybe she deserved the punishment simply for falling for Taylor. 

“Additionally, the three of you will be incredibly lucky to ever work here again. You're all incredibly lucky that I'm not firing you on the spot. Just know that.” The AD sat down at his desk with finality and gestured for them to get out of his office. Frances debated staying behind and thanking him like the suck up she knew she could be, but thought better of it when she saw Bella’s steely expression. They filed out of the admin office and into the hallway. Zac blew past all of them, storming outside with his wounded pride and bruised face. 

“Bella…” Frances started, trying and failing to grab Bella’s arm on the way out of the theatre. Bella’s accusations from earlier were still ringing in her ear. _Innocent little Frances just wants to be everybody’s friend. She would never do anything to hurt anyone._ She couldn’t even be mad. It was true. Here she was, attempting to talk to Bella right after the blow up in order to make it all okay again. She just wanted to explain herself; to prove that she did nothing wrong. 

And yet, she wasn’t completely blameless. Deep down she knew that her hands were just as dirty as the rest of them. 

“Frank,” she heard a voice behind her. She realized quickly that it was now just her and Taylor in the hallway. Her whole body burned with something, but she couldn’t quite place the emotion coursing through her veins. She turned to look at him, and she went soft on the inside. She hated that he had that effect on her. 

“What?” She asked, exasperated. 

“Thanks for...thanks for sticking up for me back there. You’re like...you’re like my best friend and just...thanks.” 

Frank studied his face for a few seconds, taking in the trickles of blood and the sorry expression. She shook her head and walked out of the theatre.

***

“Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch; marry, 'tis enough.  
Where is my page? Go, villain, fetch a surgeon.”

Frances knew she had the entire audience in the palm of her hand. She had poured every confusing feeling she had into her performance, and she could feel the crowd watching in horror and awe as she fell into Chad’s arms. 

“No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a   
church-door; but 'tis enough,'twill serve: ask for   
me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I   
am peppered, I warrant, for this world. A plague o'   
both your houses! 'Zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a   
cat, to scratch a man to death! a braggart, a   
rogue, a villain, that fights by the book of   
arithmetic! Why the devil came you between us? I   
was hurt under your arm.”

She could do this death scene in her sleep at this point, but tonight felt different. She was angrier, for one thing. The rage that she had not allowed to bubble to the surface while Taylor and Zac pummelled each other surged forward. 

“Help me into some house, Benvolio,   
Or I shall faint. A plague o' both your houses!   
They have made worms' meat of me: I have it,   
And soundly too: your houses!”

When she let her head fall to the side and gave her weight completely over to Chad’s arms, the entire room went completely quiet. She had never heard silence like that before, especially on stage. The boys carried her offstage and she sat in the wings for the rest of the show instead of going back to the dressing room. She didn’t want to leave the world of the play just yet. 

When she took her bow at curtain call the crowd went wild, leaping to their feet and shouting for her. It took her by surprise, but she smiled and waved gratefully, soaking in the feeling before the real world came crashing back down around her. The curtain closed and she ran offstage, tearing off her costume in the process. Her performance gave her confidence, and she pulled on her t-shirt and jeans and bolted to the booth. Frank knew that Bella had to wait until the house was clear to do anything post-show, so she decided to take advantage of the ten minutes where she was trapped in the booth. 

“What do you want?” Bella asked flatly when Frank burst through the door. 

“I didn’t tell him. I promise. I don’t know what I have to do to make you believe me but it wasn’t me.” 

Bella didn’t even look up from her phone. 

“Our friendship is important to me, okay? I was angry when you told me because...Taylor’s friendship is _also_ important to me. But that doesn't mean I was going to betray your trust and tell him. You asked me not to, so I didn’t.” 

Still nothing. 

“I guess that’s all I can say. I’ll...I’ll see you later, Bella.” 

Frank left with a sigh, hoping that her words had gotten through to Bella in some manner. She stopped by the dressing room and grabbed her backpack. She had never been more ready to leave the theatre. She was exhausted. 

She flung the stage door open and saw Taylor standing on the stoop, waiting for her. 

“You stole the show, Frankie.” 

She couldn’t help the smile that crept to her lips. 

“Come on. I’ll walk you home.”


	29. Perchance to Dream

#### Chapter Twenty Nine - Bella

It was amazing how things could be literally perfect one minute and then a complete and total disaster the next. Bella shoved her prompt book onto its shelf and gave the booth another inspection. She had shut it down herself, sending the rest of the crew away right after the show ended. She didn’t have the energy for anything or anyone.

The tension over headset was enough to clue her in that word had already spread. She was sure every single member of the company was gossiping about her. She pictured them all, chattering away and snickering behind her back.

_Bella, the cheater. Bella, the slut. Bella, the girl who broke perfect Taylor’s heart._

Her brain wouldn’t shut off. If those thoughts weren’t enough, she had the embarrassment of almost losing her job to replay over and over. She felt incredibly foolish for letting her personal life become so entwined with her career. She’d worked so hard for her resident status. Now, it was dangling by a string and her only hope was that she could smooth things over before the summer ended.

She moved to the door and switched off the light, standing in the darkness and silence. She’d always loved the sensation of being alone in a theatre. It was like the air stood still, resting, awaiting its next chance to fuel the art that would fill it up each day. The calm after the chaos.

She pictured Taylor and Zac, bruised and bloody, unable to look at her or at each other. She pictured Frank’s bewildered expression against the berating Bella had delivered. She felt the anger, the panic, the loss of what had transpired. She let it come out of her in heavy sobs that echoed off the booth walls.

Everything was over.

She knew that Taylor would never forgive her. He would never be able to erase the images he’d, no doubt, conjured of she and Zac together. She knew him well enough to know that no matter what, she and Taylor would never be the same. 

She had tried to make eye contact with Zac throughout the first act of the show. He was like a brick wall, a complete barricade with no cracks. A fortress of rage and raw, unbridled heartbreak. She was never getting through again. She didn’t have the energy to create a defense and she gave up hope by intermission. 

The final blow came from Frank, trying to salvage whatever friendship she thought they had. And they had been friends. To Bella, they had carried on the closest thing she’s ever had to a friendship in her life. Still, the thought of giving in and letting her be the one to come out on top felt like death. 

This thing started because of Frank. Didn’t it?

Bella waited until her sobs subsided, leaving her with a splitting headache and a shirt drenched with tears. She wiped her face and took a few deep breaths. She would get herself home, put on her favorite sweatpants and eat anything she could find that was made of mostly chocolate or salt. She would put herself back together. 

She was all she had.

***

_The breeze was blowing softly, making the trees sway against the crystal blue sky. There wasn’t a cloud in sight. Bella noticed the swarms of people on either side of her, seated in neat rows of white chairs, focused as she walked up the aisle._

_She smiled to herself, suddenly aware that she felt euphoric, like this was a moment her entire life had been leading to. She felt the sand beneath her bare feet and heard the sounds of the ocean nearby._

_This was paradise._

_There were flowers everywhere that matched the ones she carried in a modest bouquet. She started to recognize some of the people in the congregation. Most of them were company members, all looking at her in awe._

_“Is this a wedding?” she asked a woman on the aisle. The woman began laughing and nodding, tears of joy and pride in her eyes._

_Bella continued up the aisle as the figures standing before her came into focus. The first was clearly Taylor, with his blonde hair flopping effortlessly in the wind. The second was a stranger dressed in black and she immediately presumed he was a man of the cloth._

_“Am I getting married?” she heard herself say in a voice that was both gleeful and suspicious._

_The congregation laughed uproariously. Bella stopped walking and looked around at them, their faces changed from adoration to mocking cruelty. They laughed at her, pointing and rolling in their seats._

_Bella looked to Taylor for some explanation but he was gone. Instead, there were more people, taunting her with distorted faces._

_The sky turned black and sand began to feel like shards of glass. She tried to run but she couldn’t make her legs respond._

_A booming voice rose above the cackling crowd._

_“YOU DID THIS! YOUR FAULT!”_

_She covered her ears and tried to block the voice out but it blasted louder, repeating the same lines over and over. She fell to her knees, oppressed by the sound of the voice she knew too well._

_The voice was her own._

***

Bella shot straight up in bed, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. The dream had felt so real. It took a few seconds for her to orient herself. She was in her room, in her bed and it was still dark outside her window. She hugged her knees and let her pulse slow down.

The imagery of the dream was burned into her mind and she couldn’t shake the feelings of anxiety they created. She jumped out of bed and rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a large bottle of wine from the fridge. She filled a large glass to the brim and was about to gulp it all down, when she remembered she had a double show day to do. She looked at the clock.

6:27am.

Her alarm would sound at 7:00, but she wouldn’t have any reason to get up that early anymore. Zac wouldn’t be waiting in the booth for her. Taylor wouldn’t be asking if she wanted to hit up their favorite diner before call. She thought about her dream again.

_You did this. Your fault._

The words felt like punches in the gut. She knew they were true. She wanted so badly to believe that someone else could be blamed for the mess she was in, but the fact remained that she was the one that made it. She was the one that refused to do what was right. 

She poured the full glass of wine into the drain and watched the burgundy liquid swirl and the vanish; a perfect metaphor. She knew there was no way she was getting back to sleep. Her conscience was too heavy and she couldn’t sleep through the pressure of it. She certainly didn’t feel up for another dream.

She needed to act; to do something. 

First, she considered texting Taylor. She could beg and plead for his forgiveness, reminding him of how things used to be before she screwed them up. She imagined him seeing her name pop up on his phone and then tossing it violently across the room in a fit of madness. Or he would see it was her and cry into his pillow, unable to make sense of the betrayal the people closest to him had brought on him.

She knew she shouldn’t contact him. Not yet.

Zac was completely out of the question. He’d be more than ready for a fight and she was too tired match him. She still couldn’t make sense of the wrath he directed at her. In the moment, she expected him to be more of an ally. Instead, he seemed to be done with her. She’d seen what he was capable of and decided it was better not to poke the bear. That left her with one option.

Frank.

Frank had left the door open, trying to make amends for a thing she hadn’t even done. Bella had ignored her, not having anything but disdain for the girl she wanted to blame. Now, in the darkness of dawn, that peace offering seemed much more tempting. Bella raised her phone and texted Frank without another thought.

_Meet me for coffee at 8?_

***

“Thanks for coming,” Bella said softly, looking over her latte at Frank.

“I’m surprised you asked me.”

Frank’s pale cheeks were flushed and Bella could tell she wasn’t sure what to expect from this meeting. She watched her habitually push an unruly strand of copper hair behind her ear every few seconds. Bella admitted to herself that she liked seeing Frank uncomfortable.

“I needed you to know that I believe you,” Bella said. “I also owe you an apology.”

“You don’t…”

“Yes, I do, Frank. I was awful to you yesterday. I said some ugly things. And I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I understand.”

The two of them mirrored each other, lifting their drinks to their lips and sipping without breaking eye contact. Bella wondered if this girl in front of her might be smarter than she let on. The anxious knot in her stomach was beginning to loosen. Perhaps this would work out for her after all.

“Well, thank you for still being my friend. I don’t think I deserve that right now.”

“Of course you do, Bella. You made a mistake, but you deserve the chance to make it right.”

“Tell that to Taylor.”

“I don’t...think that’s what he wants to hear just yet.”

“But you are still talking to him, right?”

“Yeah...he’s...my best friend here.”

“Hmm…” Bella swallowed the rest of her latte to distract from the sting Frank’s comment created. “Well, I’m glad he has you.”

“I’m here for both of you, Bella. You guys are both my friends and I’m not taking sides, okay?”

“Let me make this easier on you and say its okay to take his side. I’m an absolute monster.”

“You did quite a number on him, yeah.”

“Ouch!” Bella winced for show. “Thank you for your honesty. No wonder he adores you.”

“You know that nothing happened right?” Frank looked unsure of her sudden question.

“What do you mean ‘nothing’?” 

“I don’t know what you heard, but we just slept in my bed. That’s it.”

“I’m sorry...what, now?” Bella was getting tunnel vision, trying to make any sense of what she was hearing.

“The night of the Gala. I don’t know what Zac told you, but nothing happened.”

All the stress and regret and guilt Bella had been coming to terms with was cancelled out by this new information. How convenient it was that this was coming out after she’d been made out to look like the bad guy. She had been right all along. 

Without a word, she picked up what remained of Frank’s iced coffee and tossed it at her. The smattering of patrons in the cafe gasped, their full attention on the scene Bella was making.

“Bella, what the…” Frank looked down at her coffee-soaked shirt in shock, then looked up to find Bella standing above her. She grabbed her bag, leaned forward and poked Frank hard in the chest, speaking quietly but coldly.

“Never speak to me again.”


	30. Love's not Time's Fool

#### 

Chapter Thirty - Frances

“Fifteen to places.” 

_See ya out there, Frankie. Thanks for talking to me earlier._

Frances smiled down at the text message from Taylor, imagining him descending down into the pit and taking his place at the piano. Earlier that day, he had been in her bedroom complaining about how he had to kick Zac out of his company housing. She had listened attentively, nodding and offering advice where she could. 

Since the shit hit the fan, Taylor had leaned even harder on Frank, and she loved being needed like that. She was proud of the fact that over the course of the summer, she had become his confidante; that they had joked about being best friends and then actually became them. She treasured their bond. She believed that she saw a part of him that no one else did, and vice versa. 

Over the course of the few days since the blow up in the hallway, Frances allowed some of her feelings for Taylor to bubble to the surface. She let him fall asleep in her bed when he was upset over the events of the week. She rushed to his side when he needed someone to talk to. She fought the urge to scream “you should never have been with Bella, you should be with me.” But she didn’t. She longed for better, less confusing timing. She figured she would just have to wait. 

“Five to places.” 

Frances realized she had been staring into her dressing room mirror and daydreaming, the five minute call snapping her back to reality. She stood up and walked to the stage. She lived for the two hours every night where she got to exist in a completely different, and fictional, shit show than the one she was living in now. She took a deep breath and readied herself to lay it all out on the stage. 

Frances had never been one to daydream. She was a realist, which she firmly believed made her a better actress. And yet, she couldn’t stop slipping into a scenario of her and Taylor, living in New York, and being together. She knew it wouldn’t happen right away. He needed to heal from the hurt that had been delivered to him by his girlfriend and his brother, but she figured that now the door was open, and the daydream was safe.

***

The next morning, Frances slept in as late as she could, then trudged to the coffee shop to try and tune out her daydreams with a book. It was usually pointless, but she attempted it anyway, mostly because she knew that she would inevitably be joined by Taylor, looking disheveled but somehow perfect. She sat down at their table on the patio and propped her feet up on the chair beside her.

She wasn’t there two minutes before a familiar figure caught her eye and forced her to look up from her book. She smiled, almost forgetting that the entire company was whispering about how, even after the fight, Frank and Taylor were still always together. Taylor seemed not to care what anyone thought. Frank wished she could have his resolve when it came to stuff like that. 

“Great show last night, Frankie!” 

“Thanks! I couldn’t find you afterwards, so I just went home. Did you go to Three Birds?” 

“Nah, I went home too. I was beat.” 

“Yeah same.” 

“But seriously, you’re killing it lately.” 

Frances took a sip of her coffee, trying to look smug and over-confident but failing splendidly. She ended up snorting and laughing, almost choking on the hot liquid. “Well thanks,” she said, trying to hide the blush that creeping up her cheeks. “What are you doing today before the show?” 

“I have some resumes I need to send out.” 

“Resumes?!” 

“Yeah it’s the second half of summer! Which means the magic is ending soon...we’ll have to leave the OCP bubble and go back to the real world.” 

Frances nodded. She hadn’t even thought about what would happen after the show closed, save for the daydream that her mind always seemed to wander back to. She pushed the thought out of her head. 

“Ew, the real world, boring,” she muttered.

“Yeah, but also less...dramatic.” 

“True.” 

He took a gulp of his iced americano and opened his laptop. “Then I’m getting lunch with Bella and then probably nothing ‘til the show.” 

“Lunch with Bella?” 

“Yeah. We’re trying to take things slow. Just like...have lunch a few times, go on some real dates. We never really did that, ya know?” 

Frank flashed back to the fight in the hallway, the unbridled anger with which Taylor threw punches, the flailing limbs, the wild eyes. She shook her head, coming back to the present moment. 

“I didn’t...realize that you were...um…” 

“Yeah I’m gonna give it another chance. I’ve thought a lot about it. And honestly talking to you really helped clear my head about everything. You said so yourself that everybody makes mistakes.” 

Frank felt like her ribs were cracking. Every word Taylor said felt like another break; another snap. She looked up at him, clearly confused, but she couldn’t find breath in her lungs to respond. She just nodded, trying her best to ignore the knots in her stomach. Her mind was all at once racing and completely blank, as if she was rifling through a unmarked notebook searching for something that wasn’t there. 

Her phone buzzed violently on the table. 

It was the Artistic Director.

***

“How are you today, Frances?”

“Um...I’m fine,” Frances lied. She was still shell shocked, and hated herself for it. 

“Alright, so let’s just get down to it. Your performances lately have been astounding. You’re incredibly talented.” 

She blinked a couple times, wondering if she had heard him correctly. She was expecting to be reprimanded again. 

“Thank you,” she responded. 

“So...we would like to offer you another role after the summer rep is over. We’re doing A View From the Bridge, and we would like you to play Catherine. What do you say?” 

She knew she should be excited and jump at the offer, but she also knew that Bella would be stage managing, and Taylor would probably be around, and that everyone here already knew that she was hung up on a boy she would never have. She would rather go back to her restaurant job than nurse that wound here in Oklahoma, where the mere sight of Taylor would force her to pick at the scab, constantly opening and reopening the gash he had left there. It seemed like an impossible task. She couldn’t deal with another opening night party, the chance that Taylor would end up sleeping in her bed, or holding her hand, when clearly it meant nothing to him. She couldn’t fathom being around for Bella’s third, or fourth, or fifth chance, when she knew for a fact that she wouldn’t even need a second one if he would only give her a first. 

She had to get out of this place. 

“I’m sorry,” she said plainly. “I can’t.”


	31. Looks on Tempests and is Never Shaken

#### Chapter Thirty One - Taylor

“If we’re going to do this, there have to be some ground rules,” Taylor had said the night before, finding himself yet again in Bella’s apartment. She had asked him to come talk, just talk, and they did - Bella laying everything out on the line and basically begging for forgiveness. She said a lot of things that Taylor never thought she would ever have the humility to say, and he had to admit, it felt pretty good.

Talking to Frances over the course of the last few days had felt pretty good, too. She allowed him to get everything out, unblock all the passageways where his anger and frustration about the situation had been building up. She was so patient with him, letting him ramble for hours at a time while she just sat and listened and nodded. He longed to be as patient and forgiving as she was. He figured he could start now. 

He was at lunch with Bella. They had agreed that for the first time in their relationship, they would actually attempt to date. He wouldn’t move back in with her, they wouldn’t make a show of it around the rest of the company, and most importantly they would take it slow. Bella was important to him, and he didn’t want to lose her. So much had changed this summer and he wasn’t ready for more. He needed to keep some semblance of normalcy, and Bella was a constant in his life. 

“So…”he started, trying to make light conversation at the table they had chosen, “any word about next season?” 

“Yeah they just finalized the line up and are starting to cast.” 

“Oh cool. They probably won’t ask me back, huh?” 

“Never say never,” she said with a shrug. 

They finished their meal in relative silence and walked back to Bella’s apartment hand in hand. It felt...nice, Taylor decided. Maybe this would work. 

When they got to her front door, Taylor decided to just say goodbye and leave like a gentleman. He gave her a quick kiss and turned to go. 

“Tay...I...um, thank you,” she called after him. 

“For what?” 

“I just...I seriously thought you were never going to speak to me again. I thought everything was over. I’m just...I’m really happy that it’s not.” 

Once again, Taylor was astounded by how vulnerable she looked. It almost scared him. 

“I think we can make this work,” he said, trying to convince himself more than anyone, "I’ll see you later.”

***

“Frankie!” Taylor called to Frances when he saw her in the hallway later that night heading to the dressing room. She didn’t turn around to greet him. He shrugged it off, figuring she didn’t hear him or had earbuds in. He would catch up with her at intermission or after the show.

He could usually count on a few glances from Frank during Act one, before things started getting too dramatic and she couldn’t risk looking at him and laughing, but tonight there was nothing. He even kept his eyes on her as much as he could, hoping for a moment of contact, but to no avail. At intermission he looked back at his texts with her and realized they hadn’t talked all day since the coffee shop when she got a stone cold look on her face and jumped up from the table, leaving in a hurry. She had just gotten a call from the Artistic Director and Taylor was worried she was in trouble again. Maybe that was why she was acting so weird. 

_Frankieeee come down to the pit when the show is done!_

He hit send without even looking and turned back to the piano. They still had about 10 minutes of intermission, and he knew that Frank always checked her phone during it. If she ignored him this time, he would absolutely know something was wrong. 

_Mmmm, might want to check who you’re texting before you hit send._

Taylor’s heart sank. It was from Bella. 

“Shit,” he whispered, frantically going back and forth between Bella and Frank in his phone, even though he knew the mistake had already been made. “Shit, shit, shit.” 

There was nothing inherently wrong about texting Frank, but he knew it didn’t look good. After all that had happened, and all the new rules he and Bella had laid out...he felt like an idiot. 

_Whoops, sorry babe. It wasn’t anything important._

He hoped that would work. He settled in for the second act, annoyed that now his mind was elsewhere. Frank looked sad and defeated onstage, and her death scene was not nearly as loud and dramatic as usual. He played the music dutifully, grateful that by this point he could let his fingers take over and his mind could wander elsewhere. He kept going back to what Zac had said the night Taylor told him what had happened. He could save one thing. 

After curtain call he checked his phone again. 

_That’s okay. I just think maybe if we’re going to make this work it’s time to stop talking to Frances._


	32. Opposite of What Thou Justly Seemeth

#### 

Chapter Thirty Two - Zac

Zac was still sore all over, even a week after the fight. Crashing on random couches night to night couldn’t have been helping things either. He wasn’t surprised when Taylor kicked him out. He would have left on his own anyway.

Still, with his contract running through the summer, he had to figure out some place to sleep. He had started with Abbie, who was thrilled to take him in, until the second night when he made it very clear he had no interest in joining her in bed. Then, it was mooching off any cast or crew member with half a heart and an extra pillow. The whole thing was already getting old.

He knew what everyone thought of him. They’d all known Taylor for years. They respected and admired him and his talent. To them, Zac was just his fuck-up brother who ruined everything he touched. He would run out of doors to knock on soon and then he’d really be screwed.

He pulled on his shirt and inspected his bruised face in the mirror. The puffiness in his jaw had finally begun to subside, but the coloring was turning from dark blue to a sludgy yellow, making him look sickly. He relived the images of Taylor wailing on him, his face filled with hatred. It made his stomach hurt.

“You almost done?” his host shouted, knocking urgently. He’d never spoken a single word to Drew before the previous night, when he asked if he could spare his sofa.

“Yeah,” he answered, opening the door. “Thanks for letting me crash, Drew.”

“No problem,” Drew answered, avoiding eye contact. “I hope you’re okay that I can’t let you stay again tonight.”

“Yeah, no...it’s cool. I have a place lined up.” he lied, gathering his bag and crossing to the front door. “Thanks again.”

Drew nodded awkwardly and gave a wave. Zac felt relief as he jogged away from actor housing toward the theatre. Staying with strangers would never get easier. He knew he couldn’t keep up this lifestyle. Something had to give. He couldn’t afford a place of his own and he was out of people who would tolerate him.

As he walked, he thought about begging Taylor to forgive him. The trouble with that he didn’t think he could be around his brother. Not yet; not since he learned that he’d forgiven Bella. The two of them made him want to scream. They were so toxic and yet they kept going back for more.

_Idiots._

He might be homeless, friendless and heartbroken, but at least he wasn’t stupid. He huffed and shook his head, banishing his thoughts as he arrived at the front of the theatre building. He braced himself for a day of taking orders from the person who’d ruined his summer as they set up for the VIP Dinner Party that was scheduled for the evening.

During the Gala, any guests who donated at the Platinum Level was invited to a special VIP performance of select scenes from both shows and a catered dinner after. Company members were asked to volunteer their time to set up in exchange for free dinner. In light of recent events, the Artistic Director made it pretty clear that Zac, Taylor, and Frank didn’t really have a choice in the matter. Their volunteer status had been revoked for the rest of the summer.

Bella was waiting in the lobby, clipboard in hand. She saw Zac come in, but averted her eyes, pretending to be busy. He looked around, spotting Taylor leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone. Part of his heart ached, wishing everything could go back to before. As angry as he was, he still missed his brother.

He missed Bella too, as much as he tried not to admit it. It made him feel a little better that she hadn’t looked well since things fell apart. Her face was gaunt and pale and she’d stopped caring about her appearance, opting for ponytails and sweats most of the time. This day was no different. 

_She should be thrilled_ , he thought to himself. _She’s the only one who walked away with something to show for it._

“Okay, thank you everyone for being here,” she stated loudly, drawing the attention of all in attendance. “I’ve assigned all of you to groups, so listen carefully for your name. Sam, Courtney, Chad, Amber, Liam, and David are on food stations. Please head toward the box office where you’ll find everything you need. The caterer arrives in three hours. Greg, Veronica, Frances, Ava, Marcus, Zachary, and Tomas, you’re staging the dining room. All the large rounds you’ll need are in Storage Room B and linens are in boxes in the front office. The rest of the crew and Taylor, you’re with me on show set-up and lights. Alright, let’s knock this out, people.”

Bella led her group up the stairs toward the booth, Taylor trailing obediently behind. Zac made his way over to his group, catching Frank’s eye. She gave him a sheepish smile, like she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Considering how little they’d spoken since the beginning of the summer, Zac felt like they were connected by their shared drama.

“This sucks,” he said to her, shrugging.

“You’re not wrong,” she replied, looking relieved that he spoke first.

“After you,” he said, opening the backstage door for her. If they had to spend the morning lugging heavy tables, they’d might as well get along. 

Maybe some commiseration was just what they both needed.

***

The VIP performance was odd and Zac couldn’t see it’s appeal. The company performed the most iconic scenes from Romeo & Juliet and Twelfth Night, interspersed with some of Taylor’s original music. None of the actors were in their best form and the whole thing had a cheesy cabaret feel. Zac was glad it was over.

The booth was bustling, with everyone shutting down quickly, motivated by hunger and the promise of free booze. Bella was being especially bossy and Zac found himself sighing loudly. At one point, he was sure she’d caught him rolling his eyes. He didn’t care. He just wanted to leave; to get away from her and from Taylor.

Bella announced that everyone would meet in the house before getting their dinner and the booth cleared out quickly. She hung back, making sure everyone was complying.

“You too, Zachary.”

He tried not to gag at her tone, stomping past her and down the stairs. He was about to follow the group into the theatre, when Taylor appeared and started talking quickly to Bella about something that looked important. She was distracted.

Zac slipped out of the group and hung back, waiting until they had all exited the lobby. He looked around at the tables, filling up with guests. They all looked so relaxed and he wondered if they had any idea what it took to prepare this night for them. His ribs and neck were screaming from lifting heavy tables all day on top of his existing injuries. He decided he deserved to enjoy the fruits of his labour.

He walked up to the bar, which was really just several large, ice-filled buckets offering a selection of beer and wine. He took two cans of the strongest beer he could find. He slammed one there at the table, then popped the other. 

The bubbling in his stomach reminded him that he hadn’t had a thing to eat all day. Slamming that beer had been a mistake, but it started to numb his muscles so he kept drinking. He watched the VIPs mingling and chatting. It made him feel tired; thinking about all the energy it must take to maintain that level of self importance. 

He had just finished his second beer and was reaching for a third when he heard Bella’s voice behind him.

“What are you doing?”

“Drinking,” he answered , glaring at her defiantly.

“You’re not supposed to be out here. These drinks are for the VIPs.” She snatched the can from his hand and replaced it in the bucket beside him. 

“I am VIP, Bella. Didn’t you know? Everybody is talking about me…”

“You look really foolish right now.”

“Don’t care,” he snorted, grabbing the beer can again. He watched her face turn to stone, set in a grimace she reserved for late actors or crew members that missed cues.

“Zac, stop acting like a child.” She was mad and he liked it. She tried to take the can from him, but he held it out of her reach, unable to stop the smile spreading on his lips.

“What are you gonna do about it, Bella?” he laughed, watching her struggle maintain her cool while fighting him for the can.

“I don’t have time for this bullshit. Give me the can!”

People were starting to notice their little scuffle and it made Zac want to escalate it. He knew that was the last thing Bella would want and it felt good to have the upper hand for once.

“Anything else I can give you, Bella? Here’s the can-- “ He dropped it into her hands. “What else do you want? As your boyfriend’s brother, and your secret lover, I’m here for you, babe.”

His voice was echoing through the lobby and every eye was on them. Bella looked like she might die from embarrassment. He saw the Artistic Director stand up from his table, ready to snap. He smiled broadly at the crowd and waved.

“Zachary, you’re fired. Leave now!” Bella was trying to sound professional and in control but her voice quivered. 

“You can’t fire me,” he smirked, taking the beer can from her one last time. “I QUIT!”

The guests gasped and whispered to each other, horrified by such unseemly behavior. Zac cracked open the beer and took a big swig. He looked toward the backstage door, where his company mates were all watching in horror. 

“It’s been real,” he shouted to them, giving a salute. “Real fucking awful!”

With that, he turned and marched out the front door, finishing the beer as we went. When the night air hit his skin, it felt like freedom. He could call his friends for a ride, go back home and never think about this summer again.

He hopped down the walkway, but froze when he heard his name. He didn’t have anything more to say, but he figured he could at least see who thought he was worth chasing after.

He turned around to find Frances.


	33. A Madness Most Discreet

#### 

Chapter Thirty Three - Frances 

“That was quite a performance you just put on,” Frank called out to Zac, who was halfway across the parking lot. He had turned around at the sound of his name, clearly bewildered that someone had followed after him. She walked towards him, brandishing a water bottle like a peace offering. “Here. You should drink this.” 

She swore she saw a flash of humility flicker across his face as he reached for the bottle. She twisted off the cap and handed it to him. 

“I wish this was something a little stronger, but thank you,” he said, taking a swig. 

“You’re not driving anywhere, are you?” 

“I don’t have a car.” 

“Then let’s just sit here for a second so you can sober up.”

“...Why are you being so nice to me?” 

Frank shrugged, squatting down on the curb and looking up at Zac, inviting him to take a seat with her. “We’re in this mess together, I guess.” 

A snort escaped his throat and he nodded, joining her on the ground. “That’s one way of putting it.” He offered her the bottle and she took a drink, as though they were passing a flask of strong liquor back and forth. 

“So what are you gonna do now?” She asked. 

“I don’t...really know. Probably find a way back to Tulsa and try to beg my parents to let me stay with them. I’m not sure if they’ll let me come home, seeing as this is the third job in a year that has...let me go.” 

“Hey, you quit! You said so yourself!” 

“Right. Also...well I don’t know. Maybe everything will be fine.” 

“Don’t you have like, a million brothers and sisters? Maybe you could stay with one of them.” 

“Yeah, maybe. We’ll see. I feel like it won’t be long before everyone realizes that Taylor and I are...um...not getting along.” 

“Right.”

“There’s just a lot of unknowns right now.” 

“You’re tellin’ me,” Frank responded, almost wishing they were drinking something stronger. The night certainly called for it. After the summer ended she would have to go back to New York, find a new place to live, get her stuff out of Matt’s apartment. She was not looking forward to any of that. She would most likely have to go back to her serving job, but at least she was good at it. At least she knew she could take a whole table of fussy New Yorkers and uncork bottles of wine without even looking and carry plates through a crowded restaurant with grace and ease. 

She figured she probably shouldn’t be commiserating with Zac, after claiming such fierce loyalty to his brother. She didn’t care at this point. Taylor was never going to choose her over Bella and she just needed to accept it, and stop feeling sorry for herself. She refused to let herself wallow, or cry, or even care. 

They sat in silence for a few moments, drinking water and letting the cool night air envelope them. It was almost peaceful. Frances realized that she had gone the entire summer without ever having a real conversation with the boy she was sitting next to, and yet they were so entwined in each other’s lives. 

“Can I tell you something?” She said, breaking the silence.

“Uh, sure, I guess.” 

“I really thought...like I really thought, that Taylor was going to leave Bella and be with me. Like I _really_ thought that. I had it all planned out in my head.” She started giggling at the absurdity of it all; at the mess she had made and the happy ending she thought she might get. 

“I mean...I think we all thought that, Frances.” 

“What?” 

“Taylor’s an idiot. I’m allowed to say that because I’ve known him my whole life.” 

“Right...brothers…” Frank had to admit, she often forgot that Taylor and Zac were related, simply because they were so different. 

“Yup. I grew up with the kid. And I probably shouldn’t be saying he’s an idiot when I am the one who slept with his girlfriend but...he’s an idiot.” 

Zac’s declaration made Frank laugh even harder, which made him start to chuckle. 

“I’m...I’m in love with him!” Frank sputtered through her laughter. “It’s so dumb! But I am!” 

“That’s not dumb! Those are your feelings! And they’re not unfounded, I mean the way he looks at you would make anyone fall in love with him. You should probably just tell him.” 

“What?!” 

“He clearly has feelings for you. I don’t know how else to convince you that I _know_ him. I know when he’s far gone for a girl. And he is. But not for his girlfriend. Taylor thinks Bella is safe, which is rich seeing as she’s a completely loose cannon but hey, no one asked me. You scare him, because he cares about you. A lot.” 

“Okay, I think that’s enough sobering up…” Frank started to get up from the curb but Zac grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. 

“Nope, we started this conversation, you don’t get to run away. I know you think you messed everything up for good. But...I don’t know...you were just trying to be their friend. They can’t fault you for that. Tell Taylor. What’s the worst that could happen?” 

Frank looked at Zac and wondered how in the world this could be the same boy that tried to hit on her on his first day at the company. 

“I did mess everything up.” 

“So?? Fix it.”

***

Frances spent the whole next day psyching herself up. She needed to get Taylor alone so she could talk to him. She needed to follow Zac’s advice. She needed to stop sitting back and letting everything happen to her.

She needed to fix it. 

The next afternoon, the company received an email saying that there were left overs from the VIP night, and if they wanted they could come to the rehearsal hall for a little impromptu get together. The company manager told them to bring board games and movies, making it a fun night after what turned out to be a stressful and dramatic event. She figured that could be a perfect opportunity to pull Taylor aside and tell him everything - that the first day they met she felt like her world shifted, that she felt more like herself when she was around him, that he made her smile harder than anyone…

“Get a hold of yourself, Frank,” she said in the mirror as she was getting ready to head over to the theatre. “Don’t make this a big deal.” 

She waited as long as she physically could before leaving the condo, trying her best to appear fashionably late. Of course, she ended up being one of the first ones there, and hid in the bathroom for a while, playing on her phone. When she started hearing more voices in the hallway, she emerged and made her way to the rehearsal hall. 

As soon as she stepped in the room she saw Taylor. He looked right at her and smiled. He didn’t motion for her to come over, and she knew why. He was standing dutifully next to Bella, who was deep in conversation with Veronica. 

She loaded a plate up with leftover appetizers and found Chad, one of the only people she knew wasn’t whispering about her and Taylor and Bella behind her back. 

The minutes dragged on. She kept a watchful eye on Taylor, trying to figure out a time when she could pull him into the hallway. She looked around wildly for some booze, but then thought better about it. Alcohol only ever confused the situation. 

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Frank saw Taylor walk out of the room. She waited a few seconds and then followed him, feeling ridiculous but doing it anyway. 

She followed his footsteps down to the pit, where he sat down at the piano and sighed, a helpless look on his face. 

“Hey,” she said, startling him. “Sorry…”

“Hey stalker,” he teased. The smile on his face seemed a bit sad. 

“What’s up?” 

“I just needed a break. I feel like I’m around people...a lot. Ya know?” 

“I do know. People are the worst.” 

Taylor’s laugh rang out in the empty theatre, and Frank couldn’t help but grin. Her heart fluttered violently in her chest. It was now or never. 

“Hey, Taylor? I know you’re not supposed to be talking to me so...um...I’m sorry I followed you down here, I just...I needed to talk to you.” 

He looked up from the piano keys and his clear blue eyes made her knees weaken. She took a deep breath, trying to strengthen her resolve. 

“I um...I just needed you to know that I…” she looked around the pit, searching for the words. “I just wanted to say that um...I’ve...I’ve had feelings for you for a while now and um...I think you have feelings for me too. And I know that nothing can happen. I understand that.” 

Taylor stared at her in shock.

“I know that nothing I say will change your mind and, honestly, I’m not sure that I want it to. You don’t...you don’t have to say anything, I know this is a lot. But I’ve done a lot of thinking..probably too much thinking...and I realize that it’s all just bad timing. Just horrible, awful timing. And that’s okay. That’s life. But...I’m in love with you.”

Taylor didn’t say anything. The look on his face made Frank’s heart pound even harder. 

“I just...I just needed you to know.”


	34. Violent Ends

#### 

Chapter Thirty Four - Bella 

Bella was trying. She really was. She had tried to give Frank a chance to salvage their friendship. She’d tried to give Zac space to get over her. Now, she found herself trying to trust that Taylor was taking a phone call like he said, instead of avoiding her. For all her efforts, she seemed to have very little to show for it.

She downed the rest of the champagne in her glass and surveyed the room. Everyone seemed so relaxed. So content. She tried to remember when she’d felt like them, before everything and everyone had disappointed her.

Of course, she knew she should be thanking her lucky stars that Taylor took her back. She wasn’t proud of what she had done. She knew that anyone looking at it from the outside would have no trouble labeling her the monster. Still, she couldn’t deny herself the small defense that she knew Taylor was pulling away from her. She knew he had some seed of affection for Frances growing slowly inside his all-too-susceptible heart. She had simply acted in self defense; screwing him before he screwed her. Any sane person could understand that, right?

Bella glanced toward the door again but Taylor didn’t appear. She looked down at her empty cup and moved to the counter to refill it. The Artistic Director came up beside her, smiling broadly.

“Thank you for handling that crew issue last night,” he spouted, already a few drinks in. “God knows, we don’t need anymore drama this summer. At least not the off-stage kind.”

“Right.” Bella forced a laugh and filled her cup. “I probably should have fired him earlier, if I’m being honest.”

“We don’t need to bring up...any of that...ever again,” he slurred. 

Bella gulped her champagne, hoping it might push down the surge of guilt she felt. She knew she needed to appear to be in control and unaffected. She plastered on a smile and clinked her cup against his.

“Cheers to that.”

She was relieved when he walked away. She thought about the night before. She could see Zac’s face in her mind’s eye; his defiant smirk he wore to hide his despair. She’d broken his heart. If there had been anything she could take back in the entire mess she’d made, it would be that. Everything else could be mended or eventually forgotten, but she could never fix that break. Once a heart cracks, no amount of glue or stitching can ever make it whole again. There will always be a scar. A scab that can be ripped open, reminding the heart that it is fallible. Vulnerable. Irreparable. 

Her head began to buzz with bubbly alcohol. She looked up at the door one more time. No Taylor. She decided to go find him and insist they head home. She’d had her fill of company members and just needed a break. She decided to head out the back, avoiding the annoying questions about whether she was leaving and why.

She pushed past a group of actors, shouting loudly at each other about some show they all watched, and made her way into the house. She could cut through and reach the back door much faster, skipping the maze of dressing rooms and hallways. 

She heard voices the moment she entered. The house lights were dim, but she notice the pit was fully illuminated. She made her way silently toward the front row, straining to make sense of the mumbles.

“...and I realize that it’s all just bad timing. Just horrible, awful timing. And that’s okay. That’s life. But...I’m in love with you.”

Frank’s voice.

Bella froze, suddenly hyper-aware of any sound she might emit through movement or breathing. She put her hand over her mouth for good measure and put all of her focus on listening.

“I just...I just needed you to know.”

There was a long pause, creating tension so thick, Bella could feel it too. She waited, her heart rattling away in her chest, until a second voice sounded.

“I...don’t know what to say.”

Taylor sounded meek and childlike in his reply. Bella’s head felt like it might spin off. She realized the degree to which she’d underestimated Frances Brooks. Here she was, believing that this girl was a pushover; a sad little fool who would surrender anything to be liked, including her own happiness. Frank was a girl who would rather be miserable if it meant she could smooth things over with everyone who’d wronged her. She was the girl who would apologize for taking a punch to the face too personally. 

How wrong Bella had been.

It had all been an act. She could see it all so clearly now; how every move Frank had made was self serving, moving her closer and closer to her ultimate goal. Bella’s blood boiled in her veins. She would not abide this level of deception. She wanted to explode right there, standing above the pit, staring down at her enemy before squashing her like a bug beneath her shoe. Taylor’s voice stopped her.

“I don’t….I think that...we can’t talk anymore.”

“You really mean that?” Frank’s voice was fragile and laced with disbelief. 

“It’s for the best.” Taylor was resolute. 

Bella felt triumphant. Hearing Taylor’s words gave her such a boost of confidence, she could have leapt across the pit to the stage. 

“Can you just tell me one thing?” Frank squeaked. “Did you ever feel… anything for me?”

“Frankie…”

“I deserve to know that, don’t I?” 

Bella couldn’t take it anymore. She hopped onto the edge of the pit and leaned over the guardrail, getting her first look at the two of them. Taylor was slumped at the piano and Frank stood in front of him, her arms crossed defensively.

“Answer her, Tay,” Belle said, loud enough to make them both jump in surprise. Taylor jumped to his feel, looking up at her like a cornered animal. “Let’s not drag this out, okay?”

“Bella, I…”

“Shut up, Frances. I heard your little confession. Let Taylor give you the closure you need so you can stop this charade.”

Bella watched Frank shrink into herself. She wasn’t going to attempt an excuse or a cover. Her reckoning was here and now she would have to accept it. 

“Frances,” Taylor said, his cheeks a deep red and his brow furrowed tightly. “I can’t talk to you anymore. I need you to leave me alone.”

Bella wanted to laugh at the whole thing. She wanted to laugh at Frank for ever entertaining the thought that Taylor would choose her. She wanted to laugh at Taylor for how sweetly he was delivering his devastating blows. She let a short cackle escape and it was met by a searing stare from Frank.

“What did you think he would say, Frances? What were you expecting to happen here? He’s never going to pick you. Stop trying to change that. It’s honestly so sad to watch.”

“Taylor?” Frank looked back at him, pleading for some clue that Bella might be wrong. He looked back at her, summoning all the power he could conjure into his voice and body. He was raising the axe and Frank had a front row seat to watch him bring it down.

“Frank, never talk to me again. Just...please stay away from me.”

“You don’t mean that….”

"I mean it.”

“Looks like you’ve got your answer, Frances.” 

Bella glared down at the crumpled little girl below her. Her face was wet with tears as she turned on her heels and bolted from the pit. Bella took a moment to relish in her satisfaction. She had known from day one that the girl would be trouble and now she felt refreshingly validated. 

“Tay, can we go now?” She finally turned her attention to him, once again slumped at the piano. She studied his face and his posture, wanting to explain away the shame and regret she could see in him. “I know that was hard, but you did the right thing.”

“The right thing for who?” he asked, sheepishly.

“For us, Tay,” she sighed. “Now can we leave?”

He looked up at her and for one fleeting second, she could visualize the rest of their lives: him, always reaching for her and her, holding him forcibly back from it all. She looked away swiftly, needed to dash the image before it took root in her brain. 

“I’ll meet you at the car,” he replied. She gave him a phony smile and pushed back from the guardrail, making her way toward the back door. She could hear the pit door slam shut below and she pictured Taylor letting himself sob for a bit over the death of his little crush.

She could be okay with that. He could cry if he wanted to, as long as he ended up back in her car, following her into her apartment, choosing her every time. She hopped into the driver’s seat and started the engine. She had so much adrenaline coursing through her body, she felt like she could run home. 

She wondered if she could entice Taylor into makeup sex, but she knew he wouldn’t be in the mood. If anything, he’d want to make love; soft and romantic; to convince himself he’d made the right choice. Bella wanted the opposite. She wanted something wild and aggressive, dangerous, forbidden.

She looked down at her phone and entertained the fantasy of texting Zac. She could beg his forgiveness, telling him she only did what she did to save her job. He would give in and she could release all the pent-up tension she was holding in every muscle and nerve. She could celebrate her victory in style.

The passenger door popped open and Taylor dropped into the seat, dashing her daydream. She could tell from the puffiness in his face that he’d been crying. She shook her head at the predictability of it all. She would accept his need to mourn for the evening. 

They drove back to her apartment in silence. Taylor got out of the car the instant they parked. Bella rolled her eyes as she got out and followed him to the door. 

“I’m going to go right to bed, if that’s okay,” he mumbled. 

“You’d did the right thing, Taylor,” she said, grabbing his hand. “For all of us.”

“Then why do I feel like a piece of garbage?”

Bella sighed and unlocked the door, letting them into the darkened apartment. Taylor moved past her and pulled off his shoes, dropping them by the door. She closed the door quietly behind him, carefully formulating her response.

“You’re just so nice, Tay,” she said at last. “You didn’t want to hurt her. But sometimes you have to hurt someone so they can move on. What you did was actually the nicest thing you could do. You let her move on.”

“Bella,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking deep into her eyes. “You and I both know that’s not true. The nicest thing would have been to tell her the truth.”

Bella felt her head spin. She wanted to be angry. She wanted to lose her temper at him for daring to speak of the thing she’d been working so hard to sweep under the rug. She wanted to shout at him about how he was the cause of the whole convoluted mess in the first place. She felt like screaming at the top of her lungs that she blamed him for all of it, whether that made logical sense or not. Instead, she put out the fire before it could rage. She stared back at him, determined to maintain her higher ground.

“I know.”

They stood, looking at each other for a long moment, letting everything unspoken float in the air between them. Bella moved to the bedroom and shut the door, letting Taylor spend the night on the couch.


	35. Determined to Prove a Villain

#### 

Chapter Thirty Five - Frances 

Frances felt like she could breathe for the first time in days when her plane finally touched down at LaGuardia. 

The feeling didn’t last long. 

As soon as she had taken her final bow at OCP, she packed up everything on her dressing room table and booked it out of the theatre before she could be swept up in any closing night hugs. Emotions were running high - the summer rep coming to an end, the lovely, summer camp like bubble bursting, the actors and technicians saying goodbye to each other, hoping that they might work together on another production in the future. 

Frances had never been good at that kind of stuff. She preferred to make a quiet exit so that no one would see her leave. She didn’t like the weight of goodbyes. She felt like they came with a lot of pressure to be genuine, to be sad, to not be completely relieved that she was finally leaving Oklahoma and the mess she had made in her wake. 

She rushed to actor housing and shoved everything into her suitcase and backpack. She didn’t plan on sleeping that night, since her flight the next morning was so early. She would just hang out in her room until it was time to go, call a cab, and get away from OCP. She made coffee so she could stay up and pack, guzzling it like it was already morning. 

She stepped out onto the sidewalk outside of baggage claim, cars weaving in and out of the pick up line, cabs in a long line stretching off into the distance, and people all around. The air was different in New York. Everything felt a little less idyllic, but a little more honest. A man ran into her shoulder and didn't apologize. A woman next to her was yelling into her cell phone, trying to convince her uber driver not to drop the ride. A baby was crying somewhere to her left. Horns were honking and there was the smell of exhaust in the air. She took a deep breath, trying to will herself to step into the cab line, but she couldn’t seem to move. _Just go get in a taxi_ , she kept ordering herself, but the problem was, when she got into a car she had no idea what address she would give the cabbie. The rest of her stuff was at Matt’s apartment. That is, if he hadn’t burned it or given it away or thrown it out the window. She had other friends, mostly people she worked at the restaurant with. The restaurant. She made a mental note to go in the next day so she could beg for her job back. She needed to start making money if she was going to find a new place to live. She looked down at her phone, hoping it would unlock some secrets for her, but the screen was blank.

***

_Hey I’m back from Oklahoma. Can I come by and get my stuff?_

She had typed out and deleted the message at least twelve times before the cab pulled up outside of her old apartment building. She still had a key to the place, but she knew she couldn’t just barge in. Furthermore, once she had all of her stuff, she didn’t exactly know what she was going to do with it. She already had a big suitcase with her. She almost turned around and got back in the cab, but it had already driven away by the time the idea came to her. She looked up at the building and the breath caught in her throat. Before she knew it, her knees were crumpling beneath her, and she was crying helplessly on the stoop. 

She let the sobs come; she knew it was pointless to try and stop them. She rarely ever let herself cry. She hadn’t cried once about the whole situation with Taylor, telling herself again and again that it wasn’t a tragedy, that it was a beautiful summer of friendship, even if it did end badly. But nothing could stop the tears now; the floodgates were open. Her tears collected on her t-shirt and in her hair, matting it against her neck. She couldn’t get the voice out of her head: _you messed this up so badly. YOU messed this up so badly._

“...Frances?” 

She turned her bloodshot, tear filled eyes up and saw Matt standing over her, perplexed by her unabashed outpouring of emotion. 

“Oh...my God um...I’m…” 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I was um…” she wiped her face furiously and stood up, attempting to smoothe her now rumpled clothes. She knew she must look like a complete lunatic. “I wanted to know if I could get the rest of my stuff.” 

Frances had imagined this moment a thousand different ways, but she never expected Matt to simply nod and motion for her to come up, mirroring her defeated expression. She followed him up the stairs, still not totally sure what she would do with all of her stuff once it was out of the apartment. As they were still ascending the stairs, she quickly texted a couple people from the restaurant, asking if she could crash for the night. 

When they reached the apartment, the smell of the place overwhelmed her. Her body was a swarm of different memories and emotions, and part of her wanted to just come crawling back to what was comfortable. What was known. But she knew she couldn’t do that. There wasn’t just the fact that Matt would never take her back after what had happened, it was the fact that something had cracked open inside of her, and she could never just...go back to how it was before. For better or for worse, Taylor had opened up something, and she didn’t have the power to close it again. 

She stepped into the bedroom and noticed all of her clothes laying in a heap in the corner. The sight made fresh tears spring to her eyes that she willed not to fall. She didn’t want Matt to only see her as a weepy mess, even if that was exactly what she had become. She fetched her bigger suitcase out of the closet and went to work packing. 

“So how is he?” Matt asked, venom dripping from his voice. Frances didn’t even turn around. 

“Who?” 

“The guy you left me for.” 

She paused her folding. “...What are you talking about?” 

“I’m not stupid, Frances. We’re still friends on Facebook. Taylor?” 

She dropped the shirt she was holding and leaned her head back, half in exasperation, half to keep the tears from falling. 

“I didn’t...I didn’t leave you for him, Matt. That wasn’t...that’s not what happened.” 

“Okay so you just started dating him like what, the day after we broke up?” 

Frances’ body surprised her with the reaction. Instead of dissolving into tears, she yelped with laughter. It bubbled up inside of her and overflowed out of her throat. She couldn’t stop. 

“We um…” she gasped between outbursts, “we were never dating. We just were being idiots. Nothing...yeah we um...yeah, never dated.” 

She turned to look at Matt and he looked at her as though he was observing a certifiably insane person, which...maybe he was. That’s certainly what she felt like. She felt like everything was collapsing in on her but for some reason, in that moment, she found it terribly funny. 

“But I will tell you one thing, Matthew. I did ruin everything! Just like I ruined everything for you, right? I’m a ruiner. It’s cool, I get it now. I’ll be out of your hair and your life as soon as I pack this fucking suitcase. I have no idea where I’m gonna go with any of this shit so whatever I can’t pack just throw away, honestly. WOOOO okay. Give me ten minutes, I’ll be gone.” She could feel herself spiralling out, every wall collapsing, all her sense of control dissolving here on the floor of her old apartment. And through all of it, she kept laughing. 

“Frances…” 

“Nope! Nope, nope, nope, none if this is for sympathy let me just….let me just pack. Please.”

***

The next day, Frances woke up on her friend Maggie’s couch, got dressed, and headed straight to the Upper East Side. She walked into the restaurant, was greeted with excited hugs, and asked to be put back on the schedule. Everyone was so happy to see her and hear she was coming back to work. It felt good to be valued. She relished in it for a few moments before heading back out to the crowded street.

She headed back to Maggie’s and opened up her laptop, immediately beginning her search for a new apartment now that her job was secured. She waved to Maggie when she got up for her lunch shift, and graciously accepted some coffee. She turned on the TV so there would be some background noise. She kept it on all day, until Maggie got home from her double. She fell back asleep on the couch. 

She would be fine. She would have to be.


	36. An Infinite Deal of Nothing

#### 

Chapter Thirty Six - Taylor 

The night _Romeo and Juliet_ closed, Taylor went back to Bella’s apartment, opened his laptop, and deleted Frances Brooks from his friend’s list. It felt like a bigger deal than it should have, it was only Facebook. But it felt final. After all, that was where it all started. He saw her online and started messaging her and before they knew it they were talking about everything and creating inside jokes and discussing their favorite TV shows. He was glad he had a few beers in his system from the closing night party to dull the ache. 

Now that the summer rep was over, Taylor had a choice to make. He could stay in Oklahoma City with Bella and try to find a job, or he could go back to Tulsa, where things were just slightly less complicated. He and Bella had vowed to take it slow, and yet he knew what his choice would end up being. He knew he would move in to her apartment and they would play house for a while, pretending like this summer never happened. 

And so, a few weeks later, he found himself completely moved into Bella’s place, on the job hunt. He posted up every day at the coffee shop down the street from the theatre, laptop open, sending emails and making calls in an attempt to book a gig. He didn’t want to work at OCP again. Maybe ever. He was too ashamed of how the whole summer had played out, even if he was proud of the music he had composed for the production. 

Bella continued on as the resident stage manager, and Taylor eventually started booking gigs here and there. He played at restaurants downtown on weekends and started teaching piano lessons. The dust had finally settled. Everything was going to be okay. 

And yet...there was something wrong; something missing. On paper and social media, Taylor’s life looked pretty good. Great, even. But nothing actually excited him or made him happy. He and Bella never talked about anything of substance, which reminded him almost daily of the person who never failed to make him open up, even if he didn’t want to. Bella and Taylor orbited around each other in the apartment, keeping opposite schedules and rarely seeing each other during the day. They cooked separate meals, coming and going at different times. During the winter months, he chalked it up to the grey skies and dreary weather, but once spring blossomed and he was still trudging through his days, he realized there might be something actually wrong. 

Bella wasn’t home most of the time, due to her job at the theatre, and Taylor didn’t particularly mind. He even would have preferred it if if wasn’t for the events of the summer that always seemed to be in the back of his brain. He knew she was probably just at rehearsals whenever she wasn’t home, but there was the image of her phone, of Zac’s texts, forever branded on his memory. He came to terms with the fact that he would never trust her again. The suspicion constantly ate away at him, and he often fought the urge to check her phone. The one time he tried, he found out that she had changed her passcode.

***

“Wanna do something tonight?” Taylor asked from his side of the bed when he finally woke up. Bella was already up and getting dressed, stopping every few minutes to respond to a text. 

“Maybe! I’ll see. I gotta do some pre-production stuff for the next show.” 

She didn’t look at him once. He sighed and let his head fall back down on the pillow. She was being weird, but not any weirder than usual, he decided. 

“Okay,” he responded flatly. He had a couple lessons this afternoon, which would keep his mind off of how boring his relationship had become. At least for a few hours.

That night he waited patiently for Bella to come home, flipping through channels and scrolling online until he felt like his brain was going to fall out of his skull. When the boredom got to be too much, he leapt up from the couch, changed his clothes, and drove to Three Birds. _Fuck it, I can go out by myself_ , he thought, wondering if he would run into anyone from the company at the bar. 

He sidled up to the bar and ordered a drink. The night was still young but there were plenty of people there. He thought he saw some actors from seasons past over at the large corner table. It felt good to be here, he decided. It was better than sitting at home waiting for his girlfriend to come back and ignore him for the rest of the night. 

As though he had conjured her, at that exact moment he saw Bella at the other end of the bar, back to him, tossing her long dark hair over her shoulder. She was with a guy - laughing and very clearly flirting, touching his knee. Taylor wondered if he should even go over and make his presence known, and then laughed at the fact that he even had to think about it. _This is all such a fucking joke_ , he thought, finally getting up and walking over to what looked like, at least to an outside eye, a date. 

“Hey Bella!” he said cheerfully. 

She froze and he watched as the wheels turned in her head, trying to get out of the situation, trying to calculate some perfect excuse. 

The guy she was with was clearly an actor. Taylor knew the type. It also didn’t escape him that Bella’s newest prey looked a lot like his younger brother. He laughed at the predictability of it all. 

“Taylor…” 

“What’s going on guys?” Taylor continued, his false cheer making his seem somewhat maniacal. 

“Bella, who is this?” The guy asked, clearly clueless. 

“I’m her boyfriend.” 

Taylor grabbed Bella’s hand and yanked her off the barstool, through the bar, and out to the parking lot. For months, he had stuffed everything he had been feeling down deep inside of him, but the sight of Bella at the other end of that bar had cracked something open. He spun around to face her. 

“What the fuck, Bella?!” 

“Taylor, I can explain.” 

“Can you!? What could you possibly say to explain the fact that you cheated on me again. Come on.” 

“I JUST WANT THINGS BACK TO HOW THEY WERE,” Bella shouted, her voice echoing off the pavement. 

Taylor took a few deep breaths, the initial rage subsiding. “What do you mean?”

“I just. I miss how it was before.” 

“Before what? Before we were dating? Before you were my girlfriend? When we were just fuck buddies?” 

“No I mean like...I still want to be with you, Taylor I just….”

“You want to fuck other guys.” 

“People have open relationships all the time…”

“Bella…”

“It’s not that that weird! I think we could make it work!” 

“BELLA.” 

She stopped talking. 

“I can’t do this anymore. You’ve made it glaringly obvious that I’m not enough for you.” 

“Taylor, come on…”

“No. We’re done.”


	37. Fiend Angelical, Dove Feather Raven

#### Chapter Thirty Seven - Zac

“Zac…Zachary?? Wake up, your life is calling. It’s saying ‘get up ya bum’. It’s almost 10am!”

“Isaac, would you shut up?!”

Zac had lived with his oldest brother for six months, a fraction of the time they’d lived together as kids, yet somehow it seemed like an eternity. He rolled over to find Isaac standing above him, holding the sheets he’d so cruelly snatched away and scowling.

“I’m going to need you to get up and take a shower, Zac.”

“What? Leave me alone! It’s Saturday.”

“It is Saturday and it’s also the day that your amazing brother landed you an interview in the I.T. department at La Monde. Get up!”

“La Monde? Isn’t that the place where Nikki works? The makeup place?”

“As a matter of fact, it is! Way to keep your ears open! Now let’s go!”

Isaac grabbed Zac’s feet and swung them over the side of the bed. He wasn’t pulling any punches. Zac relented and sat up, the sunlight burning is sleep-riddled eyes. Ike was already buried deep inside the closet, searching for any article of clothing that might be remotely presentable for an interview. He emerged, empty handed.

“What if I don’t want to work in I.T. at your girlfriend’s makeup company?” Zac whined, rubbing his face and picking the sleep from his eyes. 

“The real question should be why wouldn’t you? Your freeloading days have come to an end, Zachary. You’re getting a job so you can pay your way around here for once.” Isaac checked his watch. “You’ll have to borrow a shirt and tie from me. Get up and shower!”

Zac sighed heavily, knowing there was no chance he would get out of this. Ike had gone easy on him when he first begged to move in. News traveled fast in their family and it hadn’t taken long for almost everyone to side with Taylor. Zac knew Isaac was the only one who might take pity, his oldest-brother-saviour complex taking hold over all else. Taylor didn’t need saving. He was living with Bella in their ridiculous little game of house. Zac was the one who was left jobless, homeless and without a thing to show for it.

Isaac’s longtime girlfriend, Nikki, had been Zac’s biggest ally in the beginning. She had patted Ike on the arm and given him a flawless puppy-dog pout he couldn’t resist.

“Fine, you can move in,” he’d said to his little brother. “But you’re getting a job, paying rent and making dinner once a month.”

Nikki had smiled and kissed Ike on the cheek, making his dad-like exterior melt away. Zac remembered thinking that the two of them looked so right together. After a summer of dysfunction and heartbreak, he appreciated the reminder that there were still couples who were made for each other. Love did exist. 

Since that night, Zac _had_ tried to get a job. He’d interviewed for busboy and dishwasher positions, overnight stockroom jobs, pizza delivery and even a dog-walking gig, but nothing panned out. Either he didn’t have enough experience, or they couldn’t get past the sheer number of times he’d been fired. After two months solid of rejection after rejection, he’d given up.

He would spend his days on Ike’s couch, scrolling online or playing XBox. When his brother and Nikki came home, he’d spin tales of job searches and frustration, fully aware that they could see right through him. He’d even failed to keep his word to make a monthly dinner. He knew he was to blame for each lie and every broken promise and that made him feel like the lowest of lifeforms. The scum on the bottom of a sponge left untouched in a dirty shower. 

Still, he’d continued to wallow and lie and fail. What else could he do? He’d gotten so good at ruining things. At least he was good at something.

Ike came bounding back into the room, arms full of dress shirts, ties and jackets. Zac pulled himself into a standing position and stared at his brother.

“You win,” he sighed. “I’ll go.”

“Damn right you will,” Ike smiled, dumping the pile of clothing onto the bed. “Now, shower!”

***

“Jan said he was brilliant,” Nikki gushed, taking a sip from her martini glass and lacing her arm around Ike. She beamed at Zac like a proud mother, lighting up the entire bar. She had insisted they go out to celebrate and had chosen one of the swankiest bars in all of Tulsa, forcing Zac to remain in the stuffy clothes he’d borrowed.

“I don’t know about brilliant,” he joked, trying not to seem as pleased with himself as he was. 

The interview had gone so well, it surprised him. It turned out he knew a lot more about computers than he realized and the hiring manager had been overjoyed to find him. She’d offered him the job on the spot, citing that Nikki’s recommendation outweighed his lack of experience.

“Just don’t screw it up,” Nikki said with a wink.

“Thank you,” he replied, knowing she was only half teasing. “And I won’t. Not this time.”

“So, when do you start?” Isaac’s fatherly tone returned and Zac reminded himself not to take offense. After all, he was the one in debt here.

“Monday morning,” he answered, once again suppressing a smile. 

He hadn’t expected to feel so good about the job, but he was beginning to realize that it meant he could start feeling good about himself again. Things felt like they were finally on an upswing.

Nikki began to chatter away excitedly about all the people he would meet; who to befriend and who to watch out for. Zac finished a couple beers without realizing it until his head felt swimmy and his cheeks hurt from smiling.

“Nikki, hi!” A pretty blonde in a tight skirt was standing by their table, leaning over to give Nikki a hug. Zac was captivated by her instantly. He watched her greet Ike and then squeeze into the seat beside him. The three of them were exchanging various pleasantries but Zac couldn’t focus on anything but her crystal blue eyes.

“Kendall, this is Ike’s brother, Zac.”

Nikki’s introduction snapped him out of his haze and he sat up nervously, flashing her a dopey smile and shaking her hand.

“Nice to meet you,” he managed, hoping she didn’t notice the subtle slur.

“You too!” Kendall tossed her head to the side and pushed a golden strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Nikki.”

Zac could feel his cheeks flush and he looked to Nikki, who gave him a subtle but reassuring nod. It was then that he realized she’d set this up. First a job, then a blind date. Nikki knew how to pack in a day.

“Kendall’s in PR,” Ike quipped, trying to seem like he was in on things. “And she’s got black belt.”

“Thanks for highlighting my most important qualities, Isaac.”

Zac watched the way her face lit up when she smiled and it made him feel warm and tingly. The four of them talked, hopping from topic to topic with ease. Zac started to feel like he could belong in a life like this. Normal people with normal jobs and hobbies. They made organization and nine-to-five schedules seem comforting. Maybe even fun.

Kendall was mature and straight forward. She didn’t seem like the type to play games. She spoke of her job with authority and passion. She liked concerts and skiing; animals and the beach. She laughed at all of Zac’s attempts at jokes. After over an hour of banter, he was beginning to really like her.

Ike and Nikki had taken over the conversation, recounting some wild story about their vacation to Prague a year ago. Zac took the moment to fish his phone from his pocket. Once he had her undivided attention again, he planned to ask Kendall for her phone number. He’d built enough liquid courage to ask outright and he waited for a lull in the conversation.

He watched Ike flailing his hands in the air, doing his best impression of the hapless waiter in his story. Zac laughed along, but his focus was on his mission. He looked down at his phone to open his contacts in preparation, but the text notification on the screen caught his eye.

Bella.

He hadn’t heard from or spoken to her since the night he quit. He felt his stomach twist into a knot and his buzz turned into a dull headache. He’d spent many sleepless nights wishing she would contact him. When he first moved back to Tulsa, she was all he’d thought about. He’d kept her as his little secret, his messed up fantasy of the one that would never be. He hated himself for it but it didn’t stop him from obsessively playing his dream scenarios over and over in his head. She would call and beg him to be with her. Or he would be lazily distracted by the XBox when she would knock on the door and declare that she was wrong. He knew there was no chance of his daydreams becoming reality, but he’d clung to them for ages, letting them rip into him, shredding away pieces of him until he felt like nothing at all. 

At some point the whole routine had become so exhausting, he’d had to give it up. It was too hard and he’d lost too much to continue. He pushed any thought of Bella Bailey so far down into the archives of his brain, he’d forgotten where he’d stored them.

Now, seeing her name on his phone ripped the files open and sent them scattering, covering everything else in a cascading mess. He found that his hands had seized up, unable to articulate the movement to open the message.

“Is everything okay, Zac?” Kendall’s voice broke him from his shocked stupor. She looked genuinely concerned and it bothered him.

“Yeah, yeah…” he struggled, forcing a dismissive laugh. “I’ve just...uh...I need to take this call.”

He didn’t wait for a response. He squeezed through the crowded lounge and made his way through the front door, cursing his own weakness as he went. When he was finally outside and away from his party’s eyes, he took a deep breath.

_I wish I’d known how much I would miss you._

Zac felt a wave of anger rise from his gut into his chest. He wanted to punch something. Or scream in frustration at the sky. It had nothing to do with the words Bella sent him, so carefully and deliberately crafted to hook him like a fish. It had nothing to do with the words at all. 

He lifted his phone and frantically texted her back. 

_you have no idea how much i miss you too_

He hit send without thinking. His fury rose when he caught his own reflection in the window of the lounge. He was a weak and predictable fool and he hated himself for it. He looked at his phone and then at his reflection again, then turned and walked toward home.


	38. Some Kind of Hope

#### Chapter Thirty Eight - Frances

It didn’t take long for Frances to fall back into her routine. The summer at OCP seemed like some sort of fever dream; one that she was only reminded of when she was tagged in a production photo or got an email announcing the next show. She worked tirelessly at the restaurant, picking up extra shifts whenever her schedule allowed. She went to a couple auditions, but nothing came of them. She found a place in Harlem with two other girls (she was never doing a male roommate again), who rarely ever bothered her. She checked a new book out from the library every week. On nice days she walked through Central Park instead of taking the cross town bus.

Everything was fine. 

She let herself think about Taylor, but not too much. She thought she saw him on the subway a couple times, and it simultaneously made her heart flutter and sink. It was never him. Every so often, when the weather was nice in the city and she let her pale, freckly arms out into the sunlight, she would think back on the golden days of summer before everything went sour. Sitting for hours on the patio of the coffee shop, emerging from the overly air conditioned rehearsal hall to spend a few hours in the park, humid night air surrounding them while they laughed into their drinks at Three Birds. Sometimes, Frank wasn’t sure if the summer had actually been that idyllic or if she was just romanticizing it in her head. She constantly had to remind herself that for the most part, she had spent the summer alone. Alone and pining. 

But it was fine, she convinced herself. She took the lack of closure and stuffed it deep within her, letting it bubble over every so often. One rainy afternoon she took scissors to her long hair and before she knew it, her copper locks were cropped close to her chin. She cleaned her room with laser like focus and intensity, scrubbing the wooden floors until her fingers were raw. On more than one occasion she found herself four years deep into Bella’s photos on Facebook. Whenever that happened, she would lose hours and suddenly realize, well into the night, that she was acting like a certified lunatic. Bella didn’t care about her. She shouldn’t care this much about Bella. 

Nothing about her life was exceptionally great, but it was fine. She was fine.

***

“Later!” Frank called out to the servers and busboys, heading out into the cool spring night. She had closed at the restaurant and her feet were killing her, but the weather was nice and she didn’t want to get on the subway just yet. She would walk around the park to Columbus Circle, she decided. She could use the fresh air.

She wiggled her way into her light jacket and closed her eyes for a moment, taking in the feel of the breeze that ruffled her hair. It was late, closing in on midnight, but in New York that didn’t really matter. There were still plenty of people on the street. She took out her phone and mindlessly opened the Facebook app while she walked. 

_Bella Bailey (15 minutes ago) - I’ve been crying for 12 hours straight into a prompt book and I need a drink or ten._

Frances rolled her eyes at the dramatics. She wasn’t sure why she was even still friends with Bella on Facebook, but she couldn’t bring herself to unfriend her. 

Underneath the status was a string of comments. “You okay?” “I’m here if you need me!” “Sending you positive vibes.” 

“What in the world happened…” Frances muttered under her breath as she turned on to 59th street. She scrolled down, trying to find any hints as to what the status was all about. She combed through every post, but couldn’t find anything. She scrolled back up to the top of her profile and switched over to Twitter, where she found a barrage of melodramatic tweets. She wished she could just text her. She also wished she didn’t care. 

Before she knew it she was on the other side of the park, and descended down to the Columbus Circle subway station. She pocketed her phone and attempted to think about anything else. Only a minute passed before she fished her phone back out and texted Chad, the only person she could think of to contact. 

_Did you see Bella’s super intense Facebook status?! What’s that about?_

She knew she wasn’t being subtle, and that anyone would see right through her curiosity. But she had to know. She didn’t even know why, but she had to. 

_Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh….That girl is too much._

She didn’t want to sound crazy, so she let it go until she got back to her apartment, where she immediately opened her laptop and once again began searching for anything to point her to what happened. She didn’t know why she felt so nosy and curious. But she did know that this was the first time she had actually _felt_ anything since she got back from Oklahoma at the end of the summer. Her heart was racing and her mind was reeling and in a strange way it felt good. Desperate. At least a nice change of pace from the mindless monotony of putting in drink orders and running food. 

An hour in to her search and still nothing. She looked around desperately, wondering if her mind would ever quiet. Before she could even process it, her phone was in her hands and she was texting Bella. 

_Hey I saw your status. I know we don’t really talk anymore but...are you okay?_

“Fuck,” Frank whispered into the dark. She wasn’t quite sure what had come over her. She and Bella weren’t friends anymore. But...they had been. Right? They definitely had been. There were a few weeks of perfect balance before the scales were tipped and Frank realized her feelings for Taylor and Bella started drifting and then everything went wrong. 

She gasped as she saw the three dots pop up below her text, signalling that Bella was typing. 

_You’re sweet. Thank you for thinking of me. I’m fine. But I could use a drink. Breakups suck._

Frank looked at the screen in awe. She kept waiting for the next message to come through, dripping with contempt. Something along the lines of “I bet you’re happy now,” or “he’s all yours, bitch,” but nothing came. The vice around her heart loosened, ever so slightly. 

She had a million questions. Who broke up with who? What in the world could Bella have done that was worse than cheating on Taylor with his brother? Or maybe...maybe it was Taylor that had messed up this time. After all, he had almost cheated on Bella with her just months before, and clearly Bella was the one who was upset. 

_I’m so sorry Bella._

She sent the text and thought maybe she could salvage something of this friendship. After all, they had something to bond over - Taylor Hanson had broken both of their hearts.


	39. Upon My Soul, A Lie

#### Chapter Thirty Nine - Bella 

Bella stared at her messages, as if her compulsive scrolling would somehow make them come alive. She’d garnered enough attention on social media from curious busy bodies who sent their condolences. Still, she knew how superficial it all was. In her day-to-day reality, nobody cared much whether she was coping or not.

So, when Frank’s text had popped up, it had thrown her completely. The two of them weren’t exactly on good terms. They hadn’t spoken a single word that wasn’t show related as Frank finished her contract. She was the last person Bella expected to hear from.

Her first thought had been that this was a ploy to find out if Taylor was single. Bella knew better than anyone the games that people play when they have something to gain. She knew her former friend would have a vested interest in her breakup.

Still, Frank’s actual words told a different story. Bella found herself wondering if she actually cared. Perhaps Frank wanted to be sure that, despite all the craziness and the drama, Bella was doing alright. That’s what friends are supposed to do. Frank had always made the effort, even when Bella did everything she could to discount it. Maybe there was something salvageable in this mess she’d made. 

Bella opened the text and read the message over and over.

_I’m so sorry Bella._

It seemed so genuine. It felt good to read it. No one else would be texting.

Bella sat in her apartment, a shell of a place that once felt full of purpose and comfort. She’d had a long day, with rehearsals and meetings. She wanted to relax with a glass of wine and clear her mind, but she was overcome with loneliness. So overcome, that she found her fingers hovering over her phone, trying to justify a response to the girl she essentially blamed for her breakup in the first place.

_Can we talk?_

She typed the words and then stared at them in horror. She couldn't send that. She deleted it quickly, wondering if there were any chance Frank was watching the little reply bubble appear and then vanish. The thought made her skin crawl. Still, she didn’t know who else she could turn to. 

“What a mess,” she said aloud, taking another swig of wine. She went back to scrolling through her messages, searching for any other option.

She missed Taylor. Not their relationship, really. Just the companionship. She knew she couldn’t text him and expect an answer. That bridge had burned completely and there was no other way to reach him. She scrolled again.

She found her exchange with Zac and rolled her eyes, chugging the rest of the wine in her glass. She had developed a terrible habit of texting Zac whenever she’d had too much to drink. Those late nights at the theatre, spending too much time with a certain actor would sometimes leave her frustrated and longing for control. Zac’s was the first number she’d try every time.

Now that life had become more sobering, she’d stopped trying to keep him talking. She didn’t need a way out anymore because one had been forced on her. None of it seemed all that thrilling anymore. 

The rest of her messages were work related; late actors and meeting notes. It was blatantly clear to her that she had no one. No one except the girl who started it all. 

She sighed, letting the warm buzz from the wine wash over her. She composed the perfect text to Frank.

_I really need someone to talk to. A friend._

She hit send and waited.

***

“You’re especially chipper this morning,” Chad said, eyeing Bella suspiciously. “Tell me everything.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” she quipped, flipping through the stack of post-its on her prompt book. 

“Girl, you’ve been moping around here everyday for weeks like somebody killed your puppy and now, here you are, all smiles. We’re starting tech today! Did you miss that memo? Now, spill it.”

Bella rolled her eyes, but deep down she was basking in the positive attention being heaped on her. She had become accustomed to being treated like a monster. Everyone in the company knew she’d cheated on Taylor and that was why he’d dumped her. She stopped what she was doing and looked up at Chad.

“I think I’m friends with Frank again.”

“Um...what?” Chad’s face fell into judgment and Bella winced.

“Look, I know you two probably still talk so I’m sure you know how...unfriendly...I was to her.”

“Unfriendly?” Chad guffawed, making her feel two feet tall.

“I’m not proud of my behavior. She probably had no idea what hit her once everything went south. It was just so much easier for me to blame her, you know?”

“Bella Bailey, are you growing a conscience?”

“Shut up,” she laughed, giving him a playful punch in the arm. “I guess I’m just trying to move on. Taylor is gone and I’m to blame for that.”

Chad nodded with enthusiasm and she slugged him in the arm harder. 

“Ouch!”

“You’re not supposed to agree with me!” She glared at him while he rubbed his arm and shrugged.

“Well, when the shoe fits….”

“Call me Cinderella?”

“So, tell me how you managed to get poor Frances Brooks to talk to you again.”

“I asked her if I could vent to her about...everything.”

“Everything?”

“Okay, Taylor.”

“Oh god, Bella, really? Is that really a good idea?”

“I needed someone to talk to!”

“And you thought she would be the ideal shoulder to cry on!?”

“I thought...I guess I thought she was the only one who could really understand.”

Bella dropped her head, uncomfortable with the vulnerability she was allowing to show. She had known Chad for years but they’d never been the kind of friends who confided in each other. She felt ashamed for letting her mask slip so easily. She took a deep breath and flipped her hair, trying to appear unaffected. Chad remained unconvinced.

“You guys are more screwed up than I thought.” He gave her a pitiful pat on the head and she had to resist the urge to sock him in the jaw. He skipped away, apparently satisfied with the amount of gossip she’d provided. She wondered if she would ever find people any less exhausting.

Once she was alone, she fished her phone out of her pocket. She stared at the texts she’d exchanged with Frank the night before. She gave herself a mental lashing for turning five simple lines into a rekindled friendship.

_9:47pm_  
_I really need someone to talk to. A friend._

_Frank, 9:51pm_  
_Sure, any time._

_9:52pm_  
_Thanks for reaching out to me. That was really big of you._

_Frank, 10:01pm_  
_Well we were friends at one point, right?_

_10:03pm_  
_We were. I’d like to be again._

Bella wondered if she had come off as too desperate. Perhaps Frank was laughing at her for being alone. Perhaps she had been talking to Taylor and knew about what happened between them. Worst of all, perhaps Frank had told Chad all about everything and that had led him to pry moments ago. Bella felt like a crazy person, building an elaborate conspiracy theory in her head where everyone was out to get her. 

Knowing it was crazy didn’t make her feel any less anxious. She shoved her phone deep into her bag and plastered on a smile. She would pour all of her nervous energy into tech rehearsal today. She would do anything and everything she could to avoid thinking about it. 

A few of the actors wandered onto the stage, running lines while they waiting for rehearsal to begin. They were giggling and filled with joy, enjoying their time together. Bella wondered how they made it look so easy. One of them looked out into the house and made eye contact with her. 

Bella watched the actor’s mouth turn down and his eyes fill with pity. The look only lasted a second, but it felt like eternity. Nobody looked at her and thought she seemed like someone to giggle with. At this point, it seemed like nobody looked at her at all, if they could help it.

“Fuck ‘em,” she thought, going back to her post-it stack. It was tech week. She didn’t have time to be lonely

_***_

Rehearsal had flown by. The show wasn’t particularly tech heavy and Bella had been on the ball all day. The entire company seemed grateful to finish on schedule and everyone was scattering off, shouting out plans to meet at Three Birds across the parking lot.

Bella was about to duck into her car when one of the crew members started waving in her direction. She stopped and was about to wave back, hoping to be included in the evening’s plans. Then she noticed the group of other crew members behind her. The invitation wasn’t for her and she dropped into the car and slammed the door, trying not to get upset. 

She had never needed an invitation before, but that was when she had Taylor on her side. Now, she was an island. An invisible and inaccessible island that no one wanted to visit anyway. She started the car and drove home, craving more wine and maybe a lobotomy. 

She had just parked when her phone buzzed. She looked down in shock to see Frank’s name. Her self-pity party had been in full swing; there wasn’t room for anything else. Still, she felt her pulse quicken as she opened it to read.

_Frank, 5:38pm_  
_You okay?_

It was like she knew somehow, across the miles between Oklahoma and NYC. Bella felt like she could cry. She needed this to work out in her favor. She needed Frank to take her side because no one else would. She knew it was now or never.

_5:40pm_  
_Long day. I’m glad to hear from you though!_

_Frank, 5:42pm_  
_Just checking in. I meant it when I said you can talk to me._

_5:43pm_  
_You sure you want to hear about all this?_

_Frank, 5:45pm_  
_Of course. Do you want to tell me what happened?_

Bella took a deep breath and held it. She had been waiting for this question. She knew that Frank must have a million questions. If she really was trying to fix their friendship, she figured she needed to give her the answer she needed to hear, truthful or not.

_5:48pm_  
_I hate to say anything that might influence your opinion but… you should probably hear it from me first. Taylor cheated on me. I caught him and had to break it off. After all we’d been through…I’m devastated._

Bella looked at her little fib. It felt good to read the words and she could almost believe them. She heard the faint call of guilt from deep inside her mind, but she ignored it. Instead, she tried to picture Frank’s face as she read. She would be shocked. She would want to call Bella’s bluff. In the end, however, she would have to believe it. It wasn’t as if Taylor would set the record straight. 

The little typing bubbles appeared and then vanished once, then twice. Bella found peace in the moment. It didn’t matter how Frank replied; Bella felt like she’d finally found a foothold on this crumbling slope.

She hauled herself inside to drink the rest of her wine and relish in her lie for the night.


	40. The Quality of Mercy

#### Chapter Forty - Taylor 

“Morning sunshine!”

Taylor rolled his eyes at his older brother, who was sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee, already dressed in a suit and tie. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would end up living with both Isaac and Zac again, but here he was, back in Tulsa with nowhere to go. 

“I promise it won’t be for long,” Taylor had pleaded with Isaac when he showed up on his front porch. “I have money saved, unlike our other brother.” 

And so, Isaac opened his door, because you never turn away from family. That was what he kept saying, anyway, whenever tensions rose between Zac and Taylor. Taylor had to admit, having Ike around helped a lot. There was a kind of balance between the three of them - they each had their role, and before long, things started evening out. 

That didn’t mean they didn’t have their fair share of fights. The first week had been rough. Spats broke out over the stupidest, most trivial things, and they would verbally spar until Ike intervened, telling them to grow up. 

“So you fought over a girl, who cares? That was bound to happen at some point.” 

“It was a little more than just fighting over her, Ike,” Taylor had said, venom dripping from every word. But as soon as he had said it, his shoulders sunk. He didn’t even have the energy. He couldn’t defend himself or Bella at this point. They were all at fault. 

One night, Taylor came into the living room where Zac was playing Xbox and handed him a beer. No words were exchanged, but he was pretty sure he felt something lift off of both of them. After that, things were okay. Not exceptional, but okay. He told himself that in a few years, he and Zac would laugh about the summer they both loved the same girl and got in a brawl over it. Well...he was never sure if he really _loved_ Bella. 

It was complicated. 

Moving in with Ike, even temporarily, had forced Taylor and Zac to make amends, but there was still one person out there who probably hated his guts more than Zac ever did. 

Frances 

He thought about her more than he cared to admit. He tried everything to make it go away, but it was impossible. When he let his mind wander, it always went back to her - onstage, delivering the Queen Mab speech flawlessly, glancing down at him in the pit and allowing the smallest of smiles to cross her lips. Or it went back to her at the gala, soft and light - flowers in her hair and a mischievous look in her eyes. For a whole summer, he told her every single thing he was thinking and feeling. He wished he could talk to her now. 

“Hey Ike?” He asked as he sat down at the table with his brother. He took a sip of his coffee and tried to organize his thoughts. 

“What’s up?” 

“Has Zac told you about Frances at all?” 

“The girl you had a crush on?”

Taylor rolled his eyes for the second time, but then decided he might as well just tell it like it was. “Yeah...her.” 

“A little bit, but nothing super specific. Why?” 

“No reason, just wondering.” 

“You miss her don’t you?” 

“Yeah...is that stupid? She was...I mean sure you could say I had a crush on her, that’s fine. But she was also probably the closest friend I’ve ever had, other than you and Zac.” 

“You only knew her for a summer.”

“Yeah, I know, which is why the whole thing was so crazy. I felt so comfortable with her, like I could tell her anything. And I did.” 

“You should call her!” 

“I told her to never speak to me again…” 

“Oh. Well....yeah that complicates that matter a little.” 

Taylor snorted and took another drink. 

“I just really messed everything up.” 

“What are you old ladies gabbing about?” Zac asked as he burst into the kitchen, clearly having just woken up. He poured himself a glass of orange juice and joined them at the table. Taylor smirked at the image of the three of them at the breakfast table, just like when they were kids. _Nikki must be counting down the days until we leave_ , he thought. 

“Frances,” Ike announced before Taylor could stop him. 

“OOOH, okay. What about her?” 

“Nothing I...nothing,” Taylor sputtered. 

“Taylor was just saying how he messed everything up.” 

“IKE!” 

“Oh, God. I mean...okay I clearly have no room to talk since I, too, messed everything up. But...yeah you messed everything up.” 

“Thank you, Zachary.” 

Zac shot finger guns across the table and continued. “You haven’t talked to her since last summer, yeah?” 

“Not one word.”

***

To: frances.brooks@gmail.com  
From: jthanson@gmail.com  
Subject: Hi…

Frances,

Hey. I’ve been doing some thinking and I’m not sure if emailing you is appropriate, but here I am, typing it anyway. Hopefully this is okay. I’m sure you’ve heard by now that Bella and I broke up. The split has forced me to face some things I have been ignoring for months now. I know that that is a good thing but it doesn’t particularly feel good. Anyway, I know that we haven’t spoken in a while, and I know that nothing I say will ever change how I treated you that night in the pit but...I’m sorry for wrapping you up in my mess. You didn’t deserve that. I’m not really sure what I was doing. Fooling myself, for one thing. 

I really cherished our friendship last summer, and I know that it will probably never be restored again, and that’s all on me. I felt like I could talk to you about anything, free of judgement, and I’ve honestly never felt that way with anyone else ever before. It was exhilarating, which I think is why we fell into such close friendship so fast. I don’t regret that part. I just regret how I handled the rest of it. 

What I did to you the night of the gala wasn’t fair to either of us. I understand that now. 

That night in the pit I acted out of anger - partly at you for the whole situation, but mostly anger at myself for not being able to handle my own feelings. I was just trying to temporarily patch a much larger hole, which eventually just got bigger. 

Anyway, I hope you’re doing well. I don’t expect you to even respond to this, but I had to write it. If you’re ever in Oklahoma...let me know. 

-Tay

***

Taylor heaved a heavy sigh and saved the email as a draft. Writing it had felt good, cathartic even, but he wasn’t ready to send it. He didn’t know if he would ever be.

He knew one thing for certain - he missed Frank, and he wanted her to know that he was sorry. He just wasn’t sure if he deserved her forgiveness. 

He wouldn’t delete the email. 

Not yet.


	41. We Happy Few, We Band of Brothers

#### Chapter Forty One - Zac

“I don’t know what is in here, but I think I broke my spine,” Ike whined, setting down the sagging cardboard box he’d just lugged up the stairs.

“Maybe it’s my rock collection,” Zac teased. “Thirsty?”

Isaac nodded and dropped into the recliner he had gifted his brother. Zac skipped across the living room of his new apartment and went to the kitchen. Nikki had stocked the fridge with bottled water, apples, and beer for when they finished moving him in. Zac grabbed three waters, knowing Taylor would be on his way up the stairs any second.

“Look at this place,” Isaac said, looking around the crisply painted room now piled with boxes. “Way to go. You really did it.”

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

Zac looked around proudly. He’d been working at La Monde for three months and found he actually enjoyed it. For the first time in his life, he’d managed to save money. Squatting at Ike and Nikki’s place stopped carrying the same appeal it once had. He found himself craving more independence. He was ready to try adulting. 

“Last box,” Taylor hollered as he came through through the door. “All that’s left is the mattress.”

“Water?”

“Please!”

The three of them chugged half their bottles, replenishing what they’d lost in sweat. May in Tulsa was unpredictable and this particular day, it was muggy and near 90 degrees. Hauling boxes up to the third floor for over two hours was enough to cause all three of them to collapse from heat stroke.

“Thanks for helping me, guys,” Zac managed, once he’d drained the last of his water. 

“Yeah, well I’ll be calling you up when it’s my turn,” Taylor replied, his cheeks flushed and wet hair stuck to his forehead.

“I’m busy that day,” Ike chimed in, causing Taylor to splash him with his water bottle. “Okay, okay I guess I’ll help you too.”

“You better!”

Zac took a moment to appreciate the moment. The sun lit up his new home and the air felt clean. He and his brothers were in a good place. Somehow, all the craziness of last summer; the summer that had nearly ripped them apart; had pulled them even closer together.

Taylor’s ringing phone broke Zac’s train of thought. 

“Hmm,” Taylor shrugged, “I’m going to take this outside.”

Taylor left the apartment in a hurry and Ike and Zac shared a curious glance.

“Well, since we’re on a break, I’m sitting down,” Zac said, taking a seat on the floor. “Guess I’ll have to plan a housewarming party now.”

“You can invite Kendall,” Isaac said with a playful smirk.

“Here we go,” Zac chuckled. 

“She’s into you, dude.”

“And...I’m flattered but…”

“But what?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“I know that’s not true. You couldn’t walk out our front door without hitting on a girl when we were kids. You’re like a heat-seeking missile, but the heat is specifically female.”

“That is NOT true,” Zac guffawed, embarrassed at Ike’s assessment of him. 

“Oh, but it is! And now you’ve got this beautiful blonde throwing herself at you every chance she gets and you’re-- what? Too busy? Suddenly shy? Blind!?”

“No! It’s not--”

“It’s not what? I’m just trying to understand, here.”

“I guess I’m not...ready?”

They sat in silence and Zac watched his brother try to work things out. He could see the moment the lights turned on. Isaac looked up at him, a new emotion behind his eyes: pity.

“You were in love with her? Bella?”

Zac couldn’t make eye contact and he dropped his head, rubbing the back of his neck to avoid the question. His silence was all the answer Ike needed.

“That’s rough.”

“Yeah, well, I’m getting over it. I am over it. I just don’t know if I’m ready for something new.”

“You know, that’s really mature.”

“Really?” Zac said, shocked at the genuine compliment. 

“Yeah! You’re striking out on your own for the first time. You’ve got this great place. It’s wise to take it slow.”

Zac nodded, feeling filled with confidence. It felt good to know he had Isaac’s approval. It felt even better to know that he had his own.

***

“No, it was definitely you, Zac!”

“There is no way I would have been playing in mom’s makeup! Sorry, but it must have been Tay!”

Isaac shook his head furiously, his normally coiffed hair flopping side to side. Taylor was laughing so hard, Zac was concerned he might pass out. They’d started drinking after getting the mattress into the apartment and had quickly finished off both six packs.  
Ike had insisted they move the party to the corner bar and they’d hunkered down in a booth, recounting every humiliating detail of their childhood. Zac couldn’t remember a time he’d laughed so hard.

“I KNOW it was you, Zac, because you wanted us to call you Zacharina.”

“Oh my god, YES!” Taylor had finally caught his breath and was pointing wildly at Ike. “You made up that song!”

“Zacharina the Ballerina…” Ike started to sing, much too loudly for Zac’s liking.

“Tell me, tell me have seen her?” Taylor joined in, even louder.

“Would you guys shut up!?” Zac pretended to be threatening, but really he liked the attention. His brothers were laughing so hard, they could no longer produce sound. Zac finished the cocktail in front of him, no longer certain what he’d ordered.

“Woooo, that's good,” Ike hooted, wiping tears from his eyes.

“This is a really fun night,” Taylor exclaimed, nodding with a sloppy smile. 

“We’re all drunk!” Zac laughed.

“Which is why--” Ike paused, looked cautiously at Zac. “I’m gonna tell him.”

“Isaac, no!” Zac couldn’t help the desperate tone in his voice. He shot a warning glare at his oldest brother, who immediately disregarded it.

“Taylor, there’s something Zachary would like to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“No, Tay. It’s nothing. Forget it, Isaac.”

“Tell me! What is it!?”

“Zachary, your brother, did something last night that you should know about.”

“Should I be nervous?”

Taylor’s face had fallen and Zac realized where his head must have gone. The last time Zac had something he should have told him, it was much more grim. He realized he wasn’t getting out of this without coming clean.

“Tay, its nothing like that.”

“Then what is it, Zac?” 

“You know that email you wrote to Frank?”

“Yeah-- Wait, how do you know about that email?”

“You left it open on your laptop last night and I needed to look up my new cable account….”

“Oh my god, Zac…”

Taylor dropped his head into his hands. Isaac didn’t seem the least bit affected by the mood-shift he had orchestrated. Zac had a dozen mini-flashbacks to everytime Ike had put him in this exact situation and then sat back to watch the fallout.

“Anyway, I read that email and I knew you’d never have the guts to send it so--”

“You didn’t!”

“I did.”

“He sent it!” Isaac was once again dissolving into a puddle of laughter.

“Well, I think I’m sober now,” Taylor said, slumping back in the booth.

“Tay, I shouldn’t...it wasn’t my place to…”

“No it wasn’t, Zac. It wasn’t your place.” Taylor took a deep breath and sat up, resting his arms on the table. “But I’m glad you did it.”

“What? Really?”

“You were right. I would never have done it on my own. And now that it’s done, I think I feel glad.”

Zac sat in disbelief. He’d sent the email more to entertain Isaac, who dared him and egged him on. They both knew Taylor would have saved it in his drafts forever, then spent a lifetime wondering what might have happened if he’d had the balls. Once the deed was done, Zac had felt guilty. This was a fact he never would have copped to, but he’d lost sleep the night before his move, wondering what might happen if Frank actually responded. Isaac may have had bad timing, but there was some relief in the fact that Taylor learned it from them and not from a sudden reply.

“You...you mean it?” Zac asked cautiously. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Taylor sighed, taking a swig of his beer. “It’s actually kind of fitting that this came up tonight.”

“Why is that?” Ike asked.

“That phone call I took earlier? It was from OCP. Their composer for the summer shows had a death in the family and had to drop out.”

“Wait, are you saying--” Zac could feel his stomach turn as he spoke.

“I think I’m going back to Oklahoma City.”


	42. A Twice Told Tale

#### Chapter Forty Two - Bella

It had taken a day to get over the news, but Bella knew it was the right choice. Taylor knew how things worked, he had an endless cache of unfinished music to pull from and she knew that Hamlet was his favorite. He was the right man for the job.

Still, the anxiety she felt when the Artistic Director pulled her into his office to tell her had been extreme. She didn’t know how she would feel having to work with him again, seeing him at every production meeting and rehearsal. It was hard to imagine. She’d gone to bed that night, fighting back thoughts of running away to avoid it all. 

The next day, she was surprised to find that the dark cloud had lifted. Somehow, magically, a good night’s sleep had erased all her worry and fear. She walked into to the theatre and looked around at the place she’d started to call home. 

She would get through it.

She and Taylor were a moment in time. That moment had been wild and fast and awful and wonderful. But the moment had passed. It was time for her to move on. She smiled to herself, proud of this new progress.

“Bella!”

She jumped when she heard the shouting behind her. She turned to find Donovan, one of the actors, running up to her. His face was flushed and she could actually see the sheer panic in his eyes.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“No, no its not. It’s Maria!”

“What? What about her?”

“She’s in the hospital! I guess she fell outside actor housing. I don’t know. Jack called me just as I pulled into the parking lot.”

“Speak of the devil,” she sighed, seeing her phone light up with Jack’s call. 

Jack was the actor playing Hamlet and Maria, Ophelia. Bella had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her this was not going to be an easy day.

“Jack, is everything okay?”

She listened as he explained that Maria had slipped down the steps outside her apartment. She’d hit her head very hard and potentially broken her leg. They’d had to call an ambulance and everyone was freaked out.

Bella sprung into action, cancelling the morning’s rehearsal, informing the office and rushing to meet everyone else at the hospital. When she arrived, the entire cast had taken over the waiting room. She laughed to herself at the sight of them; all these beautiful people looking sad in the bleak fluorescent lighting. It looked like a soap opera.

“How is she?” she asked Jack, who was brooding in a corner, nursing something in a paper cup.

“She’s about to go into surgery. It’s a broken pelvis. They’re putting in pins.”

“Oh god.”

“Yeah, it’s awful. It was a scary fall.”

“Well, I’m glad you were there to get her the help she needed.” Bella patted his shoulder and he nodded, glaring at the floor. She looked around the room, collecting nods of acknowledgment from other company members. She realized this was the first time during this particular show that everyone had come together. 

The whole process had been very different than past summers. They’d had several mini-disasters; losing the composer, needing to replace the light board, a debacle with subscriber ticket sales and now their Ophelia was not going to be able to walk for the foreseeable future.

Bella took an empty seat next to Donavan and made the conscious choice to ignore the voice in the back of her head, telling her to get back to work and to use this time for something productive. She was going to stay and show her solidarity. If she was really moving on from last summer, she would start today.

***

Maria had come through surgery, but doctors explained that she would be in a wheelchair for at least a month. There was no way she would be able to continue with the show. Everyone was incredibly sad for her and Bella was no exception. She had stayed at the hospital all day and gone into Maria’s recovery room when they were all allowed to visit her.

The incident had brought them all together. A few people made jokes about how the show was cursed and it carried throughout the whole company. The show would be one that would become legendary in the history of the company. Bella liked how it felt to be a part of it all. She was glad she’d decided to stay and socialize. She felt like she might actually make friends for once. 

It also made everything infinitely easier when, two days later, Taylor came waltzing into the theatre for his sitzprobe with the cast. Bella found that her heart didn’t do the leaps and flips she’d expected. Instead, it was like she was seeing an old friend. He didn’t seem to be experiencing the same calm.

“Hey, Bella.” 

He faked a smile and it hurt her feelings a bit. She planned to make this summer a positive one; he should do the same. 

“It’s nice to see you, Taylor. Thanks for saving our asses.”

“Don’t I always,” he teased.

_This is going to be okay,_ she thought to herself. _He’ll come around._

Rehearsal was smooth. The cast had embraced the new score, praising it’s fresh, complex sound. Everyone was chattering with excitement as they grabbed their music from the stage management table. Bella waited for most of the cast to clear out before catching Taylor’s eye.

He gave her another half-hearted smile, but she wasn’t giving up.

“Its really, really good! Not that I’m surprised.”

“Thanks. I love this play,”

“It’s your favorite.”

“Yeah…” he mumbled, uncomfortably.

“Look, Taylor. This...us...it’s going to be okay. I’m at peace with it and I hope you know that I won’t be causing you any trouble this summer. I’m really happy you’re back here, and I hope, someday, we can find a way to be friends again.”

Taylor looked like he wanted to respond, but he stopped himself. She wished she could ask him why he seemed so blue and she hoped it didn’t have anything to do with her for once. She decided not to push it and to let him process things in his own way. 

“We’re all going to Three Birds tonight, if you’d like to join.” She let her invitation hang in the air as she casually packed up her bag. “No pressure.”

“I would, you know, but uh....” He ran his hands through his hair and eye contact with her for the first time since he’d arrived. “My brothers are here. They helped me move into my place.”

“Oh!” Bella tried not to sound so intrigued but she knew he could see right through her.

“I don’t know that he needs to see you right now.”

It was like a knife in her heart. She had been so concerned with Taylor’s feelings and what she’d done to him, she’d given no thought to Zac at all. She felt like tattooing the word “asshole” across her forehead.

“Right, okay. Well, another time then.”

“Sure.”

With that, he was gone. She finished gathering her things and headed to the office to deliver the rehearsal report. She tried to suppress the urge to become defensive. She knew she’d hurt Zac; she hadn’t realized how badly.

In the office, she ran into the director, Scott. He was sitting at a desk stacked high with headshots and resumes. He looked beyond stressed.

“I don’t know how I’m going to replace Maria. It’s Ophelia for god’s sake! You’t think, after two days, I’d have someone!”

“Really, no one?” 

“Bella, you wanna be in a show?” he joked.

“Not in a millions years!” she practically screamed back. “Anyway, there’s zero chance you’d ever be able to replace me!”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Scott said, shaking his head, resigned to his hopeless state.

Suddenly, a light bulb switched on in Bella’s head. She didn’t know if it was all the nostalgia of last summer or the melancholy she saw in Taylor or her own, newfound need to be less of a villain, but she took a seat across from Scott.

“I think I know who you should ask.”

“Enlighten me,” Scott said through tired eyes.

“She’s perfect for the part and she’ll nail it without much rehearsal.”

“Get to the point!” Scott was in no mood, but Bella smiled broadly.

She knew what she was about to say would be the thing to make this summer one of true closure. The summer of moving forward, not just moving on. She would do it for herself, but mostly she would do it for Taylor. She owed it to him.

“You should call Frances Brooks.”


End file.
